Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. Welcome to Sheldon Cooper Presents Fun with Flags. Get ready for a very special episode where we explore the flags of the popular entertainment franchise, Star Trek. And to help us, I’m pleased to introduce a special guest, surprisingly, it only took gas money and the promise of free food to get him here, Mr. LeVar Burton.
LeVar Burton: Hey, Sheldon, it's a pleasure to be here. Well, we've got some interesting flags for-
Amy: Cut. Yikes, this guy is worse than Wil Wheaton.

Raj: Ooh, this is exciting. Like one of my classic murder mystery dinner parties.
Leonard: Right, the case of who murdered three Saturday nights of my life?
Howard: Colonel Koothrappali in the kitchen with the olive spread.
Raj: It was tapenade and you guys suck.

Penny: Look, he just moved here from London, okay? He doesn't really know anybody.
Leonard: Oh, good, an English accent, the sexiest accent you can have.
Penny: No, that's not true. There's French, there's Italian. No, you're right, it's the best.

Howard: What could he be doing in there every day for twenty minutes?
Raj: Well, he's not doing twenty-minute abs, because if he were, he would have better abs.

Raj: He is kind of a weirdo. Maybe he's got Leonard Nimoy chained up in there. Or Bill Gates. Or Stephen Hawking.
Howard: Why would he chain up Stephen Hawking?
Raj: Howard, please, you can't treat the man differently just because he's disabled. That's not okay.

Leonard: This is silly. I have nothing to worry about.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. I mean, statistically speaking, I'm sure you have something to worry about.
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Well, if we assume your looks are average, right off the bat fifty percent of men on Earth are more attractive than you. That's 1.5 billion handsome lads standing by, waiting to rain on your parade.
Leonard: Well, yeah, but this isn't just about looks. I'm way above average in a lot of other things.
Sheldon: Not height, vision, athleticism or ability to digest dairy products.

Howard: When I was starting to do magic in junior high, I thought I could be an escape artist like Harry Houdini.
Raj: How did that work out?
Howard: Pretty good. I managed to escape friends, popularity, and every party thrown in a twelve mile radius.

Howard: What kind of secret does Sheldon have to encrypt?
Raj: He's always been very cagey about what he puts in his egg salad to make it so tasty.
Howard: It's paprika.
Raj: Really? Well, okay, one mystery solved.

Leonard: You, uh, moving in to the apartment on the fifth floor?
Cole: No, I was just visiting a friend.
Leonard: Oh, cool. The cute blond on four?
Cole: Yeah, you know her?
Leonard: I see her around. I like to keep my distance because her boyfriend is a pretty scary dude.
Cole: Really?
Leonard: Yeah. He's ganged up.
Cole: She told me he's a scientist.
Leonard: That's the name of his gang. The Scientists. They're crazy.
Cole: Well, thanks for the tip.
Leonard: No problem, brother. Stay frosty.

Alex: Oh, hello, Dr. Hofstadter.
Leonard: Hey, Alex, call me Leonard. Dr. Hofstadter is my father. And my mother. And my sister. And our cat. Although I'm pretty sure Dr. Boots Hofstadter's degree was honorary.

Howard: Forty-three. What is forty-three? Besides my mom's neck size.
Raj: It's the atomic number for technetium.
Howard: That stuff's radioactive.
Raj: Do you think he's building a bomb?
Howard: It took him two years to put together that Lego Death Star. I'm not worried.

Raj: That's good quality video.
Howard: It better be. It's the same camera for the Mars rover.
Raj: How did you get your hands on that?
Howard: Million dollar camera. Ten dollar lock.

Leonard: Howard did go to the International Space Station.
Sheldon: Yeah, that was five weeks ago. How much longer is he gonna milk that cow?

Sheldon: Give me back my parking space.
Howard: You don't need a parking space. You don't have a car.
Sheldon: You don't need an Iron Man helmet. You're not Iron Man.

Howard: Well, we appear to have reached an impasse. And you know, I have to say, I thought you'd be more upset that your laptop is sitting on my junk.