Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 47 of 262
Quote from the episode The Commitment Determination
Amy: Sheldon, do you understand the irony of your fixation on a man with super speed, while after five years all I can get out of you is a distracted make-out session on a couch?
Sheldon: Irony's not really my strong suit.
Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration
Sheldon: You know what you could make us do? Ice skating. The cold air will trigger Leonard's asthma, and it plays into my well known fear of getting flattened by a zamboni.
Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst
Sheldon: Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I think I'll turn in. I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.
Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.
Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation
Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.
Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Penny: Sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday?
Sheldon: And you do realize I bought my ticket when Amy and I were broken up. I hope you didn't need anything in that case, because it's closed.
Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Experimentation
Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.
Quote from the episode The Opening Night Excitation
Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy/girl sleepover.
Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
Sheldon: G-rated with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.
Quote from the episode The Intimacy Acceleration
Sheldon: I think it's safe to say you're not in love with me and I'm not in love with you. And psychology has once again proved itself the doofus of the sciences.
Quote from the episode The Communication Deterioration
Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Bingo Was His Name-o"* There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K, space, M-A-X-W-E-L-L, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. *claps* A-M-E-S--
Leonard: Okay, okay, we get it.
Quote from the episode The Viewing Party Combustion
Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.
Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis
Sheldon: Oh no, they sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!
Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation
Sheldon: And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?
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