Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 3 of 42
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Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Howard: Sheldon, you remember the first few weeks we were looking for magnetic monopoles and not finding anything, and you were acting like an obnoxious, giant dictator?
Raj: I thought we were going to be gentle with him.
Howard: That's why I added the '-tator'.
Quote from the episode Pilot
Howard: Wait till you see this.
Raj: It's fantastic. Unbelievable!
Leonard: See what?
Howard: (Putting in DVD) It's a Stephen Hawking lecture from MIT in 1974.
Leonard: This isn't a good time.
Howard: (Imitating Stephen Hawking) It's before he became a creepy computer voice.
Quote from the episode The Griffin Equivalency
(Sheldon smiles in a grotesque way).
Howard: Oh crap that's terrifying.
Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction
Howard: Try telling him it's a non-optional social convention.
Howard: Just do it!
Penny: It's a non-optional social convention.
Sheldon: Oh, fair enough.
Howard: He came with a manual.
Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization
Raj: What do you say, Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!
Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation
Leonard: She didnt dump me. We were just in different places in the relationship.
Sheldon: I fail to see how a relationship can have the qualities of a geographical location.
Wolowitz: Its very simple. Leonard was living in a little town called "Please don't leave me", while Penny had just moved to the island of "Bye-bye!"
Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation
Bernadette: I love that you take pride in your looks. Even when I have to pee in the morning and you're in there spending an hour on your hair.
Howard: I love that you're too good to pee in the kitchen sink.
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Raj: Before you finish, is this a story about patience or waiting, or just another reminder that you went to space?
Howard: A story can do two things.
Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.
Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity
Sheldon: I don't care for novelty editions of Monopoly. I prefer the classics: regular and Klingon.
Howard: Actually, Indian Monopoly is just like regular. Except the money is in rupees and instead of hotels, you build call centers. And when you pick a chance card, you might die of dysentery. Just FYI, that was racist.
Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem
Penny: Whats Sheldon's deal? Is it girls, guys, sock puppets?
Howard: We operate on the assumption that Sheldon has no deal. Though we have many theories about how he might reproduce. I'm an advocate of mitosis.
Howard: I believe that one day Sheldon will eat an enormous amount of Thai food and spilt into two Sheldons.
Quote from the episode The Wiggly Finger Catalyst
Sheldon: The entrance to the dungeon is a moss covered door. You manage to open it only to find yourself face-to-face with a hideous, foul-smelling, moss-covered ogre. What do you do?
Howard: I say, "Hey Ma, what's for dinner?"
Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution
Sheldon: You shot your spit in my mouth!
Howard: Is that gonna be on the test? Because I don't think I can do that again.
Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation
Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but-
Leonard: Don't tell her.
Sheldon: We're playing Klingon Boggle.
Howard: What do you mean "Aww?" Like she didn't know we were nerds?