Sheldon: You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those cool ranch Doritos are doing the trick.

Sheldon: So your solution is to promote me and pay me more money, so I can impart my knowledge to the next generation of scientists?
Mrs. Davis: Yes.
Sheldon: You people are sick.

Amy: Well, I just think she wants you to do well and she's worried you won't because you were just a stunningly bad waitress.
Penny: That is not true.
Amy: I'm still waiting on my mini corndogs from two years ago.
Penny: I told you, they'll be right out.

Howard: Guess what, engineers are just as smart as physicists.
Sheldon: Oh! You take that back!

Sheldon: Amy, please. I am trying to find a way to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.

Amy: Hey, girlfriend. Can I get a what what?
Penny: What?
Amy: Close enough. I was just calling to see what you were up to tonight. I thought maybe we could head up Color Me Mine, maybe sneak in some Pinot Gris- what evs.

Raj: You suck, Wolowitz!
Howard: What's that about?
Raj: I'm heckling you. It's a beloved part of baseball.
Sheldon: He's right. And given that you're probably still waiting to be picked for a game that was played in fifth grade, I'm sure you do suck.

Penny: Hey, what's going on?
Leonard: Baseball.
Penny: Okay, that's not what I meant when I said go outside and play.

Leonard: We keep procrastinating. We saw Back to the Future II, pigeons playing ping pong, a bunch of countries that look like genitals, and one guy whose genitals look like Denmark!
Raj: Yeah, sorry for clicking on that.

Sheldon: Miners often sang mining songs to keep their spirits up.
Raj: You know any mining songs?
Sheldon: Just the hits.

Raj: (fanning himself) Oh, this heat is brutal!
Sheldon: As someone from the tropical sub-continent of India, you should know that fanning yourself in a humid environment only raises your body temperature.
Raj: Huh. That does explain why the servants used to look so hot while they were fanning me.

Sheldon: Well, I've been struggling for months to come up with a theory for dark matter that doesn't make protons decay. I'm hoping to finally tackle it by optimizing my work environment. See I've got, my tea is at the perfect sipping temperature. I have fleece-lined boxer-shorts to keep my tushie toastie. And last but not least, this inspirational cat poster improved with the reassuring face of physics renegade Richard Feynman.

Howard: Okay, who was he talking to Emily or Cinnamon? "I want you to know the bed feels so lonely when you're not in it"?
Raj: Yeah, I might not be liking this game so much.
Leonard: Cinnamon. Give me another one.

Howard: Okay, "Check it out. I got us matching sweaters."
Leonard: We all got the Christmas card. Cinnamon.

Raj: You know a man can care deeply about a woman and a pet. It's not strange.
Leonard: Ooh, Emily. I heard him say that to Emily.