Penny: All right. Hang on. We can figure this out. Let's just go over your expenses. How much is your rent?
Raj: I don't want to say.
Bernadette: Is it really that high?
Raj: I don't want to say because I don't know how much it is.
Penny: You don't how much your rent is?
Raj: My father pays for it! Do you know how much your rent is?!
Penny: Yeah.
Raj: Well, then double it, because my building's a lot nicer than this dump.

Leonard: Do you know how much your car costs?
Raj: Not really.
Howard: Well, how much do you spend on food?
Raj: The housekeeper does the shopping.
Bernadette: Oh, my God, you really are spoiled.
Raj: I'm spoiled?! Your baby has a cape that costs $300!

Amy: Are you really worried about revealing secrets to Stephen Hawking?
Sheldon: No, I was just excited to list him as a friend.

Raj: We need to talk.
Dr. Koothrappali: All right.
Raj: I have come to an important decision. I will not be accepting your money any more. I'm a man, and I can take care of myself.
Dr. Koothrappali: That's wonderful!
Raj: Yes, that is wonderful! You will no longer be able to accuse me of being spoiled!
Dr. Koothrappali: I am so proud of you.
Raj: Dad, I'm trying to tell you off, and you're ruining it with your delight and relief.

Sheldon: Excuse me. May I have your attention, please? I have recently been made aware that my personal relationship with Amy Farrah Fowler has become water cooler gossip. And I just want to say, shame on all of you. We're scientists. Our minds should be focused on the advancement of human knowledge, not the intimate details of other people's lives.
Bert: He's right. And I'm sorry for the part I played in this.
Sheldon: Thank you, Bert. You're a good man. That woman who stood you up and humiliated you last night really missed out.
Bert: That doesn't paint me in the best light.
Sheldon: Uh. Oh, I'm sorry. Correction: That woman not only had vigorous coitus with Bert, she also tipped him a dollar for a job well done. That better?
Bert: Not really.

Sheldon: All right, well, to sum up: Focus on science, keep your nose out of other people's business, and, uh, whoa, for a good time, call Bert.

Leonard: What brought that on?
Sheldon: (sighs) Well, last night Amy was angry with me because I'd been foolishly telling people about certain personal matters.
Howard: That's understandable.
Sheldon: Oh, I know that now. At first, I thought she was cranky because of her horrific menstrual cramps. It turns out, no, she was genuinely mortified.

Sheldon: So they're both trying to make each other happy, and the end result is they make each other sad? That's hilarious.

Raj: I've been plenty of times. If I miss one, it's fine. I'm a big boy.
Sheldon: I'm a big boy, and if I missed one, I'd throw a big-boy tantrum.

Raj: How bad is it?
Sheldon: Let me put it this way. Do you own a barrel and suspenders?
Raj: Are you serious?
Sheldon: I'm not wearing this visor to play women's golf.

Leonard: What is Pink Cheeks?
Raj: It's intimate waxing. Quit looking at that!

Howard: Why don't you just tell her not to come?
Leonard: Well, she's so excited, I can't do that to her.
Howard: What if you make it sound so bad she won't want to go?
Leonard: That I would do to her.

Raj: Go ahead, make jokes. I don't know why you think you're going to Comic-Con. You just had a baby.
Howard: So?
Raj: Well, so? So you think Bernadette's just gonna let you jet down to San Diego for five days and leave her alone?
Leonard: Hang on. So I have to bring Penny, you can't afford it, Howard's gonna get in trouble, and this guy gets to have a great time.
Sheldon: I'm gonna go as Dumbledore.

Howard: Well, Comic-Con tickets go on sale this Friday, and I was hoping I could go with the guys. But before you say anything, I'll make up for being gone by doing everything around here. I mean everything. I'm even gonna answer for you. (Imitating Bernadette's voice) Yes, Howard, you can go.

Leonard: This is us camping out in line for the Avengers panel.
Penny: Oh, you really sleep on the sidewalk, huh?
Leonard: Yeah. It can get chilly, but Raj figured out that if you pee in a bottle and put it in your sleeping bag, it helps keep you warm.