Sheldon: I've got a brand-new seven piece set of polyhedral dice. Hello, new dice smell.
Leonard: I've got my helm of lordly might, my boots of speed, and if things get too exciting, my inhaler of asthma.
Raj: I got my new bloodthirsty savage warrior who will lay waste to all who stand before him. And I had a sensible salad for lunch, so I can eat all the pizza I want.
Howard: Come on, are we gonna sit around chatting like a bunch of teenage girls, or are we gonna play D&D like a bunch of teenage boys who are never gonna have sex with those teenage girls?

Amy: I got some old underwear I'm gonna throw on stage at the Garth Brooks concert.
Penny: I'm sorry, why old?
Amy: 'Cause last time I saw him, I threw new ones and it got me nothing.

Howard: The ladies are away, the boys will play.
Raj: Anything can happen.
Leonard: It's gonna get crazy.
Sheldon: Dungeons & Dragons!

Bernadette: Burbank Airport, please.
Penny: Vegas, here we come.
Bernadette: No husbands, no boyfriends, no rules.
Amy: No rules? We're not gonna get drunk and have a six way with the Blue Man Group, are we?
Penny: No.
Amy: So there are some rules.
Bernadette: Fine. No husbands, no boyfriends, some rules.
Amy: Thank you. Vegas!

Raj: Yes, you hit some bumps along the way. I mean, Penny, you've always known how this man has felt about you, but you made him grovel for affection.
Penny: Okay, hold on...
Raj: Now, dont blame yourself. He was a groveler from way back. But the point is, the two of you got past it. And, Leonard, you go and propose to this poor girl in the middle of sex? That was some weak tea, dude.
Leonard: Some people might say it was romantic.
Raj: Yeah, no. But yet, here you two are, still together. And that's even after you and I had our crazy naked night.

Raj: I'm just saying that after everything you've been through, you get to look into each other's eyes and say "I love you." And that's beautiful.
Leonard: Actually, to this day, she's never really said it.
Raj: Oh, Penny. That's ridiculous. You know you love him. You, you look him in the eyes and you say it.
Penny: Raj.
Raj: Oh come on, you know you want to say it. Say it. Say you love him. Say it!

Stuart: A little music?
Raj: Sure. Mmm, bossa nova. You listen to that with your hips as well as your ears.
Stuart: Mmm.
Raj: Oh. Something about Latin music just makes me feel like I'm on a white sand beach in Rio.
Stuart: Yeah. The sun, the waves, the beautiful bodies, tanned and glistening with sweat.
Raj: I should go.

Raj: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: Yeah?
Raj: Do you want to hang out tomorrow night, maybe grab a bite to eat or catch a late movie?
Stuart: Yeah, I'd like to, but I'm a little tight on funds.
Raj: No problem. My treat. I'll swing by after work.
Stuart: Okay.
Raj: Okay.
(After Raj leaves)
Stuart: I could do worse.

Amy: I don't understand. What's he doing here?
Sheldon: I invited him.
Amy: On our date? Sheldon, that's not okay.
Sheldon: Yes, it is. There's a loophole in the Relationship Agreement.
Amy: You found a loophole?

Penny: Gosh, I worked my ass off today. This is exactly what I needed.
Leonard: Great. Just relax and enjoy. Tonight is all about you.
Penny: Aw, thank you.
Leonard: So, where exactly are we in this relationship?
Penny: Oh, come on.

Leonard: I just know the longer we wait to talk about it, the weirder it gets.
Penny: Sweetie, can I just be the girl tonight?
Leonard: Absolutely. You're the girl, I'm the guy. Now, you watch your football game while I make you a little plate here.

Dimitri: Hey, Froot Loops. You got a phone call.
Howard: Who is it?
Dimitri: A woman who says she's your mother but sounds like your father.

Raj: Oh, I'm having the nicest time. You guys are like family to me. You know that, right?
Leonard: That's great. Get out.
Raj: What? Why?
Leonard: Penny and I have some issues we need to talk about.
Raj: Oh, pish on your issues. You guys are fine.

Howard: Okay. Okay, I know you're upset, but let me share something I've learned since I got here. You realize how small your problems are when you're looking down on them from space. Now, come on, that's got to make you feel better.
Bernadette: How clear is the image of me on that screen?
Howard: Pretty clear.
Bernadette: Do I look like I feel better?
Howard: I mean, it's not, like, HD quality.

Bernadette: Listen, mister, you're gonna talk to your mother and you're gonna fix this, or that thing I said I was gonna do to you the minute you got home, you can do to yourself.
Dimitri: Like he's been doing since he got here.