Bernadette: Why do you have a history textbook?
Penny: No, it's not a big deal. Just taking a class at the Pasadena Community College.
Bernadette: Thats great. I didn't know you wanted to go back to school.
Penny: It's just one history class. Look, I didn't finish college, so I thought I would give it a try.
Amy: Not to mention, your acting career is going south like Sherman. Read about it in your book.

Bernadette: Why would you be embarrassed to tell us?
Penny: No, I'm not embarrassed. I just didn't want anyone to know because I haven't told Leonard yet.
Amy: Why wouldn't you tell Leonard?
Penny: Because it's me going back to school, and he's gonna be all "You can do it!" and "How can I help?" and "I'm so proud of you". Ugh!

Bernadette: I just can't believe you could keep something like that from him.
Amy: You guys have got to be the weirdest couple I know.
Penny: Really? You can't think of anyone weirder?
Amy: I can, but she's sitting right there.

Sheldon: It is glorious. One of the greatest intellects of our time has agreed to engage with me in a gentlemanly battle of wits. And I'm spanking him so hard his grad students won't be able to sit down.

Amy: You know, when one male dominates another, his testosterone level rises.
Sheldon: What's your point?
Amy: It's exciting to think you might be getting a testosterone level.

Penny: Okay, listen, there's something I need to tell you. I've been thinking about going back to school for a while now. So a couple months ago, I started taking a history class at the community college.
Leonard: Oh. That's great. Great, great, great. Why wait so long to tell me?
Penny: I don't want you to make a big deal out of it.
Leonard: Why do you think I'd be like that? I get it, you're taking one class. It's nice. Maybe if it goes well, you take another, you enroll full-time. Ooh, be sure to keep an eye on which credits transfer to a four-year college.
Penny: You're making it a big deal.
Leonard: Sorry. (nonchalantly) Whatever. It's all good.

Amy: I feel like I'm in high school again.
Bernadette: Yeah, doing the prom queen’s homework so she'll like us.
Amy: I know. It's finally working.

Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags. Before we get started, I'd like to announce the winner of our design your own flag competition. But I can't. The only entry was from GameyGamer75, and I know that was a jpeg of your buttocks.

Sheldon: Now this week we have a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. And to help me, I'm pleased to introduce Internet personality, former star of Star Trek: The Next Generation, and the only guy I know lucky enough to be immortalized in one sixteenth scale. Set phasers to fun for my friend, Wil Wheaton.

Wil Wheaton: Hi, Sheldon. Thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here.
Amy: Cut.
Sheldon: What's wrong?
Amy: Sorry, Sheldon, you were brilliant as always. Wil, that was a little wooden.
Wil Wheaton: Wooden?
Amy: Don’t worry, it wasn't terrible. Just, this time, try to say it the way people sound.

Wil Wheaton: Listen, Sheldon, I'm really happy to do this for you, but not if she's gonna be a huge pain in the ass the whole time.
Amy: You gonna let him speak to me like that?
Sheldon: Well, you're my girlfriend and I don't want you to be upset. Then again, Wil Wheaton's my friend and I don't want him to be upset. Hmm, this is a sticky wicket. (To Wil) What do you think?

Bernadette: Every time we eat dinner here, your mother refuses to let me help with the dishes.
Howard: Don't take it personally. She likes doing them by herself so she can lick the plates with no one looking.

Bernadette: You ready to go?
Howard: Yeah, let me just grab a couple of fresh turtlenecks.
Bernadette: I don't understand why you keep your stuff here when there's plenty of room at home.
Howard: What are you talking about? All I have here is a few sweaters, books, bank stuff, computers, mail, collectibles, medicine and my electric body groomer. Ooh, there's my plaid dickie. Oh, got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. Can you believe it?
Bernadette: 50 cents sounds right.

Leonard: Hey, look who's out after dark, like a big boy.
Sheldon: I was out raising heck with Mr. Wil Wheaton. Four hours more and we would have closed down the HomeTown Buffet.
Leonard: I thought you had plans with Amy.
Sheldon: Yeah, I did, but then Wil called Amy a pain in the A-S-S. She got huffy and left, then Wil and I headed out to dinner. That place really did remind me of my hometown. Because there we also have a HomeTown Buffet.

Sheldon: I've been thinking about what happened, and I hope this gift will make things better.
Amy: Star Trek DVDs? Why would I want this?
Sheldon: First of all, you're welcome. And furthermore, not being familiar with Wil Wheaton's body of work, there was no way for you to know you were being rude to a national treasure. Get ready for 130 hours of I told you so. (Amy returns the DVDs and slams the door) Fine. I'll just tell you what happens. Episode one, Encounter at Farpoint. Fade in. The new Enterprise heads out on its maiden voyage to contact the Bandi people of Deneb IV. Enter Wesley Crusher, played by my buddy ... (Amy opens the door, grabs the DVDs, and slams the door again) She's hooked.