Sheldon: On the contrary I find the Grinch to be a relatable and engaging character. And I was really with him, right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention, returned the presents and saved Christmas.

Sheldon: There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Leonard: I haven't seen him this stuck since he tried to figure out the third Matrix movie.

Sheldon: Have you chosen one to copulate with?

Abby: Hey that's pretty cool, what is it?
Sheldon: It's a limited edition Green Lantern lantern. My friend is looking for someone to copulate with.
Abby: You're very funny. I'm Abby.

Penny: This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. *runs off*
Sheldon: Penny, wait, come back. I'll get you ice cream!

Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

Bernadette: (To Sheldon) Brush your teeth and go to bed!

Raj: I'm telling you, dude. The only way to feel better about Penny going out with other guys is for you to get back on the whores.

Leonard: Can I sleep on your couch tonight?
Penny: Well, you can try. But the neighbors across the hall are being very noisy.
Leonard: Oh, you heard that, huh?
Penny: Yeah, apparently the one fella changed the thermostat, and then the other fella went bat-crap crazy.

Sheldon: I didn't want to upset you. Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.
Leonard: Is it possible he said Bros before Hos?
Sheldon: Yes, but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.

Raj: I wonder what the non-pathetic people are doing tonight.

Zack: One question. How can you be sure it won't blow up?
Leonard: The laser?
Zack: The moon.

Sheldon: I assure you, you'll be sorry that you wasted your money on an iPod when Microsoft comes out with theirs.
Rajesh: Do you have an opinion about everything?
Sheldon: Yes.
Howard: And you just assume you're right?
Sheldon: It's not an assumption.

Sheldon: When was the last time you had your menstrual cycle?
Penny: Oh, I'm not answering that Sheldon.
Sheldon: I'm going to say in progress.