Sheldon Quotes Page 12 of 40

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Quote from the episode The Focus Attenuation

Sheldon: I remember it distinctly because I had just finished writing my poem commerating the anniversary of Dr. Seuss's death.
Howard: No one wants to hear it.
Sheldon: Why die? Why did he die? All told, I was told he was old.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Focus Attenuation

Leonard: It wasn't until his twenty-first birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet.
Sheldon: Wow wow wow. Is 'placed' right?
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Is 'placed' the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
Leonard: 'Had will have placed'?
Sheldon: That's my boy.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation

Bernadette: Speaking of new careers, how are things going with dark matter, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I have to say it's the most exciting time in the history of the field.
Bernadette: Oh, what's going on?
Sheldon: I started doing it.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation

Leonard: Wow, Donkey Kong. This was my game when I was a kid.
Sheldon: Because it's a story of a pretty blonde girl tirelessly pursued by a small oddly-shaped man?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

4.5

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Amy: We need to fabricate a tantalising piece of gossip.
Sheldon: And a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control.
Amy: Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Sheldon: Look at you, getting me to engage in the Social Sciences. You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Sorry, I'm late!
Leonard: What happened?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just didn't want to come.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener-neener".

4.5

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but as far as the population of this car goes you're a veritable mack daddy.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

4.5

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. All right. Imatote. Ulba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

4.5

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner. This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest, who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Sheldon: As usual, you're all wrong. The bravest person in the Marvel universe is the doctor that gives Wolverine his prostate exam.
Howard: How about the guy gets a prostate exam from Wolverine?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: I've never said these words before, but good job Howard.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: "Barney Bunny has two daddies now." Probably something about homosexual rabbits.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Leonard: Hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Interesting, a friendly sentiment in this country - a cruel taunt in the Sudan.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not.
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogens Typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska, I'm certain I have no corn-husking antibodies.
Leonard: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
Sheldon: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me, these gelatin cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance.
*Sheldon holds a Q-tip toward his mouth for Leonard to swab*

4.5

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny.
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do? Eat French Toast on a Monday? Now that would be impossible.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you going? The drive thru at Jack In The Box?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Mchtest du eine Darmsplung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, 'Would you like an enema?'

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon:Excuse me, Penny, but "Doodle Jump" is a game. "Angry Birds" is a game. "World of Warcraft" is a massively multiplaying online role-playing... All right, technically it's a game.

4.5

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: I have a board. If you like boards, this is my board.
Penny: Holy smokes.
Sheldon: If by "holy smokes", you mean a derivative restatement of the kind of stuff you can find scribbled on the wall of any men's room at MIT, sure.
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Oh, come on. Who hasn't seen this differential below "here I sit brokenhearted"?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Sheldon: I'm sorry, but in what universe is Wonder Woman blonde?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Penny: Get them down!
Sheldon: Apologize.
Penny: Never.
Sheldon: Then you just get a very long stick and play panty pinata!

4.5

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