Barry Kripke: I'd love to babysit for you. Kids love me. Something about me just makes them waff and waff.

Sheldon: I'm not interested in being published in Mad Magazine. Zingers fly fast in the Thunderdome, Barry.

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not do cozy.

Penny: I'm gonna kill her.
Bernadette: Im sure you've got nothing to worry about. Leonard would never cheat on you.
Amy: She's right. But say the word, I got a lab full of cocaine-addicted monkeys with nothing to lose. One of them could end up in the backseat of her car. Or her shower.

Raj: I like you a lot, and that's scary for me. Mostly because you're a proven flight risk.

Girl: So you just flew around? That's kind of like my uncle. He's a flight attendant.
Howard: No, I'm an American hero. Your uncle brings people nuts, okay?