Raj: Exactly what I expected. Two people forcing their ideas on me and only one gentleman who could be bothered to ask me what my thoughts were. You two are out. Congratulations, Leonard, you're on the team.
Leonard: My mommy raised a gentleman.

Leonard: Just this morning, Sheldon wouldn't let me put almond milk on my Grape-Nuts because he said it was a theoretical nut conflict.
Raj: You should've told him to mind his own business.
Leonard: Yeah. That's better than what I did say, which was, "Fine, I'll eat them with club soda."

Leonard: How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?
Leonard: I don't know. Should we call Sheldon and Howard?
Raj: No, we can do this by ourselves.
Leonard: Great. How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?

Sheldon: Do either of you know Beyonce? I'd love her to get behind it.

Sheldon: How about we split the difference and discuss why Austria was an arch-duchy and not just a regular duchy?

Sheldon: Leonard's mom is a renowned psychiatrist and woman of science. Can you please keep the Bible babble to yourself while she's here?
Mary Cooper: Are you ashamed of me?
Sheldon: Of course not. I love you. I'm just embarrassed by the things you believe, do and say.
Mary Cooper: Well, I love you, too, my little bowl of lion chow.

Raj: Hey, you should totally get it. In fact, I'll buy it for you.
Stuart: Sold!
Emily: Raj, you don't have to do that.
Stuart: Too late! No returns!

Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
Bernadette: You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.

Bernadette: The only issue is that everybody has their own thing. And as long as it's two consenting adults, I guess I don't see the harm in it.
Raj: Well, what if it's one consenting adult and one adult who pretends to consent because he's afraid of being alone?
Bernadette: Well, then I guess bring a blanket. The grass gets damp at night.

Howard: So me and the guys were talking about this great investment opportunity.
Bernadette: Nope.
Howard: But you didn't hear what it was.
Bernadette: I know.

Leonard: This is exciting. This is really exciting. I have to go find Sheldon.
Penny: Okay, well, if you find him use the kitchen island. That coffee table will not support both of you.

Amy: Ooh, there's a cover band in the lounge.
Penny: Eh, no.
Amy: But they play Barry Manilow.
Penny: No.
Amy: But they're called Fairly Manilow.
Penny: Oh, okay.
Amy: Great!
Penny: No!

Sheldon: Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?

Amy: Sheldon, it's okay with me if you're not perfect.
Sheldon: Amy, can I have one more moment with Leonard?
Amy: Sure.
Sheldon: Amy just hurt my feelings. I wanna break up with her.

Leonard: If you had told anyone that you were going away on a train, by yourself, across the country, do you know what they would have said?
Sheldon: That I couldn't do it?
Leonard: Exactly. Right after they said 'yeah!'