Leonard: Well, I'm off to meet Bernadette's friend. How do I look?
Sheldon: As if one of the plants from Invasion of the Body Snatchers duplicated you in every way, only with an absurd amount of hair gel.

Leonard: What are you working on?
Sheldon: I'm removing my digital footprint from the Internet so Amy Farrah Fowler can't find me and compel me to meet her mother.
Leonard: Ah, you're going off the grid.
Sheldon: Exactly.
Leonard: The old Unabomber approach. Kudos.

Amy: I believe a misunderstanding may have occurred when I asked you to meet my mother.
Sheldon: No misunderstanding. I've learned what that request actually means, and I don't want to be joined to another object by an inclined plane wrapped helically around an axis.
Amy: In what way are you screwed?

Amy: I trust this clarification allows us to return to boy-slash-friend-slash-girl-slash-friend status.
Sheldon: Of course. Would you like to join me for Chinese food?
Amy: Sheldon, please, you're suffocating me.
Sheldon: My apologies. Good night, Amy.
Amy: Good night, Sheldon.

Howard: I have a girlfriend now.
Priya: Hey, good for you.
Howard: Yeah, I just wanna put it out there in case I inadvertently squirt any pheromones in your direction.

Leonard: Sorry.
Priya: For what?
Leonard: I don't know. When I'm in bed with a girl, it's just it's my go to response.

Leonard: "Leonard, call me if you're interested in coitus. Sincerely, Maggie McGeary."
Sheldon: And if anyone were to actually call that number, they will hear this: "Top of the mornin' to you. You've reached Maggie McGeary. Leave a message after the wee little beep."

Sheldon: And here is the clincher, a lock of Maggie's flaming auburn hair.
Leonard: Where did you get that?
Sheldon: From an orangutan in the primate lab.
Leonard: An orangutan?
Sheldon: Well, no one's going to run a DNA test on it, Leonard. Honestly, you over think everything.

Raj: Hey guys, guess who I found at LAX. My baby sister Priya.
Sheldon: Excuse me. I object. You propose a guessing game, yet you don't give me enough time to guess. For the record, I was going to say your sister Priya.

Priya: Oh, Sheldon. You haven't changed a bit, have you?
Sheldon: Why would I change?
Leonard: The hope has been that you'd eventually bend to public opinion.

Leonard: So, Priya, what brings you back to LA?
Priya: I have a one day layover on my way to Toronto. Corporate merger.
Raj: Can you believe it? Little Priya's one of the lead attorneys for the biggest car company in India.
Sheldon: Given that when we met her she was finishing law school and planning an internship at a large Indian car company, it's actually extremely plausible.
Leonard: And your poll numbers just keep dropping.

Howard: Hey, I've got a girlfriend now.
Raj: Oh please. My sister's much hotter than your girlfriend and you know it.
Howard: Let's just agree theyre both hot.
Raj: Dude, that's my sister you're talking about.

Howard: Okay, forget who's hotter. The first time Priya came to LA, Leonard and I made a pact out of respect to our friendship, and to you, that neither of us would hit on her.
Raj: Did you pinky swear?
Howard: Yes.
Raj: Okay then.

Leonard: So, what are talking about?
Raj: Uh, my plans with Priya.
Sheldon: He rejected train day.
Leonard: Did you make it clear that it's two different train cars turned into hot dog stands?
Sheldon: Abundantly.
Leonard: I guess he just hates fun.

Sheldon: You are in a forest. There is quicksand to the west, a path leads to the east. Go east. An iron gate blocks your way. Open gate. It's locked. Hmm, well, so much for that.
Leonard: It's getting pretty late, how come you're still up?
Sheldon: I've found an emulator online that lets you play classic text based computer games from the 1980s.
Leonard: That's pretty cool.
Sheldon: Oh yes. It runs on the world's most powerful graphics chip, imagination.
Leonard: You've really got to get out more.