Leonard: Sorry.
Priya: For what?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just it's my go to response.

Leonard: "Leonard, call me if you're interested in coitus. Sincerely, Maggie McGeary."
Sheldon: And if anyone were to actually call that number, they will hear this: "Top of the mornin' to you. You've reached Maggie McGeary. Leave a message after the wee little beep."

Sheldon: And here is the clincher, a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair.
Leonard: Where did you get that?
Sheldon: From an orangutan in the primate lab.
Leonard: An orangutan?
Sheldon: Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard. Honestly, you over think everything.

Raj: Hey guys, guess who I found at LAX. My baby sister Priya.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I object. You propose a guessing game, yet you don't give me enough time to guess. For the record, I was going to say your sister Priya.

Priya: Oh, Sheldon. You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Sheldon: Why would I change?
Leonard: The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion.

Leonard: So, Priya, what brings you back to LA?
Priya: I have a one day layover on my way to Toronto. Corporate merger.
Raj: Can you believe it? Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys for the biggest car company in India.
Sheldon: Given that when we met her she was finishing law school and planning an internship at a large Indian car company, it's actually extremely plausible.
Leonard: And your poll numbers just keep dropping.

Howard: Hey, I've got a girlfriend now.
Raj: Oh please. My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it.
Howard: Let's just agree theyre both hot.
Raj: Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

Howard: Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to LA, Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship, and to you, that neither of us would hit on her.
Raj: Did you pinky swear?
Howard: Yes.
Raj: Okay then.

Leonard: So, what are talking about?
Raj: Uh, my plans with Priya.
Sheldon: He rejected train day.
Leonard: Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars turned into hot dog stands?
Sheldon: Abundantly.
Leonard: I guess he just hates fun.

Sheldon: You are in a forest. There is quicksand to the west, a path leads to the east. Go east. An iron gate blocks your way. Open gate. It's locked. Hmm, well, so much for that.
Leonard: It's getting pretty late, how come you're still up?
Sheldon: I've found an emulator online that lets you play classic text based computer games from the 1980s.
Leonard: That's pretty cool.
Sheldon: Oh yes. It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip, imagination.
Leonard: You've really got to get out more.

Priya: Can't you get rid of him?
Leonard: If the past is any indication, no.

Sheldon: Leonard, I'm trapped in quicksand. The axe is dragging me down.
Leonard: Drop axe.
Sheldon: Drop axe. Brilliant!

Sheldon: Who was at the door?
Leonard: Oh, uh, building manager. They have to fix a pipe so the water will be off tomorrow from noon to two.
Sheldon: That's unacceptable. We're supposed to be given written notice.
Leonard: No, no, it doesn't matter, we'll be at work.
Sheldon: Well, what if I spill tomato soup on my shirt and have to come home to change, only to find there's no water for an enzyme soak.
Leonard: Bifurcated uvula, Sheldon!
Sheldon: I'll have the chicken noodle. Goodnight.

Leonard: I wish you could stay in LA a while longer.
Priya: Mmm. Me too.
Leonard: You know, I was thinking, there are some great research facilities in India.
Priya: Where are you going with this, Leonard?
Leonard: Well, I'm just saying, I don't have any real ties here, so if I were to move to New Delhi we could, you know, go out.
Priya: Leonard, didn't we have this conversation five years ago.
Leonard: Well, yes, but, things have changed. You know, you're older, I'm older. Look, no more superhero bedsheets.

Sheldon: (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard. (Knock, knock, knock) Leonard.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: I heard a woman laughing.
Leonard: Oh, uh, yeah, I was trying to see if I could laugh as a woman.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, good job, quite convincing. I smell perfume.
Leonard: Air freshener.
Sheldon: And is that lipstick on your cheek and neck.
Leonard: Uh, rash, that's a bad rash.
Sheldon: My sympathies. I am no stranger to the crimson scourge that is dermatitis. Can I interest you in a topical steroid from my lotion and unguent collection?
Leonard: Uh, yeah, yeah, that sounds great.
Sheldon: Very well, I'm sure I can find something that will help you ditch that itch.