Mary Cooper: Leonard, don't trouble yourself. He's stubborn. He may stay in there 'til the rapture.

Sheldon: When I was a little boy and got sick, which was most of the time, my mother would read [The Monkey and the Princess] to me. It's about an Indian princess who befriends a monkey who was mocked by all the other monkeys because he was different. For some reason I related to it quite strongly.
Penny: I know the reason.
Leonard: We all know the reason.

Sheldon: Hello, Penny! Leonard just left.
Penny: I know. I wanna talk to you.
Sheldon: What would we talk about? We have no overlapping areas of interest, as I'm aware of. And you know I don't care for chit-chat.
Penny: Can you just let me in?
Sheldon: Well, OK but I don't see this as a promising endeavor.

Leonard: There's not going to be a confrontation. I bet he can't even spell confrontation.
Kurt: C-O-N...frontation.

Raj: You have lost so much weight. That must have been difficult for you because you were so, so fat. Do you remember?
Lalita: Yes I do.
Raj: Of course you do. Who could forget being that fat?
Lalita: Well I've been trying.

Leonard: Maybe I am her gay friend.

Sheldon: (Speaking Chinese to Leonard).
Howard: You just called Leonard a syphillitic donkey.
Sheldon: My apologies, Leonard. I'm only as good as my teacher.

Sheldon: My mom bought me those pants.
Leonard: I'm sorry!
Sheldon: You're gonna have to call her.

Leonard: We need to widen our circle.
Sheldon: I have a very wide circle. I have 212 friends on MySpace.
Leonard: Yes, and you've never met one of them.
Sheldon: That's the beauty of it.

Sheldon: There's always a chance that alcohol and poor judgment on her part may lead to a wonderful evening.

Leonard: I love cheesecake.
Sheldon: You're lactose-intolerant.
Leonard: I don't eat it. I just think it's a good idea.

Penny: And there was no-one there to take care of you?
Sheldon: No. No, my mum had to fly back to Texas to help my dad because the house had slipped off the cinder blocks again.
Penny: Again?
Sheldon: It was tornado season. And it was an aluminum house.

Mary Cooper: You know we have an Indian gentleman at the church. Dr. Patel. It's a beautiful story. The Lord spoke to him and moved him to give us all 20% off on Lasek. You know those that needed it.

Mary Cooper: You have to take your time with Sheldon. His father, God rest his soul, always used to say to me "Mary, you have to take your time with Sheldon."

Penny: Wow! So in your world, you're like the cool guys.
Howard: Recognize!