Sheldon: What rat have you recruited to the SS sinking ship?
Leslie: Hello Sheldon.
Sheldon: Leslie Winkle.
Leslie: Yeah Leslie Winkle. The answer to the question, who made Sheldon Cooper cry like a little girl?
Sheldon: Yes well I am polymerised tree saps and you are an inorganic adhesive so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off me, returns on its original trajectory and adheres to you.
Leslie: Oh, ouch.

Penny: Oh, anyways I'm also writing a screenplay. It's about this sensitive girl who comes to LA from Lincoln, Nebraska, to be an actress and who ends up a waitress at the cheesecake factory.
Leonard: So it's based on your life?
Penny: No, I'm from Omaha!

Penny: Anybody need a refill?
Raj: (Drunk) Where did my life go, Penny?
*Everyone realizes Raj spoke to Penny.*
Raj: One day, I'm a carefree bachelor, the next, I'm driving a minivan to peewee cricket matches in suburban New Delhi.
Penny: Are you talking to me?
Raj: Is there another Penny here?

Sheldon: I shower twice a day and wash my hands as often as I can.
Lalita: Really? So do I!
Raj: But, you're a dentist, he's nuts!

Sheldon: (Mandarin) Long live concrete? Thank you.

Leonard: Elevators, parks, movie theaters. Out of curiosity, is this subway, the transportation system, or Subway, the sandwich shop?
Penny: Sandwich shop.
Leonard: Doesn't that violate the health code or--?
Penny: No, at the sandwich shop, we were only making out.

Sheldon: Yeah, I think you'll appreciate this, very exciting.
Dr. Gablehauser: Oh, what are you working on?
Sheldon: Something remarkable. Since my prospects for the Nobel Prize in physics have disappeared, thank you very much, I've decided to refocus my efforts and use my people skills to win the Nobel Peace Prize. Look, I'm going to solve the Middle-East Crisis by building an exact replica of Jerusalem in the middle of the Mexican desert.
Dr. Gablehauser: To what end?
Sheldon: You know, it's like the baseball movie, build it and they will come.
Dr. Gablehauser: Who will come?
Sheldon: The Jewish people.
Dr. Gablehauser: What if they don't come?
Sheldon: We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

Leonard: On the other hand, some physicists are concerned that if the supercollider actually works, it'll create a black hole and swallow up the Earth, ending life as we know it.
Raj: What a bunch of crybabies. No guts, no glory, man.

Penny: Ok, here you go Leonard. One tequila sunrise!
Leonard: Thank you! You know, this drink is a wonderful example of how liquids with different specific gravities interact in a cylindrical container!

Sheldon: I don't know how, but she is cheating! Nobody can be that attractive and this skilled at a videogame.

Sheldon: The last department party, Professor Finkleday cornered me and talked about spelunking for 45 minutes.
Leonard: Yes, I was there.
Sheldon: You know what's interesting about caves, Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Nothing!

Penny: I don't understand, exactly how did he get any friends in the first place?
Howard: We liked Leonard.

Leonard: There's not going to be a confrontation. I bet he can't even spell confrontation.
Kurt: C-O-N...frontation.

Leonard: I was thinking more of a biosocial exploration with a neurochemical overlay.
Leslie: Wait, are you asking me out?

Mary Cooper: Leonard, don't trouble yourself. He's stubborn. He may stay in there 'til the rapture.