Sheldon: Wait. The premise is that he is dressed differently?
Howard: Yeah.
Sheldon: (laughing) That's true. He is not dressed the same.

Sheldon: If my apples are mealy, we can hit the supermarket for one last blowout. I'll even let you push the trolley.

Sheldon: Everything is stupid and I want to go home.
Leonard: That's Sheldon's way of saying he's proud of Bert, too.

Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.

Leonard: What are you thinking of naming it?
Sheldon: I haven't settled on anything yet.
Raj: We haven't settled on anything yet.
Sheldon: All right, way to go, Cat Poster. You hang in there.

Sheldon: Alright, I'm mad at you. Not only did you ruin Raiders for me, you might have ruined the whole franchise. Except for the fourth one, which was bad before you got your mitts on it.

Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, I promise that I will work my hardest to make this show great so that a whole new generation of kids will grow up and they will be able to say that Professor Proton was the reason they got into science.
Sheldon: Wow, that was very persuasive.
Wil Wheaton: Thanks.
Sheldon: But I won't be seduced by your acting skills nor your movie star charisma. There's only one Professor Proton, and he had neither of those things.

Amy: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I'm not sure. Earlier tonight, things began organically, and now it's feeling forced, like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels.

Sheldon: Perhaps you'd prefer this one. The itzy-bitzy spider is not an insect at all. Because it has eight legs and two body parts.

Amy: You know, this is really fun. I can't believe that people say that planning a wedding is one of the most stressful things in life.
Sheldon: I know. Not a day goes by that I don't marvel how much better we are than other people.

Sheldon: Well if the ushers are so important to you, what if I propose a trade? You may pick that, and I will decide, say, first dance.
Amy: Great. Then the ushers will be my cousins dressed in frontier frock coats.
Sheldon: Oh. And the first dance will be that we won't have one.
Amy: All right. Then our second dance will be the first dance.
Sheldon: Unless we have no dance at all.

Leonard: Sheldon has kind of a photographic memory.
Sheldon: "Photographic" is a misnomer. I have an eidetic memory, as I've told you many times. Most recently last year during lunch on the afternoon of May 7th. You had turkey and complained it was dry.

Sheldon: Of course, this will require a vote. Unfortunately, my official gavel is in my bedroom, but luckily I have my travel gavel.

Sheldon: Beverly believes I unconsciously consider my old room an escape hatch.
Amy: Is that bothering you?
Sheldon: Yes. I don't care for unconscious thoughts. My brain and I are best friends. It should tell me everything.
Amy: I mean, how it relates to our relationship, not the bromance between you and your brain.

Penny: What would you like to do, Sheldon?
Sheldon: The only fitting send-off: a Viking funeral.
Leonard: You mean, like, push it out into a lake and shoot it with a flaming arrow?
Sheldon: This guy gets it.
Penny: How about a bathtub and a match?
Sheldon: How about a bathtub and a flaming arrow?
Amy: How about a bathtub, a match and an ice-cold Yoo-hoo after?
Sheldon: Sold.