Leonard: Hey, Sheldon. We found something pretty interesting.
Amy: Huh. Well, that is surprising. I, for one, have no idea what they're talking about.
Leonard: Turns out, when Amy took over Penny's apartment, she was put on the lease, not you.
Penny: Yeah, and when I moved across the hall, you got taken off the lease and I got added.
Amy: Well, what are you saying? That Sheldon's not technically a tenant at all and therefore, has no standing to be president of the tenants association no matter who votes for him? I don't know how you found that out, but I am guessing all on your own.

Leonard: So, looks like we need to figure out who the new president should be. I nominate myself.
Penny: I second it.
Amy: Huh. Well, as a woman in love, I want to stand by my man. Too bad that's been rendered bureaucratically impossible.

Sheldon: But maybe you could drop me at the bottom of the mountain. I want him to think I'm cool.

Sheldon: Do you have any mail for Dr. Sheldon Cooper?
Mailman: I do, but I can't hand it right to you. I have to put it in the box.
Sheldon: And that is what separates the U.S. Postal Service from those hippies at FedEx.

Sheldon: Oh, he's invited me to his cabin for the weekend, to discuss a breakthrough he's had.
Howard: His cabin?
Sheldon: Yes. He lives off the grid, up in the mountains.
Leonard: So you're gonna go to the middle of nowhere and spend the weekend with a crazy man you've never met?
Sheldon: Yes. Why?
Leonard: No reason. Have fun.

Amy: Sheldon, what are you doing?
Sheldon: I am decoding Dr. Wolcott's letter using this book as the key. Aren't conversations more fun when they're in code?
Bernadette: Yes. But I'm using a code where "yes" means "no."

Leonard: Don't look at me. When the music stopped, you were holding Sheldon.

Penny: Why is this sleep-talking thing bothering you anyway?
Sheldon: It's simple. I don't like the idea that my mind might be keeping an entire personality from me.
Dr. Jekyll's other personality was Mr. Hyde. Mr. Hyde. Didn't have a postgraduate degree.

Raj: Okay, look, I think that she and I have more in common.
Stuart: Because you're Indian? So just 'cause she's brown, you get to date her?
Raj: Yes! And the next time we meet a woman who's pale and cadaver-like, she's all yours.

Neil Gaiman: You know, if you're interested in alternate histories, Neil Gaiman wrote one called 1602.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, we're in the middle of something here.
Neil Gaiman: It is pretty good, actually. He takes the Marvel superheroes and he puts them into Elizabethan England.
Sheldon: Let me guess, everyone thinks the X-Men are witches.
Neil Gaiman: Yeah.

Leonard: Is it me, or did we just patch a tire?
Sheldon: He said, "Never patch." Do you even listen?

Dr. Harris: Amy, I recently read your paper on lesions in the olfactory receptors in the brain. It was inspired.
Amy: Oh, well, I guess it didn't stink. But if it did, that rat wouldn't have known it.

Leonard: Fine, I'm mad. I guess I was more upset by our breakup than you.
Penny: That is not true. Of course I was upset.
Leonard: Didn't seem like it. You started dating the first tall, handsome hunk you could find.
Penny: I'm sorry, are you mad that I dated Zack or that you didn't?

Penny: Hey, this isn't your laundry night.
Sheldon: I know. Laundry on a Wednesday. It's the madness my life has become.

Sheldon: So, I-I finally came upon a bus bench where I sat and removed one of my shirts and, uh, fashioned it into a makeshift shoe. Not a waterproof shoe. That is relevant to the next part of my story, the ankle-deep puddle of warm apple juice.
Amy: Apple juice?
Sheldon: Maybe, maybe not. I'm telling myself a lot of things, Amy.