Amy: You better watch that attitude, buddy. You're dating the popular girl now.

Penny: What kind of teenager did you think I was?
Bernadette: Slutty.
Amy: Easy.
Penny: The word is 'popular'.

Amy: You're making me worry. What's going on?
Sheldon: What's going is we're about to go to a prom and there's a great deal of pressure on young couples like us to engage in what Mr. Bob Eubanks called "makin' whoopee".

Sheldon: But I have been getting better with sarcasm, if you want to give that a try.
Amy: *sarcastic* Oh, sure, I'd love to.
Sheldon: Whenever you're ready.

Howard: Your entire job is to find lost luggage and you've narrowed down the location of my mother to the planet Earth?

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Bingo Was His Name-o"* There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K, space, M-A-X-W-E-L-L, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. *claps* A-M-E-S--
Leonard: Okay, okay, we get it.

Sheldon: If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
Penny: Well, not to steal from the bible, but turning water into wine sounds pretty good.

Sheldon: How about this one?
Amy: He's barely moving. He looks half dead.
Sheldon: I know. I like him too.

Amy: Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be martians.
Sheldon: They would, wouldn't they? We could give them cool martian names. We could teach them about martian history, like who planted those flags or where'd that copy of Mars Attacks come from.

Sheldon: The truth is, I can no longer balance a full time career, a popular Internet show, and a girlfriend.
Amy: And he really does have one, you jerks on the comment board.

Amy: Okay, that's enough.
Penny: What, no. I really want to know what happens. And Bernadette really, really, really wants to know what happens.

Stuart: I can't believe she's gone. That woman took me in. If it wasn't for her, I would have been homeless.
Amy: One of us would have taken you in.
Stuart: Yeah, I don't recall any offers. But you know what, I'm glad it worked out the way it did, because I got to know this wonderful person.

Sheldon: Oh, I know, the person I'd most like to have dinner with is myself.
Penny: You sure that's your choice, because I've had that dinner.
Sheldon: Well, I haven't. And although they say never meet your heroes, I just don't see how I could disappoint.

Amy: We could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
Sheldon: You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?

Penny: Okay, instead of protecting me, why don't you try being excited when something good happens?
Leonard: I'm always excited for you. I'm excited that you found this new job where you're making decent money.
Penny: Decent? I make twice what you make.
Leonard: Wait, twice?
Penny: Yeah.
Leonard: Like times two, twice?