Bernadette: Hey, could you please go to the market for me?
Howard: Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
Bernadette: Howie, they've been doing everything for you.
Howard: Mm, I know. It's really making me lose respect for both of them.
Bernadette: Please just go to the store.
Howard: Fine. (shouting) Who wants to drive me to the store?
Raj: (off-screen) Me!
Stuart: (off-screen) I'll do it!
Bernadette: Take Raj. Stuart is supposed to paint my toenails.

Leonard: Uh, Theodore, how long are you planning to stay exactly?
Theodore: Oh, thanks to the coins I found in your couch, a day longer than I thought.

Leonard: Sheldon, get out here!
Sheldon: Will you keep it down? What kind of vengeful bed and breakfast do you think I'm running?

Theodore: Excuse me. It's none of my business, but it sounds like a lot of this anger is coming from love.
Leonard: Yeah, thanks, but nobody asked you.
Theodore: Well, I'm just gonna keep on talking. Seems like, with Sheldon moving out, you're in a new phase of your lives and it's easier to fight than to face the feelings that you have for one another.
Amy: I think he might be right. Also, who is that?

Sheldon: I have to admit, leaving you to move in with Amy has been harder than I thought it would be.
Leonard: Well, for me, too. It's not the same with you gone.
Theodore: If you're looking for a new guy to live with-
Leonard: No!
Penny: We're good. Thank you.

Howard: Hey, tomorrow who wants to paint the nursery?
Raj: I'll do it.
Stuart: Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist.
Raj: Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist.
Stuart: Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving.

Raj: (In a sing-songy fashion) You see, I was at the doctor's office, the folder was right there, so I took a peek.
Howard: (Imitating Koothrappali) And talking like this doesn't make it less creepy.

Leonard: Damn, I need my inhaler.
Penny: Just don't smoke.
Leonard: No, I went down the stairs too fast.

Leonard: I found it, but it's empty.
Penny: Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now.
Leonard: Are you sure? I'd really like to.

Leonard: If we find my backup inhaler, maybe we can get frisky.
Penny: Oh, you sexy, wheezy little man.

Bernadette: Raj!
Raj: (into the camera) Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. This next part may contain some adult language.

Leonard: Found the backup inhaler. Want to have sex?
Penny: Well, I didn't until I heard that.

Raj: (Outside, in a sing-song voice) Hello! Howard and Bernadette kicked me out because I told them they're having a girl! Oopsy, I did it again.
Penny: Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away.
Raj: (sing-songy) You're gonna have to be quieter than that.

Amy: I got a Gryffindor robe for you.
Sheldon: (exhales) Oh A Gryffindor sleeping with a Hufflepuff? How scandalous.

Amy: (hiding behind the door in her Harry Potter costume) Hello Is this about the baby?
Raj: No. People just keep kicking me out everywhere I go.
Amy: Good. Then you're used to this. (closes the door on Raj)