Howard: You know, I thought our friendship meant more to you.
Raj: So did I.

Stuart: What did you put for your best feature?
Raj: My parents' money. What did you put for your best feature?
Stuart: I put "not applicable".

Raj: Oh, my goodness. Aren't you the cutest little Yorkie ever! You got him for me?
Howard: Her. We thought you two would hit it off.
Raj: I think we already have.

Dr. Koothrappali: Tilt up the camera, I'm looking at his crotch.
Raj: Sorry, Papa!
Dr. Koothrappali: Oh, there's much better. Hi.

Raj: That is one tough birdie.

Leonard: This is our year, with those guys out, the entire Physics Bowl will kneel before Zod.
Penny: Zod?
Howard: Kryptonian villain, long story.
Raj: Good story. (Covers his mouth upon realizing he spoke to Penny sober)

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.

Raj: I'm a lamb!

Raj: This is not over!

Bernadette: You're not gonna get information, you're just gonna get criticism that hurts your feelings.
Raj: Don't worry, I'm a grown man. I have a thick skin.
Howard: (chuckles) You're so stupid.
Raj: Hey!

Howard: All right, enough with the camera.
Raj: Well, this is not for me. This is for the baby. Some day she's gonna want to see this.
Howard: I'm sorry. Who's gonna want to see this?
Raj: I I said "she" but lots of things are she - boats and cars, whales. Like, "thar she blows!"
Stuart: You're doing great.

Doctor Wolcott: Well, um, I don't normally allow strangers into my house.
Raj: But when you do, you-you let them out, right?

Raj: So, forgive me forgive me for being nosy, but is there a wedding ring under those pretty rubber gloves?
Issabella: No, not for many years.
Raj: Oh, so, you are unencumbered?
Issabella: Just me and my son.
Raj: I love kids, how old is he?
Issabella: Nineteen.
Raj: That's a cute age. They can do so many things.

Howard: Oh, boy. I really passed out hard.
Raj: Yeah, tell me about it. The kids could've screamed bloody murder and you wouldn't have woken up. Which I know because they did.

Raj: This is fun. I have never cleaned a toilet before.
Issabella: You're kidding.
Raj: No, I grew up with a house full of servants and now I have a cleaning lady ... who is a lovely woman who I have great respect for.
Issabella: It's okay, you're allowed to have a cleaning lady.
Raj: Oh, good, because she also walks my dog, buys my groceries and cuts my hair.
Issabella: I think that's called a mommy.