Sheldon: How about one of the most beguiling and influential couples of the 20th century? Hewlett and Packard. Dibs on Hewlett.
What? You want to be Hewlett?

Penny: So, what ya doing? Better not be building a robot girlfriend.
Leonard: No. Although Howard was making some real strides in that area until he met Bernadette.
Penny: You're kidding.
Leonard: Nope. Now the Lisatronic 3000 just sits in a box waiting for the phone to ring.

Leonard: It's kind of crazy. I've never fooled around in the lab before.
Penny: Really? Never?
Leonard: No. I did have a shot with the Lisatronic, but the extension cord wasn't long enough.

Leonard: Oh, you don't have any jewelry on, do you?
Penny: No. Why?
Leonard: A grad student forgot to take out one of his piercings. Now he's on a transplant list waiting for a nipple his size.

Sheldon: A Tardis makes no sense. It's a time machine from a science-fiction show. it has nothing to do with Halloween. That being said, if you don't get a Tardis, you stink and your party stinks.

Raj: Hey, Stuart, I see you're getting ready for your Halloween party.
Stuart: Yeah, it's my annual attempt to meet women. Ninth time's the charm.

Raj: You know, you don't worry about money. Ill take care of everything.
Stuart: Really?
Raj: Yeah, youll love it. Ain't no party like a Koothra-party.

Howard: But you know what wasn't a party? That hotel in Kazakhstan they put you up in before the launch. I mean, it's your last night on Earth. You'd think you'd get one porn channel.
Leonard: Have you noticed that Howard can take any topic and use it to remind you that he went to space?
Sheldon: Interesting hypothesis. Let's apply the scientific method, perform an experiment.
Leonard: Okay. Hey, Howard, any thoughts on where we should get dinner?
Howard: Anywhere but the Space Station. On a good day, dinner was a bag full of meat loaf. But, hey, you dont go there for the food, you go there for the view.
Sheldon: It's fascinating. Let me see if I can duplicate the result. Howard, I've always thought the lemon was an underrated fruit. Care to weigh in?
Howard: Not really.
Sheldon: Oh, well.
Howard: You know, people say the Soyuz capsule was a lemon. But, hey, that baby got me to space and back.

Amy: Ladies night at the Cheesecake Factory. Does it get any better than this?
Penny: I hope so.
Amy: Question. Do you think your husband's fondness for turtlenecks is an expression of longing for his missing foreskin?
Penny: It's not getting any better.

Penny: Ugh, it's Leonard. He wants to go costume shopping later.
Bernadette: I thought you liked Halloween.
Penny: I do, it's just he wants to go to that party at the comic book store. A lot of the guys that hang out there are kind of creepy.
Bernadette: Like my husband?
Amy: And my boyfriend?
Penny: I'm-I'm sorry. Amy, you were saying something about Howard's foreskin?

Penny: I guess I could probably try a little harder.
Bernadette: You could start by taking an interest in his work.
Penny: Yeah, that's kind of a problem.
Amy: Why?
Penny: Not really clear on what he does.
Bernadette: He's an experimental physicist.
Penny: Yeah, I'm not really clear on what that means.
Amy: He takes hypotheses and designs protocols to determine their accuracy.
Penny: Yeah, you're really just making it worse.

Amy: So, listen, Sheldon, I was thinking, since this is gonna be our first Halloween party as boyfriend and girlfriend, I thought it might be fun for us to go in a couples costume.
Sheldon: I couldn't agree more.
Amy: Really? I find that inconsistent with everything I know about you.

Amy: Sheldon, when I said couples costume, I meant like Romeo and Juliet or Cinderella and Prince Charming, not two robots from some silly movie I don't even like.
Sheldon: Okay, I'm gonna let that slide because I know you're hopped up on tea bags.

Leonard: Oh, no, no, no, don't look in there.
Penny: What, is it secret?
Leonard: No, it's a nitrogen laser. It'll cook your eyeball like a soft-boiled egg.
Penny: Oh. You might want to put a sign on it.
Leonard: Sign right there.
Penny: Ah. Danger. Sure, sure.

Penny: So, what are you working on right now?
Leonard: It's actually pretty neat.
Penny: Yeah?
Leonard: Yeah. It's a front-projected holographic display combined with laser-based finger tracking. Here, I'll show you. We'll just put this pencil over here.
Penny: Sharp. Thanks to the machine we saw earlier.