Sheldon: (To a policeman) They took our TV, two laptops, four external hard-drives, our PS2, our PS3, our X-Box, our X-Box 360, our classic Nintendo, our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.
Leonard: We like games.
Sheldon: Right, games. They took Halo 1, Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1, Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3, Rock Band, Rock Band 2, Final Fantasy 1 thru 9, The Legend of Zelda, The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy, Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics and Ms. Pacman.
Policeman: (Writing down) Assorted video games.

Wil Wheaton: Hey look, they named their team after me!

Sheldon: Would you like me to bring you some warm milk?
Leonard: I'm lactose intolerant.
Sheldon: And you don't wish to alarm me with any more loud noises. Very thoughtful.

Sheldon: You know, the more I think about it, the mobster sauce couldn't possible contain chunks of mobster.
Leonard: And why is that?
Sheldon: It was listed under sea food.

Beverly Hofstadter: Your check engine light is on.
Penny: Yeah, I gotta put a sticker over that. So, you must be devastated about your divorce?
Beverly Hofstadter: Oh, not at all. Though I am a bit distressed to be a in vehicle that's not subjected to regular maintenance.

Sheldon: And you can start sorting protons and neutrons while I build carbon atoms!
Leonard: No, I don't think so. We need to go home now.
Sheldon: But I'm still working!
Leonard: If you don't come out of there, I'm gonna have to drag you out.
Sheldon: You can try, but you'll never catch me.
Leonard: Oh for God's sake. Sheldon, come here.
Sheldon: Bazinga!

Penny: Warp speed ahead, Mr. Spock.
Sheldon: Mr. Spock did not pilot the Enterprise. He was the science officer. And I guarantee you that if he saw the Enterprise's "Check Engine" light blinking, he would pull the ship over immediately.

Sheldon: Question: Where are my Pants?

Sheldon: That's an inexact parallel. You and Leonard can always return to being friends, whereas I can never return to a state in which Wolowitz has not bested me like Mrs. Riley's chicken.
Penny: What's Mrs. Riley's chicken?
Sheldon: A chicken that was owned by Mrs. Riley.
Penny: Okay, forget the chicken.
Sheldon: Well, I wish I could.

Raj: No, no, no, no! That rate is much too low for what we'd expect from this collision. Do you understand that we're talking about dark matter colliding in outer space?
Sheldon: Of course I understand. And who are you to tell me about outer space?
Raj: I'm the astrophysicist. Astro means space.
Sheldon: Astro means star.
Raj: Okay, well, let me just tell you, if we were having this argument in my native language, I'd be kicking your butt.
Sheldon: English is your native language.

Leonard: Uh, sleep night. I mean, obviously, good night. I started to say sleep tight then I changed my mind in the middle. I swear to God, I'm smart.
Sheldon: Get it together, man.

Sheldon: And look over here, "shrimp in mobster sauce". What is mobster sauce?
Leonard: It's obviously a typo.
Sheldon: Perhaps. Perhaps this restaurant's now a front for organized crime. For all we know, the mobster sauce contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.
Raj: No, no, no, no. I think it just means it's the kind of sauce that mobsters like.
Howard: It doesn't mean any of that. It's a typo!

Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Penny: Oh, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Sheldon: Yes, amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I am here in the laundry room.

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard! What are you doing in there?
Howard: I'm taking a bath.
Mrs. Wolowitz: I hope that's all you're doing, we share that tub.
Howard: Don't remind me.

Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.