Bernadette: Faster, faster, faster! Do you not know that word? It means more fast!
Leonard: Stop yelling at me.
Bernadette: Hey, you'll know when I'm yelling at you.

Leonard: Do you think Penny's mad at me?
Bernadette: Because you're in the right lane behind a bus and you won't go around it? I'm sure she finds it charming.
Leonard: No, because I didn't want her on my team.
Bernadette: I'm starting to think she dodged a bullet. The slowest bullet in the world.

Leonard: I have asthma. Back off!

Stuart: So, when you guys plan fun activities, does my name even come up or ...?
Raj: I invited you to my murder mystery party.
Stuart: No, you didn't.
Raj: Oh.

Bernadette: Hey, Romeo. Repair your relationship on your own time!

Leonard: Wait, I got it. I got it.
Bernadette: Congratulations. You got it last.
Leonard: You're really mean, you know that?

Sheldon: It's dirty laundry. You're up.
Penny: What? Why me?
Sheldon: Because you've been training for this your whole life. You live in a pile of dirty laundry.

Bernadette: They're here first. This is because you made me slow down for that blind guy.

Howard: Have you ever played a game with Bernadette?
Amy: No.
Howard: Have you ever gone into a steel cage with a wolverine?

Penny: Wow, I can drink a beer underwater!

Bernadette: How do I put this? She's been known to call you a name that usually applies to a lady part. Or a cat, or a willow.
Leonard: I can't believe she would say that about me.
Bernadette: If you're gonna cry about it there's tissues in my purse. Unless you got some in yours, big willow.

Sheldon: If my apples are mealy, we can hit the supermarket for one last blowout. I'll even let you push the trolley.

Sheldon: Please don't take my looking forward to Leonard coming home as criticism of you in his absence. That criticism will come later in your report card.
Penny: Yeah, I didn't stay for the detention. I'm not going to read the report card.

Sheldon: Penny, it's your lucky day. Three of these eggs are clearly not jumbo size. Grab your keys!

Sheldon: Stuart, I was wondering if you can help me find something.
Stuart: Happy to, unless it's hope or a reason to live?
Sheldon: Oh, you make me laugh, sad clown.