Sheldon: Hey, Los Angeles. I'm on a ferris wheel with Darth Vader and he's nicer than you think.
James Earl Jones: I am!

Leonard: Penny and I are going to go shop for a dining room table. Do you want to come with us?
Sheldon: I'd love to, but I'm too busy falling back in love with Windows 98.
Leonard: Seriously? You haven't used this desk in years. The second I want to get rid of it you're up here working.
Sheldon: I can't talk right now. I have several thousand updates to install.

Sheldon: I knew you'd understand, armadillo Isaac Newton.

Sheldon: You were really going to stand by me against the dining room table?
Amy: Of course I was.
Sheldon: Wait, how do I know you're not manipulating me right now?
Amy: I think if I were manipulating you, you'd be smart enough to see it.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not saying that as part of the manipulation?
Amy: You'd be smart enough to see that too.
Sheldon: Okay. Sorry I gave you such a hard time. I just had to be sure.

Sheldon: And now that I think about it. I stood in front of a case of iPods and I bought a Zune.
Amy: What's a Zune?
Sheldon: Exactly! It's an MP3 people brought to us by the makers of Xbox.

Penny: You are a wise man.
Sheldon: Well, Penny, who's smarter, the wise man or the person who comes to him for advice?
Penny: Oh, I guess you're right. Maybe it is the person who asks.
Sheldon: No, it's the wise man. That's why they call him the wise man.

Sheldon: When Darth Vader struck down Obi-Wan, did Luke cry like a baby and go to his funeral?
Penny: No. He blew up the death star. ... Why do I know this?

Howard: You sure you're up for that? She did hurt you.
Sheldon: Oh, no, it's all right. I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum: sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

Sheldon: Would you care to play an ocean-themed game I invented?
Amy: Sure. What is it?
Sheldon: It's called Food, Friend, Fight. One of us chooses three aquatic creatures, and the other one must decide which he would eat, befriend, or battle.
Amy: So it's like Kiss, Marry, Kill.
Sheldon: What is that?
Amy: It's a game where you're given three people and you choose which one you'd kiss, marry, or kill.
Sheldon: Well, my game is better, 'cause instead of marrying someone, you get to eat them.

Howard: You reported me to human resources?
Sheldon: You violated the sanctity of my mouth.

Leonard: What's this?
Sheldon: Tea. it's costumary to serve hot beverages when one is in emotional distress. [pats Leonard's head] There there. You want to talk about it?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: Thank godness. 'There there' was really all I had.

Sheldon: I was otherwise engaged.
Penny: Doing what?
Sheldon: I was examining perturbutive amplitudes in N=4 supersymeteric theories leading to a re-examination of the ultraviolet properties of multiloop N=8 supergravity using modern twistor theory.

Raj: They're going to digitally add a supernova they say its the perfect metaphor for my incandescent talent.
Sheldon: Yes, a giant ball of gas that collapses on itself.

Sheldon: Eugh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and here comes a cake with raisins in it.