Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob!

Penny: You can't let her get into your head.
Leonard: It's too late for me, my head is her summer house.

Howard: Mock me if you will, but it works. You show up at a club in something distinctive, scope out your target and toss out some negs.
Raj: What are negs?
Howard: A neg is a negative compliment that throws a pretty woman off her game. Like "Normally, I'm not turned on by big teeth, but on you, they work." I've got a whole list of em. Who wants to be my wingman?
Leonard: You're not gonna need wingman, you're gonna need a paramedic.

Barry Kripke: Tell you what. Forget the SCRFLRRI, let's settle this roboto-a-roboto. There's no guarantee we're going to go against each other in the round robin, so let's throw down. You know, unless you're afraid.

Mrs. Wolowitz Who is it?
Howard: It's Leonard.
Mrs. Wolowitz You're gonna have to play outside. I'm not dressed to receive!

Sheldon: Doesn't anyone wanna know where he's going?
Penny: Okay, where is he going?
Sheldon: Leonard is going to the office.

Penny: We're putting the play on for one night in this little 99-seat theater. Can you come? Oh great! Do you know 98 other people that might want to come?

Leonard: Thanks for closed captioning my pain, Raj.

Raj: I'm telling you, Leonard, video slot machines, free drinks brought to us by a bosomy barmaid and all you can eat shrimp for $3.95. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Penny: Since when do we offer one day rush?
Leonard: Amazon offers one day rush.
Penny: Yeah, but they don't have to glue the books together!

DMV Worker: Here's your learner's permit. Go away.
Sheldon: But I'm not done. I have many additional concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Don't make me climb over this counter!

Sheldon: Did Han Solo let Luke Skywalker freeze to death on the Planet Hoth? No, he opened a Ton Ton to keep his body temperature from plummeting.
Howard: You heard the man, hold him down and I'll cut him open.

Penny: What are you saying? That I'm using my body to get dinner? That I'm some sort of Chinese food prostitute?

Sheldon: Excuse me, but the problem is not solved. If your head had been accidentally amputated and we transplanted a dog's head in its place, would that be problem solved?
Leonard: If it were your head it would be.

Sheldon: What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?