Raj: You know what, I think it's a little weird that you remember me saying all these things. Maybe the truth is you're jealous of all my relationships.
Howard: Oh. Maybe I am. Who wouldn't want to the girl - or possibly dog - to hear the words "You're so lucky. You have the shiniest hair."
Leonard: That is a tough one. I know he brushes both of them.

Howard: That was the last one. I promise we won't play it any more.
Raj: Thank you. Because if she ever found out, it would hurt her feelings.
Bernadette: Emily's feelings?
Raj: Yes, Emily!

Emily: So, I hear you guys have been playing a little game.
Howard: Well, we were just kidding around.
Emily: Well, you may think it's funny that Raj is sweet and sensitive, but I think it's sexy.
*Kisses Raj and pulls a hair out of her mouth*
Emily: Urgh, why is there dog hair in your mouth?

Sheldon: Who would you choose?
Penny: Robert Downey, Jr.
Sheldon: Oh. I didn't think of Iron Man. You know, maybe after myself and I have dinner, we could meet you two for dessert.

Amy: We won't know if there's equality until female Thor has a baby and the Avengers are cool with her pumping breast milk at work.

Amy: Can I be in charge of pricing? I've been going to garage sales my whole life.
Can you believe I got these pantyhose for a nickel?
Howard: All right, Amy's in charge of pricing, and being seventy-five.

Leonard: *to Wil Wheaton* Give me back that juice.

Sheldon: Hey, would you like to hear some songs I've rewritten to get children interested in the hard sciences?
Howard: Sure.
Leonard: Really?
Howard: Yeah. I like music. I like science. I like making fun of Sheldon. Hit it!

Sheldon: Anyway, if you're looking for Leonard, he's with Koothrappali.
Penny: No, actually, I came to talk to you.
Sheldon: How nice!

Sheldon: So, often on the front of the locomotive is a large iron wedge for clearing objects off the tracks. Now, while commonly known as a cowcatcher, I prefer the more accurate "cow exploder."

Raj: Okay, so we know that previous attempts to send a message into space, like the Golden Record on Voyager, were heavily criticized.
Leonard: Well, aliens could only play the Golden Record if they figured out how to build a record player.
Raj: Eh. Although, to be fair, I watched E.T. build a telephone out of a Speak & Spell and an umbrella. Dude was like a little brown MacGyver.

Leonard: Now that we're all on the same page, let's get together tonight and work on it.
Sheldon: Get together tonight? Leonard, stop trying to control everything, and give poor Raj a chance to come up with what we should do. Go ahead, Raj.
Raj: Okay, I think we should do it right now.
Sheldon: Tonight works better for me.

Penny: *thinking* Okay, it's just an audition. Why am I nervous? Maybe it's a good thing. Just means I want it. And I can have it. This feels right. Why did I ever give this up? *opens door and sees room packed with women reading scripts* *speaking quietly* I'm starting to remember.

Penny: I mean, the whole experience reminded me about how much I hated about that world. You-you know, the anxiety, the depression, the negativity. I don't want to feel those things. I want to sell drugs to people who feel those things.

Penny: If I was at a train station and one train could take me to my current job and the other train could take me to an audition for a movie, which train should I get on?
Sheldon: Are you using trains to trick me into giving you advice?
Penny: No.
Sheldon: All right then. You should take a third train where you audition for the movie, but hold off on making a career decision until you have more information.