Leonard: So you think it's fine if she works for Zack?
Howard: I don't know. Maybe.
Raj: Well, he is much more attractive than Leonard.
Howard: Yes, but that's gonna be true of a lot of guys she works for.
Leonard: Yeah, but she also used to sleep with Zack.
Howard: Again...

Amy: Did you say you guys are working on the guidance system tomorrow?
Leonard: Yeah, why?
Amy: Well, Sheldon said that he was gonna work with me on our quantum perception project.
Leonard: We've had this planned for a week.
Amy: Well, he reconfirmed with me this morning.
Raj: Guys, before this gets ugly, remember, the winner gets Sheldon.

Bernadette: I would never let Howard work with an ex.
Penny: What, you wouldn't trust him?
Bernadette: I wouldn't trust her. He's thin and sexy like a Jewish greyhound.
Penny: Yeah, that - that is the sexiest dog.

Amy: "Number three: Fair topics for insult include educational pedigree, scientific field, intellectual prowess, and mamas."
Sheldon: Yeah, that list is strong. Like your mother's urge to be promiscuous with sailors.

Bernadette: And I'd like to think Howie wouldn't take a job I was uncomfortable with.
Penny: 'Cause he's scared of you?
Bernadette: Terrified.
Penny: Yeah.

Amy: "Revised ground rule number two: There are definitely stupid questions. And those who ask them can be told so right to their stupid face."
Sheldon: I love that one.
Amy: Thanks, babe.

Sheldon: Can you read them back?
Amy: "Revised ground rule number one: We are on the same team, but it is a competition."
Sheldon: Excellent. Excellent. And on a related point, you're going down, punk.

Howard: You should be happy someone wants to do the stuff with Penny you don't want to.
Bernadette: Yeah, I wish I had that with Howard.
Howard: Wait. What? What do I make you do?
Bernadette: Let's see: the magic store, the Doctor Who convention, the National Belt Buckle Collector's meet and greet.
Howard: It said right there on the invitation, "Buckle up for fun." It's not my fault you didn't listen.

Leonard: You know, it's nice to spend time with people who don't talk about work like it's some kind of soap opera.
Bernadette: Jennifer still trying to sleep her way to the top?
Leonard: (deflated) Yeah.

Sheldon: Can you stop breathing so loud? I can hear your nose whistling.
Amy: I can hear your face talking, so we're even.

Howard: Fine, what should we do?
Bernadette: We're smart. I'm sure we can think of something.
Howard: You want to let him live here?
Bernadette: Oh, we're smarter than that.

Leonard: No. He can't afford his apartment, and he's asking if anyone knows of a cheap place to live. I want to say "India," but it seems mean.

Raj: Well, I may be moving out soon. I think I found a place to live.
Penny: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Raj: Really? You kept sending me apartment listings.
Penny: Um, well, I- Yeah, you got me.

Howard: How can you work on something for a year and they just take it?
Leonard: I can't believe the Air Force would treat us like that.
Sheldon: You know, I have a good mind to stop paying my taxes. It's too bad I enjoy doing them so much.

Howard: Hey, uh, so we've been talking, and if you need a place to stay, we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you.
Raj: That would be amazing! I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in.
Howard: I know it's not ideal, but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, and there's this cool button that makes an entire wall go up and down.