Howard: Look at this. Trent is rebuilding a vintage motorcycle.
Raj: That is so cool! Old broken things are so much better than new things that work.

Sheldon: Okay, here it comes. You tried to take care of me when I was sick, and I was mean to you. There's no excuse for that. And I'm truly sorry.
Leonard: Thank you. I appreciate that.
Sheldon: I want you to know that that is sincere. I do feel bad. I'm not just saying it to be included on your trip.
Leonard: Appreciate that, too.
Sheldon: Terrific. Now all that's left is for you to invite me to come. Me to ask, "Are you sure?" You to say, "Absolutely." And then me to bring it home with, "How could I say no to that face?"
Leonard: You're still not coming.
Sheldon: What? But I apologized and I meant it. I know that we don't play this game very often, but you're doing it wrong.
Leonard: Sheldon, I accept your apology, but you upset a lot of people while you were sick. I'm not in a position to just say you can come.
Sheldon: Well, all right. What if I apologize to all of them?
Leonard: Fine, if you apologize to everyone, they all say it's okay, then yes, you can come.
Sheldon: Challenge accepted! Sounds like it's time for the Sheldon Cooper Apology Tour.
Leonard: Well, I hope it's as much fun as the Sheldon Cooper Spell-Checks Local Menus Tour.
Sheldon: My goodness! Do you remember "comes with apsparagus"?

Bernadette: Who's Trent?
Howard: Oh, he's our fan.
Bernadette: Fan of what?
Howard: Uh, did you forget? We're in a band.
Bernadette: You mean because you played one time in the comic book store?
Howard: And at the children's hospital until they asked us to leave.

Sheldon: If any of you are looking for something to do on Valentine's Day, Amy and I'll be streaming our first-ever live episode of Fun With Flags. You're welcome to join us as we celebrate the timeless love affair between wind and flapping fabric.
Leonard: Penny and I have dinner reservations that night, but any other time, no.

Sheldon: That's not her. That's not her. That's not her. That's not her.
That's not her. That's not her. That's not her. That's not her.
Leonard: Really? The old Asian man is not your Meemaw?
Sheldon: And that's not helpful.

Amy: Do you realize it took me five years to get a massage from him?
Beverly: Oh, well, that still could be a big step for Sheldon.
Amy: Three minutes. And he used a kitchen timer. I felt like a soft-boiled egg.

Sheldon: Well, I can be helpful. Give me something to do. You know, my father took me to work once, and in ten minutes I figured out who'd been stealing from the cash register.
It was my father. Yeah, Dad lost his job, but Mr. Hinckley gave me a Fudgsicle.

Meemaw: Let her go. And under no circumstance will you give her that engagement ring.
Amy: What ring?
Leonard: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Leonard: Oh, we have to use the stairs.
Alfred Hofstadter: When are they gonna fix your elevator?
Leonard: Uh, I don't- Any day now.
Alfred Hofstadter: Well, the stairs are fine. Besides, your mother is up there. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and not have to see her.

Leonard: So, if you don't like Star Wars, why are you here?
Wil Wheaton: Oh, I'm just having fun. Everyone takes Star Wars so seriously, like if the movie's bad it's going to ruin their lives.
Raj: Is it bad? Did you hear something? Oh my God, it's bad. Somebody kill me!

Penny: You wrote vows?
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I don't have any. You're kind of making me look bad.
Leonard: I don't have to say them.
Penny: No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We've got this.

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

Penny: Nicely done.
Leonard: Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me.
Penny: Well, the night is still young.

Leonard: Listen. If you're imagining that it was sexy, it wasn't. We were both drunk and she smelled like an ashtray. The boat was moving a lot, so I chipped her tooth.
Penny: Did you feel guilty?
Leonard: Well, she had dental insurance.

Sheldon: A Texas Special cattle and calf car train set with authentic horn and bell! Thank you, Meemaw!
Meemaw: Oh, you're welcome, Moonpie.
Sheldon: Amy, why don't you look excited? You get to watch me play with this!