Sheldon: I understand that we are no longer a couple, but I'd like to remind you that we made a baby together.
Amy: What baby?
Sheldon: A precocious, little Internet show known as Fun with Flags.

Sheldon: I have one question. Is this a prank? Where you land in Houston and you've made up wanted posters which have my face with a moustache and a Spanish name, and I get arrested and deported to South America?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Well I'm glad, because I would not have seen that coming.

Bernadette: Sheldon, when was the last time you got any sleep?
Sheldon: I don't know. 2 or 3 days. Not important. I don't need sleep, I need answers. I need to determine where in this swamp of unbalanced formulas squatteth the toad of truth.
Penny: Toad of truth? Is that a physics thing?
Leonard: No, that's a crazy thing.

Sheldon: Why hast thou forsaken me, O deity whose existence I doubt?

Sheldon: And then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, I don't think you understand how being broken up works.
Can you believe that? You'd think the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it did, given it's not as young as it used to be. And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders.

Leonard: Well, you kids have fun. I'm going to go to sleep.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm good.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?

Sheldon: I don't understand why women insist on making a big production about buying clothes.
Penny: You're right. We should do what you do, have our mom send us pants from the Wal-Mart in Houston.
Sheldon: They have a man there who understands my personal style.

Sheldon: Good. Then I'll be leaving now.
Emily: Oh, it's okay, Sheldon. Come with us.
Sheldon: Oh, that's very kind of you. But I'm sure you'll all have a better time without me. Let's go, Stuart.
Stuart: But I want to stay.
Sheldon: Stuart, now!

Sheldon: I'm not a child. I know the word 'ninny.'

Howard: Listen, I was thinking you and I could probably try to be better friends.
Sheldon: Really? I was thinking what we have now is a bit much.

Amy: You're making me worry. What's going on?
Sheldon: What's going is we're about to go to a prom and there's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called "makin' whoopee".

Sheldon: The National Science Foundation wants to give me a substantial grant.
Raj: That's a big deal.
Sheldon: I know. When will this nightmare end?

Koothrappali: Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a near-sighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Koothrappali: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Koothrappali: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Sheldon: (In Mandarin) Show me your mucus. Your mucus!
Chen: (Mandarin) Blow your own nose and go away!
Sheldon: (Mandarin) This is not a tangerine bicycle. Show me your mucus!
Chen: Crazy man. Call the police.
Sheldon: (Mandarin) No, don't call the library. Show me your mucus.