Raj: Wait, wait, so you don't know what their fight was about?
Georgie: I wish I could help you, boys. But, you know, Sheldon used to keep an enemies list when he was a kid.
Leonard: Oh, he still does.
Georgie: Really? I figured that went the same way as his bathroom schedule.
Howard: If you mean digitized, annotated and put online, it did.
Georgie: Maybe that'll tell you something. Hey, while you're looking at it, if I'm still on there for peeing in his shampoo bottle - Eh, you know what, just leave it.

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.

Amy: The last time we were in this room, we were getting married.
Sheldon: I remember. It's a lot less impressive without Mark Hamill in it.
Amy: That's what you said about our honeymoon.
Sheldon: And I stand by it.

Bernadette: My dad and I watched you win back-to-back championships.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: And I watched you sniff Joe's hair when he wasn't looking.

Leonard: I'm glad you guys made up.
Sheldon: Well, I realized my life turned out great, and it's silly to hold a grudge.
Tam: And I had no idea we were fighting, so it was easy.

Sheldon: You know, spending time with Michael and Halley today really made me think about our future children.
Amy: Huh, what an interesting and completely unforeseen development.

Leonard: Sheldon, that was really rude.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing.
Leonard: It's just a haircut and some clothes.
Sheldon: No, it's the last straw! I can't take any more! [elevator bell dings]
Penny: Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator.

Sheldon: When I moved to California, what did you do?
Tam: I stayed in Texas.
Sheldon: Do you believe this guy?!

Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Leonard: Okay, what would you do?
President Siebert: I'd find some sap and put him in charge so I wouldn't have to be the bad guy.
Leonard: That's a really good id-- Oh.

Amy: I should've seen this coming.
Raj: Oh, stop. You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. You know, like maybe 300 tiny haircuts over a ten-year period.

Penny: Tam, look. Sheldon's hugging me.
Tam: It's a Saturnalia miracle.

Sheldon: Howard, today is your lucky day. Leonard's out, you're my new best friend. Well, I'm not thrilled about it either, but here we are. Okay, fine. Is Bernadette there? Sh- No? Just Stuart? Let me call you back.

Sheldon: You know we're almost finished with our paper; we just need help tracking down the citations.
Leonard: That's busywork. Can't you just get a grad student to do it?
Amy: No, this paper is incredibly important to us, and we need someone we can trust.
Please, it would mean a lot.
Leonard: You know what? Sure. The three of us in the library looking up old papers, that actually could be kind of fun.
Sheldon: Oh, no, we won't be there.
Leonard: It just got more fun.

Amy: My mom thinks that Sheldon is the reason I don't spend a lot of time with her.
Penny: Well, why would she think that?
Amy: Because I told her. You need a cup of coffee? Wake up!