Leonard: Uh, Theodore, how long are you planning to stay exactly?
Theodore: Oh, thanks to the coins I found in your couch, a day longer than I thought.

Leonard: Sheldon, get out here!
Sheldon: Will you keep it down? What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast do you think I'm running?

Theodore: Excuse me. It's none of my business, but it sounds like a lot of this anger is coming from love.
Leonard: Yeah, thanks, but nobody asked you.
Theodore: Well, I'm just gonna keep on talking. Seems like, with Sheldon moving out, you're in a new phase of your lives and it's easier to fight than to face the feelings that you have for one another.
Amy: I think he might be right. Also, who is that?

Sheldon: I have to admit, leaving you to move in with Amy has been harder than I thought it would be.
Leonard: Well, for me, too. It's not the same with you gone.
Theodore: If you're looking for a new guy to live with-
Leonard: No!
Penny: We're good. Thank you.

Penny: What do you think? Should we go to a hotel?
Leonard: And just leave him here alone?
Penny: Okay, I'll go to a hotel. Text me in the morning if you're still alive.

Raj: Oh, hey, Bernadette, the swing comes with two different mobiles. The giraffes are pretty cute, what do you think?
Bernadette: Great, go with the giraffes.
Stuart: Although the high contrast of zebra stripes might provide better stimulus for a developing baby.
Bernadette: Yeah, you're probably right, go with the zebras.
Stuart: Good choice, boss.
Raj: At least my nose is naturally brown.

Bernadette: Hey, could you please go to the market for me?
Howard: Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
Bernadette: Howie, they've been doing everything for you.
Howard: Mm, I know. It's really making me lose respect for both of them.
Bernadette: Please just go to the store.
Howard: Fine. (shouting) Who wants to drive me to the store?
Raj: (off-screen) Me!
Stuart: (off-screen) I'll do it!
Bernadette: Take Raj. Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.

Penny: I think I'm gonna go for a run. You want to come?
Leonard: No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming, "Watch out, he's right behind you."

Leonard: Hello?
Theodore: Hey, how you doing?
Leonard: Uh, can I help you?
Theodore: I don't think so, but you're sweet for asking.
Penny: What-What are you doing in our apartment?
Theodore: Oh, I rented a room from your neighbor, the tall guy dressed like a little boy.

Sheldon: So, there are fresh linens on the bed and - Oh. Well, now, I see you've met Theodore. Theodore, these are your new roommates, Leonard and Penny. They're very honest, but I would not leave cash lying around.

Leonard: Sheldon, what do you think you're doing?
Sheldon: My room is paid up until the end of the month, so I can do with it whatever I please, which includes renting it out for a dollar a night.
Theodore: It's like the '40s again.

Penny: All right, Sheldon, this is over the line.
Sheldon: That's true, but had I done something under the line, there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen who can't produce a single form of ID.
Theodore: Oh, oh, I have a receipt from a blood bank. I'm O-negative.
Sheldon: And now you know as much about him as I do.

Raj: So, I was reading how it's a good idea for new parents to take an infant CPR class.
Bernadette: Yeah, we've been meaning to do that.
Stuart: Oh, I know a CPR instructor who'll come to the house.
Howard: That'd be great.
Stuart: I'll give him a call. We met when I was sleeping on the beach and he thought I was dead.

Bernadette: Thank you again for cooking. It's getting tough for me to be on my feet all day.
Stuart: You just kick back and relax; I've got it all under control.
Raj: Although it was already under control.
Stuart: I'm sorry, you mumbled something?
Raj: It's just that they've had plenty of help.
Stuart: Well, you know what they say. It takes a village.
Raj: Well, they already had a village.
Stuart: I noticed the village couldn't find time to put the crib together.
Raj: Yeah, well, maybe the village was too busy checking out the local Montessori school for the new arrival.
Stuart: You mean the one with the empty beer bottles in the sandbox? We'll pass, thank you.

Leonard: I believe that is flag to crotch four, checkmate. Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.