Penny: Nicely done.
Leonard: Finally there's a Mrs. Hofstadter who isn't disappointed in me.
Penny: Well, the night is still young.

Penny: You couldn't give us just one weekend?
Stuart: I told him this was a bad idea.

Penny: You wrote vows?
Leonard: Yes.
Penny: I don't have any. You're kind of making me look bad.
Leonard: I don't have to say them.
Penny: No, go ahead. I'll come up with something mushy, you'll cry. We've got this.

Leonard: So, if you don't like Star Wars, why are you here?
Wil Wheaton: Oh, I'm just having fun. Everyone takes Star Wars so seriously, like if the movie's bad it's going to ruin their lives.
Raj: Is it bad? Did you hear something? Oh my God, it's bad. Somebody kill me!

Leonard: Oh, we have to use the stairs.
Alfred Hofstadter: When are they gonna fix your elevator?
Leonard: Uh, I don't- Any day now.
Alfred Hofstadter: Well, the stairs are fine. Besides, your mother is up there. Maybe I'll have a heart attack and not have to see her.

Meemaw: Let her go. And under no circumstance will you give her that engagement ring.
Amy: What ring?
Leonard: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Sheldon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to like each other. Well, we have a 4:30 reservation at Applebee's.
Amy: I think I should leave.
Sheldon: But why? Other than you two fighting, we're having such a good time.

Penny: Constance, are you sure I can't pour you some wine?
Meemaw: Oh, no wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: Here you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like - a lot in a glass.

Raj: Yeah, I get that. I'm a scientist / party planner / small-dog enthusiast / guy who probably should have stopped at scientist.

Stuart: Hmm. (looking around at the room)
Howard: What?
Stuart: I just have never been in this room while you're awake.

Raj: Well, I've seen you here before, Claire.
Claire: It's my first time. I'm looking for inspiration for this movie I'm writing.
Howard: You're a screenwriter?
Claire: Well, screenwriter / bartender / a month away from living in my car.

Meemaw: So, Penny, I understand you have a new job.
Penny: Yes, I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Meemaw: Oh. It's so wonderful that you modern gals can have it all. A husband and a full-time career.
Amy: I have a relationship and a full-time career, too.
Meemaw: That doesn't bode well.
Amy: Why not? You just said it's okay for her to work.
Meemaw: Well, Leonard doesn't need as much tending to as Sheldon does. And as Moonpie explained, Leonard's work is more of a hobby.
Leonard: That's my best friend.

Leonard: How was your day?
Penny: Oh, not good. Still couldn't get in to see Dr. Gallo.
Sheldon: A doctor? Well, I hope you're not contagious. I've got a weekend in the telescope room I've been excited about for almost three minutes.

Sheldon: Well, then it looks like we have a winner. Congratulations.
Raj: Well, I should warn you, it's just looking at data for hours and hours on a computer screen.
Sheldon: Uh, stop selling it, kid. You won.

Wil Wheaton: I enjoyed that more than I thought I would.