Amy: Hey, did you guys know that Sheldon had a best friend growing up named Tam?
Leonard: Was that the imaginary talking koala?
Amy: No. He's a real person who apparently betrayed him.
Leonard: Yeah, so did the koala.

Howard: Wow. I wonder what that guy could've done to make Sheldon not talk to him for 20 years.
Leonard: I wonder if it'd work a second time.

Penny: Okay, listen, I'm really worried about this whole Raj thing.
Bernadette: I know, he's so desperate to get married, which is weird, because I can't imagine we make it look that great.
Penny: I know, right?

Howard: William Shatner, Kevin Smith. Who else could be there?
Leonard: Do you see what I see over his shoulder?
Howard: Is that a ghost?
Raj: I think it's Stuart.
Sheldon: That is Stuart. What-What's he doing there?
Raj: Maybe he died in Wil's house and he can't leave until he solves his own murder.

Bernadette: Well, I could ask my dad. Maybe he can get some of his old cop buddies to do a background check on her.
Penny: Would he do that?
Bernadette: Of course. He's a retired cop who plays by his own rules. [on the phone] Hi, Daddy. No, everything's good. I just have a favor to ask. Yeah, so, my friend Raj is marrying this woman that he barely knows, and I wanted to see if you could use your connections to dig up any dirt on her. Uh-huh. Sure. Okay. Love you.
Penny: Is he in?
Bernadette: Absolutely not. He won't do it. It's totally illegal.
Penny: I thought you said he played by his own rules.
Bernadette: He does, but apparently, they're very similar to the actual rules.

Amy: I-I'm sorry. I-I just-- I-I snapped.
President Siebert: Oh, you're sorry! It's all better then! Listen up, you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize, and you're blowing it.
Ms. Davis: I think what President Siebert is trying to say is that you have a shot to win a Nobel Prize and you're blowing it.
Sheldon: Uh, that's exactly what he said.
Ms. Davis: Yes, but I said it in my calming H.R. voice.

Leonard: You pick up your dresses?
Amy: Yep. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon: What about the day you met me?
Amy: I stand by my statement.

Raj: Wait, wait, so you don't know what their fight was about?
Georgie: I wish I could help you, boys. But, you know, Sheldon used to keep an enemies list when he was a kid.
Leonard: Oh, he still does.
Georgie: Really? I figured that went the same way as his bathroom schedule.
Howard: If you mean digitized, annotated and put online, it did.
Georgie: Maybe that'll tell you something. Hey, while you're looking at it, if I'm still on there for peeing in his shampoo bottle - Eh, you know what, just leave it.

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.

Leonard: What is up with you two?
Stuart: Well, it's kind of hard to explain. Uh, you know when things are going great, but you worry that any minute you might screw everything up?
Penny: No.
Leonard: Yes. If you really like her, you can't let fear get in the way. You have to move forward.
Stuart: And at a certain point, the fear of losing her goes away?
Leonard: I will let you know.

Mrs. Fowler: I can't believe it. All this time I've been angry at you when I should have been angry at Amy.
Sheldon: Look at that. We're both angry at Amy. Maybe that's something we could bond over. Let me ask you this: how do you feel about Howard?
Mrs. Fowler: Oh, is he that odd little friend you have with the haircut?
Sheldon: I may have married the wrong Fowler.

Denise: Okay, so walk up to that chest and push X. X. Push X.
Bernadette: Which one's X?
Denise: The one with the X on it.
Bernadette: Take it easy, I'm new at this.
Denise: What, the alphabet?

Sheldon: What? No knock? What's the fracas?

Penny: Where does Sheldon think you are?
Amy: Oh, Sheldon's kind of like a dog, he doesn't really think about me when I'm gone, but he's so happy when I show up.

Amy: Hey, good news. They're inviting several Nobel Laureates to our reception.
Sheldon: Oh, great, like who?
Amy: Uh, Makoto Kobayashi.
Sheldon: Ooh.
Amy: What?
Sheldon: Well, I may have been less than kind to him about his Nobel Prize win.
Amy: Why?
Sheldon: I was jealous, angry and new to Twitter. It was a dangerous combination.
Amy: Okay, so scratch Kobayashi.