Leonard: I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
Sheldon: I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.

Amy: Are you asking me to go to Mars with you?
Sheldon: I am. If I'm going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.

Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. If there's one thing I know after living with you all these years, it's how to compromise.

Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.

Amy: Here, I made you some Strawberry Quik.
Sheldon: I have real problems here, Amy. I can't be mollified with a beverage designed for children. *Takes a sip* Mmm, yummy.

Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.

Sheldon: What happened?
Penny: Your buddy got mugged by some baby farm animals.
Sheldon: Been there.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.

Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.

Penny: Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?
Sheldon: I'm not going. Would you like to know why?
Penny: You're sad about not getting any thing done last night, so you're gonna sit around and pout about it.
Sheldon: Boy, I'm not nearly as mysterious as I think I am.

Sheldon: Well, I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

Sheldon: Oh no, they sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!