Leonard: I thought you were gonna pretend to be an alien.
Sheldon: I was, but Penny didn't want to. You didn't want to. Bernadette, Amy, Koothrappali and Wolowitz didn't want to. And even I knew it was weird to hire somebody.

Raj: Enough chit chat. How do we know you are who you say you are?
Josh Why would I lie?
Raj: Okay, you got me there.

Bernadette: Howard, get off of him.
Howard: Not until he stops humping his way up my family tree.

Penny: Just thinking about the day I met you and Leonard.
Sheldon: It was a Monday afternoon. You joined us for Indian food.
Penny: Can you believe it's been eight years?
Sheldon: And you're still eating our food.

Penny: Besides, aren't you the one who says there's nothing more important than the advancement of science?
Sheldon: No, I said there's nothing more important than me advancing science.

Sheldon: Why would you have surgery?
Leonard: Because I can't breathe. I snore. I get sinus infections.
Penny: Back off, he's all mine.

Penny: Why is everyone so concerned with us setting a date? We're committed to each other. We're happy. A ceremony isn't gonna change anything.
Sheldon: So you're never getting married? It's his whining, isn't it?
Leonard: Sheldon, I'm not a whiner.
Sheldon: It's amusing that he doesn't hear it.

Bernadette: So, Josh, what do you do?
Josh I'm studying oceanography down in San Diego.
Bernadette: Aww, how nice.
I love Finding Nemo.

Penny: When Leonard comes out, he is not gonna feel great, so please don't give him a hard time.
Amy: Penny has a good point. This is like the man in the supermarket with the goiter on his neck. Whatever you're thinking, just keep it to yourself.
Sheldon: It was like a grapefruit.
Amy: And I'm sure he knew that before you held a grapefruit up next to it!

Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy/girl sleepover.
Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
Sheldon: G-rated with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.

Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Oh, thank you.
Leonard: Thanks.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.

Penny: What'd you say to her?
Sheldon: Well, I just asked her if I should start watching the new Flash TV series.
Penny: And that made her angry?
Sheldon: Baffling, right? We were necking like a couple of hooligans under the school bleachers. I stopped so I could ask the question. Next thing I know, good-bye, kissy face. Hello, yelly face.

Penny: So, Dr. Koothrappali, long flight?
Dr. Koothrappali: Twenty hours.
Penny: Ooh, that's rough.
Dr. Koothrappali: Not at all. Did you know that when you fly Transcontinental without your wife, you don't pray for the plane to crash?

Raj: How old is this Jell-O?
Stuart: Well, it's carrots, so I'm gonna say very.

Leonard: Do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list.
Howard: Yeah.
Leonard: Do you think when she and I had that conversation she left people off her list?
Sheldon: I'm sure she did.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list.