Leonard: Come on, not that book! It's got like every horrible story from my childhood in it.
Penny: Oh cool, are there pictures?

Leonard: Mr. Nye, hello. I'm sorry he got you involved in this nonsense.
Bill Nye: He told me I'd be speaking to a class.
Sheldon: No, I said you were teaching someone a lesson.

Raj: Hey, you guys just time travelled so stop looking so bored.

Emily: It's fine. All my friends love this story. They call you Clogzilla.
Raj: Get it? Because you clogged up her bathroom like a radioactive monster.

Sheldon: My mother would lock her car if she had to drive through his hodgepodge of ethnicity.

Penny: I don't understand why you're not upset with Amy.
Sheldon: I am. So much so that I'm going to bring her here for dinner on our next date night.

Leonard: The funeral's on Sunday.
Sheldon: But that's Star Wars day.
Leonard: Yeah. Off all the things about this that are sad, that might not be number one.

Leonard: The guys are about to start Jedi. Do you want to go watch?
Sheldon: I do. After I make them go back and watch 1 through 5.
Leonard: That will take all night.
Sheldon: That's true. Good thing I had that nap.

Penny: You know the only thing worse than a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass, is getting fired from a movie where they glue monkey hair to your ass.

Amy: So I can drink this drink without giving up the goodies?

Leonard: It would actually be nice to not hear Sheldon complain about my cooking all day.
Sheldon: Excuse me. Every year you prepare a terrible meal and every year I criticize it. Do our traditions mean nothing to you?

Sheldon: Can you break a twenty?
Stuart: No, I only have hundreds.
Sheldon: You know what. I don't always recognize sarcasm, but I do right now and I don't appreciate it. I'm sorry for your loss, but you're not the only one whose day's been a disaster.

Sheldon: (About Bernadette) She's so tiny!

Sheldon: Well, Leonard, I think it's high time we address the tweepadoc in the room.
Leonard: The what?

Penny: I've just never known anyone that died. I had a pet pig when I was a kid. When he died we didn't have a funeral, we had a barbecue.