Howard Wolowitz Quotes Page 4 of 77
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Howard: What's the matter, you chicken?
Sheldon: I've always found that an inappropriate slur. Chickens are not by nature at all timid. In fact, when I was young, my neighbor's chicken got loose and chased me up the big elm tree in front of our house.
Raj: Chickens can't climb trees.
Sheldon: Thank God.
Howard: Okay, I believe the chicken made you his bitch.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but-
Leonard: Don't tell her.
Sheldon: We're playing Klingon Boggle.
Leonard: Aww!
Howard: What do you mean "Aww?" Like she didn't know we were nerds?
Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency
Howard: 1. I lost my virginity to my cousin, Jeanie. 2. It was my Uncle Murray's funeral, we were all back at my Aunt Barbara's house. Our eyes locked over the pickled herring. We never meant for it to happen. 3. To this day, I can't look at pickled herring without being aroused and ashamed. Oh, cousin Jeanie.
Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation
Wolowitz: Winnie-the-Pooh is out of the honey tree.
Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary
Wolowitz: Puppies, how do you stand on puppies?
Bernadette: A puppy once bit my face!
Wolowitz: Of course it did.
Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance
Beverly Hofstadter: It might explain why the two of you have created an ersatz homosexual marriage to satisfy your need for intimacy.
Howard: Say what?
Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction
Priya: Indian parents are very protective of their children.
Howard: Right. Whereas Jewish mothers take a casual la-di-da approach to their sons.
Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization
Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.
Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy
Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.
Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation
Howard: Settle this. Those little animated pictures on the Internet, are they called "gifs" or "jifs"?
Leonard: Well, the G stands for "graphics." That's a hard G, so I'd say "gif."
Raj: What? The guy who invented it says it's "jif."
Howard: I'm sorry, do you mean the guy or the juy?
Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity
Howard: Don't be oversensitive. He's calling you illiterate, not your race.
Raj: Oh, okay. Good.
Quote from the episode The Mystery Date Observation
Howard: If you don't want to use dating Web sites, what do you suggest?
Sheldon: Off the top of my head? Prospective women weed themselves out in a battle of wits until only one champion remains, she shows up at my door flush with the thrill of victory, and then sits quietly by my side while I watch Daredevil.
Howard: You seriously think women would fight for you?
Sheldon: People compete for jobs and trophies, why not me?
Howard: He's right. He knows a lot of jokes.
Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative
Wolowitz: Well no, you're mistaken. You give speeches all the time. What you can't do is shut up.
Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex
Howard: Sheldon knows football? I mean Quidditch, sure, but football?
Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation
Howard: We're looking for Sheldon, not Marmaduke.
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