Mrs. Cooper: By His hand we are all
Sheldon: Fed.
Mrs. Cooper: Give us, Lord, our daily
Sheldon: Bread.
Mrs. Cooper: Please know that we are truly
Sheldon: Grateful.
Mrs .Cooper: For every cup and every
Sheldon: Plateful.
Mrs. Cooper: Amen.

Raj: I know they're poison, but they look like big, yummy otter pops.

Sheldon: Howard?
Howard: Yeah?
Sheldon: Your shoes are delightful, where did you get them?
Howard: What?
Sheldon: Bazinga! I don't care.

Penny: How is that not talking to me like I'm an idiot? It's my friend, it's my couch, and it's my freakin' life!
Sheldon: It's also your roll.

Bernadette: Come here, tushie face.
Leonard: Tushie face! That is going on twitter right now.

Zack: Is that the laser? It's bitchin'.
Sheldon: Yes. In 1917, when Albert Einstein established the theoretic foundation for the laser in his paper "Zur Quantentheorie der Strahlung", his fondest hope was that the resultant device be bitchin'.
Zack: Well, mission accomplished!

Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Howard: Hope you don't mind, I told my girlfriend, Bernadette, she can join us for dinner.
Leonard: Sure, the more the merrier.
Sheldon: Wait, no. That's a false equivalency. More does not equal merry. If there was 2000 people in this apartment right now, would we be celebrating? No, we'd be suffocating.

Penny: Hay Leonard, check this out. * Throws won-ton in the air and catches it in her mouth *
Sheldon: Leonard, she's doing it again.
Leonard: I think it upsets Sheldon when you play with the food.
Sheldon: No, it upsets Sheldon when she willy-nilly takes it from the containers with out guard of equitable distribution. * Turns to Raj * This is essentially why you have famine in India.
Penny: You want me to put it back? *Said with mouth full of food *
Sheldon: Leonard!
Leonard: It upsets Sheldon when you play with the Sheldon.

Penny: Wow, Sheldon, I cannot believe you made up your own game.
Sheldon: Oh, Research Lab is more than just a game. It's like the slogan says, the physics is theoretical, but the fun is real.

Sheldon: What's the sixth noble gas?
Leonard: Uh, radon?
Sheldon: Are you asking me or telling me?
Leonard: Telling you?
(Sheldon gives Leonard a stern look)
Leonard: Telling you.

Crawley: Ha-ha. Don't knock, just walk in. Why be polite to the world's leading expert on the dung beetle?

Howard: Could you look at Toby?
Crawley: Toby? What a stupid name for a cricket.
Sheldon: (To Howard) Told you.

Sheldon: I just want you both to know, when I publish my findings, I won't forget your contributions.
Howard: Great.
Sheldon: Of course, I can't mention you in my Nobel acceptance speech. But, when I get around to writing my memoirs, you can expect a very effusive footnote and perhaps a signed copy.

Sheldon: You fellas are planning a party for me, aren't you?
Howard: Okay, Sheldon, sit down.
Sheldon: If there's going to be a theme, I should let you know that I don't care for luau, toga, or under the sea.