Penny: Did you tell her her about your favorite asthma inhaler?

Penny: Why am I so nervous?
Bernadette: It's understandable. Amy was afraid to tell her mom she broke up with Sheldon.
Penny: Yeah? How did it go? Did she make you crawl into the breaking-up drawer?

Penny: Okay, what happened between you and Amy?
Sheldon: Can you believe she said I embarrassed her?
Penny: Yeah.

Penny: This is really sad, and in a different way than it was twenty minutes ago.

Penny: Well, my beer isn't flat and my rack's not saggy, so far the future's great.

Leonard: Since when can Koothrappali talk in front of the girls without a beer?
Bernadette: Oh, it happened just after you left.
Leonard: And no one told me?
Howard: (Emotionally) I can't believe we forgot to tell him.
Penny: *Hands Howard the Vagisil coupon* Think of Sheldon when you apply it.

Penny: Oh, sweetie, you should really get some money.

Penny: No, come on, I wanna do it. Let's you, me and your very, very pale feet make some art.

Raj: Boo-hoo. You know what you sound like? Babies. Two whiny babies. And there's nothing worse than being stuck with two whiny babies!
Howard: Oh. Oh, my God, I'm gonna have two babies.
Raj: No, no, no, no. Babies are great. You're lucky to have two babies. I mean, look at me, uh, I'm all alone.
I'm never gonna have babies, 'cause you can't make a baby watching Netflix with your dog.
Penny: Thanks for coming.

Leonard: If you don't like this Christy, why are you letting her stay?
Penny: Well, she was engaged to my cousin while she was sleeping with my brother, so she's kind of family.

Penny: You mean, like a date?
Leonard: Not like a date, a date.

Penny: What's the word, hummingbird?

Sheldon: Penny, this is serious. My reputation is on the line. What are people gonna think when they see us collaborating?
Penny: I don't know. Poor Bert?

Penny: You know, whenever I find a top I like, I always go back and get a second one in a different color. Which I hope is not the case with your baby.

Penny: Oh, he's cute!
Bernadette: Doesn't a teardrop tattoo mean he murdered someone?
Penny: And he's sad about it.