Howard: What?
Bernadette: Howie, I know you went to space. I'm incredibly proud of you. But you might want to try and not bring it up every minute.
Howard: I don't talk about it every minute.
Bernadette: Tonight at dinner you went on bout it for an hour straight.
Howard: What was I supposed to talk about? We were eating at Johnny Rockets.

Penny: Whoa! That is very cool.
Leonard: Sometimes I like to turn this on and pretend I'm the super villain Magneto.
Penny: Getting a little less cool, Leonard.
Leonard: But what I really am is a very smart scientist who understands the mechanics of the universe and is wearing the sexy black underwear you bought him.
Penny: There we go.

Raj: Oh, by the way, can I borrow your bull-whip and fedora?
Howard: Yeah, sure, whatever.
Raj: I was thinking of dressing up as Indiana Jones' mocha-skinned love child, Indian Jones.

Sheldon: What if we were to go as dinner table favourites salt and pepper?
Amy: You know salt makes me retain water and my cousin William was ground to death in a pepper factory accident.

Amy: How about Raggedy Ann and Andy? I loved them growing up.
Sheldon: No, I don't think so. Those dolls represent three things I do not care for: clowns, children and raggedness. I think it's a lost cause.

Bernadette: How do I look?
Howard: Fine.
Bernadette: Uh-oh, is someone a little blue? Come on, Howie, thats like the funniest thing I've ever said in my life.

Howard: To tell you the truth, I'm not really in the mood.
Bernadette: What are you talking about? It'll be fun. All your friends'll be there.
Howard: Yeah, some friends. They all think I'm boring. Maybe you should go without me.
Bernadette: No, if I'm there alone, people might think I'm just a really short person from Avatar.

Howard: I'm sorry. I just don't want to go.
Bernadette: Hey, I just spent the last three hours colouring myself blue. I'm gonna be washing paint out of my Smurf for a month!

Penny: Oh, my God, you guys look adorable.
Bernadette: Thanks, so do you. Slutty cop?
Penny: No, sexy cop. Slutty cop only came with a skirt and two badges.
Bernadette: And Albert Einstein?
Leonard: Ja, und later zhe's going to arrest me for goinc fashter zan da shpeed of light.
Penny: I thought we said in the car, no accents?
Leonard: Sorry, Officer.

Howard: You're my wife. You're supposed to be on my side.
Bernadette: I'm always on your side.
Howard: Then why are you trying to take this away from me? Being an astronaut is the coolest thing I'm ever gonna do. If I stop talking about it, then I'm just...
Bernadette: Just what?
Howard: Just plain old Howard Wolowitz again.
Bernadette: Plain old Howard Wolowitz is the best guy I know.
Howard: You're just saying that.
Bernadette: No, I'm not. I married him. On purpose. Come here.
Howard: I love you.
Bernadette: I love you, too.

Amy: Wow, my boyfriend is friends with Stephen Hawking and my new dandruff shampoo doesn't smell like tar. Everything really is coming up Amy.

Leonard: It's like when I started doing chin-ups. I didn't want you to see until I could do one. FYI, really close.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen's homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Penny: I have no reason to ... "B" mad at you. Minus.
Leonard: Wow.
Penny: That's right. On my paper. Not yours, mine, you punk-ass elf.

Bernadette: So, I was taking a shower this morning, and when I got out, I started to dry off with what I thought was a towel but turned out to be Howard's mom's underwear. I had to take another shower. It wasn't enough. Nothing will ever be enough.