Sheldon: It has been pointed out to me that some of the things I said to you could be construed as offensive, and I would like to offer you my sincerest apology.
Alex: Thank you, Dr. Cooper.
Sheldon: Yeah, additionally, you should know that the university has mandated that I take an online sexual harassment seminar so this sort of thing doesn't happen in the future.
Alex: Okay.
Sheldon: Yeah. Now, unfortunately, uh, my time is much too valuable to waste on nonsense like this, so, um, I'm gonna need you to take it for me. Oh, and, uh, you'd better ace it, they're pretty mad.

Penny: Damn, you've got more makeup than I do. You've got better makeup than I do. Yeah, I'm borrowing this.
Leonard: Hey, hey, hey. This is my Comic-Con makeup. I love you, but there are some things a man doesn't share with his girlfriend.

Leonard: That was San Diego Comic-Con. This is Bakersfield Comic-Con.
Penny: Is that better?
Leonard: Well, it's a lot smaller. It's more about the comic books. The way these conventions used to be before they went all Hollywood.
Sheldon: So to answer your question, no, it's not better.

Penny: Well then why are you going?
Sheldon: It's a comic book convention. You know, it's like pizza or particle accelerators, even the stinky one's still pretty good.

Penny: Oh, this is the best. You have booze with breakfast on a Tuesday, you got a problem. You do it on the weekend, you got brunch.

Amy: Sheldon doesn't believe in brunch. He can't stand being at a table where one person's having an omelette and another person's having a sandwich.
Bernadette: That's not exhausting at all.

Raj: Great idea. I haven't had a carbohydrate in two weeks. These cheekbones need to be in front of a camera before I eat a pretzel and they're gone.

Amy: Thor is a god. The hammer is his. Only he can use it. It's like Sheldon and his toothbrush. Or his thin, beckoning lips.

Howard: I wish my mom was here. We could all hang out in her shadow.

Leonard: Hey, will you steam my uniform next?
Sheldon: Interesting. Do you recall this conversation? Leonard, want to go halfsies on a steamer? No, Sheldon, we don't need a steamer. Looks like that rumpled chicken's come home to roost.

Sheldon: That's a wise policy. I once borrowed my sister's makeup for a costume contest. Got a terrible case of pinkeye. But luckily, I was going as a zombie. I won second place.

Bernadette: It's cute how excited they are. You should have seen Howard sewing his costume all week for the convention.
Amy: When did Howard learn to sew?
Bernadette: When he was a little boy, every couple months, he would have to let his mom's pants out.

Sheldon: I think you should turn on the GPS.
Leonard: It is on.
Sheldon: But the turn-by-turn voice option isn't on. I know I'd feel more safe if you turn on the turn-by-turn voice option. I love the turn-by-turn voice option.
Howard: Has it really only been ten miles?

(The girls enter Stuart's comic book store)
Bernadette: Why are they staring?
Amy: Who cares? Just soak it in. Hello, boys.

Stuart: Well, uh, let's see. You've got your basic clean-cut good guys, Superman, Spider-Man, Captain America. Then you have your darker anti-heroes, your Batman, your Wolverine, Punisher.
Amy: Ooh, I do love a bad boy.
Penny: As evidenced by your boyfriend and his fear of hamsters.