Penny: No, it's not that.
Bernadette: Then why?
Penny: Honestly, I don't know if I'm up to it. You know, the last project I managed was my high school yearbook.
Bernadette: And?
Penny: And that was the year we didn't have one. - And? And that was the year we didn't have one. Apparently, the printers won't make them without getting paid.
Bernadette: What happened to the money?
Penny: Uh, if I didn't know then, I'm not going to magically know now.

Sheldon: Yes. And a reminder, Penny, there's free alcohol in business class, don't abuse it.
Penny: Relax. I'm not gonna drink.
Bernadette: Why? You pregnant?
Penny: Wha-? [laughs] No. No, I just, you know, I don't like to drink when I fly.
Bernadette: Please. I've seen you drink in the shower.
Howard: You guys have showered together?
Bernadette: Sometimes you're just ech.

Penny: You know, not everyone needs to have kids to be fulfilled.
Bernadette: You're right, you've got Leonard. What more do you need?

Howard: William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard: Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard: Is that a ghost?
Raj: I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon: That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there?
Raj: Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.

Sheldon: Well, I, for one, applaud Raj's decision to forgo emotional attachment and find a life partner by bowing to a 3,000-year-old authoritarian tradition.
Leonard: What are you talking about? You married a woman you're in love with.
Sheldon: I can't believe you're throwing that back in my face.

Sheldon: Well, I hate to say it, but I think everyone is being incredibly selfish.
Amy: Well, you would be the authority on the subject.
Sheldon: What does that mean?
Amy: Sheldon, no one is happier than I am to win the Nobel. But it's not more important than our friends.
Sheldon: How can you call them friends when they're abandoning us?
Amy: They're abandoning us because you broke their hearts.
Sheldon: I didn't mean to.
Amy: I know! You never mean to. That's the only reason people tolerate you!
Sheldon: Does that include you?
Amy: Sometimes, yeah.

Sheldon: What? No knock? What's the fracas?

Penny: No, it does matter. Okay? You were right. It was Halloween. I was dressed as a cat, you were a hobbit. It was right there on that couch.
Leonard: Why didn't you just say that?
Penny: Because I always hated that was our first kiss. I was drunk, and I was still with Kurt, and I was using you to make myself feel better. I just wanted our first kiss to mean something. That's why I said it was the one on your birthday.
Leonard: I like that. We'll make that our official first kiss.

Leonard: You pick up your dresses?
Amy: Yep. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon: What about the day you met me?
Amy: I stand by my statement.

Sheldon: You're awfully quiet.
Leonard: Sorry.
Sheldon: No, I like it.
Leonard: Got a lot on my mind.
Sheldon: Would you like to talk about it?
Leonard: Not really.
Sheldon: Grape Nuts for breakfast, quiet car ride, things are really breaking my way today.

Ms. Davis: Thank you both for coming. President Siebert asked that I be a part of this conversation to help us calmly discuss what went wrong and how we can better move forward. We are not here to point fingers, so, Dr. Cooper, please stop that.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!

Raj: Well, we got into this because we both wanted to get married, and honestly, we've been dragging our feet, and I think this is the push that we need.
Bernadette: Wait, so you're gonna ask her to marry you?
Raj: Why not? We like each other, plus, we both want to start a family. Hey, I can work from anywhere, I'm an astronomer. They have stars in London, and I'm not just talking about Dame Judi Dench.
Howard: No one thought you were.
Bernadette: I thought he was.

Bernadette: Why don't you want to work with me? I know I can be tough, but that's just 'cause I'm surrounded by useless idiots.

Raj: Recently, 12 new moons were discovered orbiting Jupiter, bringing the total up to 79.
As a middle child myself, I'd like to extend my sympathies to moons two through 78. Your grandpa will never learn your name. I'd like to thank you for joining me on this journey through the stars. If you enjoyed this lecture, please come back Thursday for the exact same one.