Sheldon: Tweet that, tweetie bird.

Penny: (Upset, about Kurt) 4 years, I lived with him. 4 years! That's like as long as high school.
Sheldon: It took you 4 years to get through high school?

Sheldon: I'm trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt.

Todd Zarnecki: Who is it?
Sheldon: Your doom.

Sheldon: No mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I am home safe does not prove it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc. No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.

Amy: We need to fabricate a tantalising piece of gossip.
Sheldon: And a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control.
Amy: Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Sheldon: Look at you, getting me to engage in the Social Sciences. You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

Penny: Well why don't you go to the movies then?
Sheldon: Because who would be there to perform the Heimlich maneuver if I choke on my popcorn?
Penny: So, don't buy popcorn.
Sheldon: No popcorn at the mo - listen to yourself!

Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!

Sheldon: The two of you need to get your women in line!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Last night, I was strong armed into an evening of harp music and spooning with an emotional Amy Farrah Fowler. This on a night that I had originally designated for solving the space time geometry in higher spin gravity and building my Lego death star. And why? Because your gal pals, Penny and Bernadette, went out shopping for some wedding nonsense without Amy. An action they took with no thought or regard as to how it would affect me, the future of string theory, or my Lego fun time!
Howard: What do you want us to do about it?
Sheldon: You clearly weren't listening to my topic sentence. Get your women in line! You make them apologize to Amy and set things right. I am a man of science, not someone's snuggle bunny!
Leonard: Why do I have to talk to Penny? She's not my girlfriend.
Sheldon: You invited her to lunch four years ago. Everything about her is on you. You make it so!

Sheldon: I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

Penny: Helium.
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Taylor Swift.
Penny: Yes. Pi.
Sheldon: Yes. Kardashian.
Penny: More specific.
Sheldon: Khloe?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: See, I remembered because if it looks like Kim it's Kim, if it looks kind of like Kim it's Kourtney, and if it looks nothing like Kim it's Khloe.

Penny: It's like if you're dating someone you're not that into and then they break up with you. Then you want them more than ever.
Sheldon: I have no idea what she's talking about, but we're ganging up on you so I agree.

Sheldon: I didn't care for her yelling, but now that I'm not going to hear it again, I'm sad.
Leonard: If you want, I can yell at you later.
Sheldon: It won't be as good.

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Amy: Oh. That's me. Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Fowler. I see. Okay, thank you. We won.
Penny: Congratulations!
Leonard: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: We did it.
Amy: I know. Can you believe it?
Sheldon: That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming? [Leonard slaps Sheldon] We won the Nobel Prize!