Amy: Well, as much as we've studied the brain, there's still a lot we don't know about dreams and their function. You know, even psychologists are divided on it.
Leonard: Mm, it's true. Freud thought dreams were about sex, Adler thought they were about dominance-
Penny: Then again, mine are just about being married to this little guy.
Leonard: Well, now it's just edging into mockery.

Raj: Hello. Rajesh.
Stuart: Stuart.
Ruchi: Hi. Ruchi.
Bernadette: Ruchi is my coworker. But that was probably in your briefing packet.

Sheldon: After I got the flip-flops, I realized that the tops of my feet were exposed, so, um, I put on some sunscreen, which caused my feet to become slippery. And predictably, one of them fell off and went down a sewer grate. Now, normally, I would have walked away, but this is a new, laid-back me, so, instead of getting upset, I just reached down to grab it. That's when I touched something furry which I'm telling myself was a damp toupee.

Howard: Now I'm having a son? I'll have to teach him how to play sports, and-and watch sports and-and-and-and-and-and--
Raj: He just ran out of man things. He's in trouble.

Bernadette: Howie, there's a lot of amazing things you can teach a son.
Raj: Yeah. You do always know how to pick just the right antacid.
Howard: I don't know if I can teach that. It's just something I was born with.

Sheldon: You have a replica Saturn V?
Howard: Yeah. My dad bought it before he, you know, abandoned our family.
Sheldon: Lucky duck.

Raj: Yeah, I guess I'm an astrophysicist because, as a kid, I said I like to look at the stars, so my dad sent me to Hawaii to visit the Keck telescope. Screw you. My pain is real.

Howard: Let's get going.
Sheldon: Are you gonna be this mopey all the way home?
Howard: I don't know, maybe.
Sheldon: There any chance you'd be cheered up by an amazing trigonometry riddle? (silence) Well, if you can't answer that, there's no way you're gonna get this riddle.

Bernadette: Howard's not here.
Raj: Oh, I know, he's been in the lab every night this week with his work wife.
Bernadette: That's weird, I thought his work wife was standing in my kitchen.

Leonard: Hey, what you reading?
Penny: A parenting book.
Leonard: Oh, my God. Are-are we?
Penny: Wha-- No! You think this is how I would tell you?
Leonard: Well (stammering) ... you're sitting there with a book. It felt like anything was possible.

Howard: She was talking about me, Sheldon. I'm perfectly qualified.
Bernadette: Yeah, Howie's the world's best engineer. It says so right on his coffee mug.
Penny: Aw, you got him a mug?
Raj: I did. But it's not a competition.
Bernadette: Yeah, I lost that battle years ago.

Leonard: I'll give it a go. My ride home with you was hellish.

Penny: Okay, what is going on?
Sheldon: Well, ever since Amy started working with Howard, she hasn't been home.
Penny: Didn't that just start this morning?
Sheldon: And has she been home?

Raj: You say you're busy as bees, yet here you are, dancing. Although I suppose bees do dance, but their dance lets other bees know where the pollen is, and yours does not. So my logic, despite that slight detour, does track.

Leonard: You can't think this is the right time to "validate his behavior."
Penny: Okay, what about "presenting a united front"?
Leonard: What about you coddling him and he's never gonna learn?
Penny: Look, you sound frustrated, and I'm really proud of the way you're able to state your opinion.
Leonard: Thank you. Wait, no, no. Don't use that book on me!