Raj: Boy, all this standing's making me tired. Good thing I brought my collapsible stick chair.
Howard: Not the stick chair. You look like an idiot on that thing.
Raj: Sticks and stones may break my bones, but chairs on sticks are comfy.

Howard: What kind of music are you thinking of?
Stuart: I like all kinds of music, but my favorite genre is free.

Leonard: I love you.
Penny: Who cares?

Penny: Oh, my God, he won't stop.
Leonard: How does he keep coming up with new ways to be annoying?
Penny: Nobody knows. That's why he's number one.

Penny: Oh, my God, they're coming right towards us.
Bernadette: We got to get out of here.
Penny: Okay. Well, wait, what about Leonard?
Bernadette: He and his tiny bladder can take the bus!

Sheldon: I understand that we are no longer a couple, but I'd like to remind you that we made a baby together.
Amy: What baby?
Sheldon: A precocious, little Internet show known as Fun with Flags.

Raj: I can't believe Sheldon gave this up.
Leonard: I know. We're gonna have so much more fun than him.
Bernadette: No, they're not.
Penny: Knowing them, they will.

Sheldon: Dear Crazy Future Sheldon, you were driven mad by an earworm. Your mind, once your most trusted asset, is now a sack of parrots and monkeys. So I'm going to tell you everything you need to know. Uh, first, music is dangerous. The movie Footloose tried to warn us, but we wouldn't listen.

Sheldon: (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl! (3 knocks) Birthday girl!

Amy: If you don't mind me asking, why did you and your wife split up?
Dave: Oh, you know how it is. We wanted different things. I wanted children, and she wanted a pastry chef named Jean-Philippe.

Amy: That's Sheldon.
Dave: You're kidding! How's my hair?

Raj: Come on, a medium-sized asteroid is still an interesting discovery.
Sheldon: I suppose it could end up on a collision course with Earth and destroy life as we know it.
Raj: You dream different than me.

Amy: We've got someone who couldn't be here but really wanted to wish you a happy birthday.
Stephen Hawking: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: (gasps) Professor Hawking.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Thank you so much. I can't believe you're-
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday to you.
Sheldon: Oh, you're singing. Well, I'm sorry.
Stephen Hawking: Happy birthday, dear Sheldon.
Leonard: Uh, Professor Hawking, if you just give us one second, we'll light the candles, and we can all sing together.
Stephen Hawking: I was crushing it, but all right.

Moviegoer: Star Trek stinks!
Wil Wheaton: Yeah? Live long and suck it!

Raj: My name is Little Orphan Annie. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
Howard: My name is Darth Vader. I am your father. Prepare to die.