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Quote from the episode The Focus Attenuation

Leonard: It wasn't until his twenty-first birthday that 1955 Biff placed his first bet.
Sheldon: Wow wow wow. Is 'placed' right?
Leonard: What do you mean?
Sheldon: Is 'placed' the right tense for something that would have happened in the future of a past that was affected by something from the future?
Leonard: 'Had will have placed'?
Sheldon: That's my boy.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well then I will happily catch them with the reproductive sack on my upper flermin.
I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Amy: It's sweet that you care about him so much.
Sheldon: I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to him, and I wasn't at his bedside to say "I told you so".

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Sheldon: Amy, you're a microbiologist. Get in there and spray some raid.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Sheldon: I ordered it before you had surgery. It's the urn I was going to put you in.
Penny: Okay, that's morbid. Send it back.
Sheldon: I can't send it back. I had it engraved. "Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter. He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better."

4.5

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Amy: After only 232 episodes.
Sheldon: 233 if we include the one somebody forgot to press record on.
Amy: You said you weren't going to bring that up.
Sheldon: And you said you pressed record.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Sheldon: If I could, I would run each and every one of you viewers up a flag pole and salute you. And if you touch the ground, burn you.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration

Sheldon: Eugh, English pudding. You get yourself all excited for pudding and here comes a cake with raisins in it.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration

Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed mommy, and ran grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration

Amy: Well, you got me something. Here.
Sheldon: Cookies?
Amy: They're your MeeMaw's Christmas cookies. I called and got the recipe.
Sheldon: They're perfect. It tastes like her hugs.
Amy: Merry Christmas, Sheldon.
Sheldon: I can't believe this. You're happy. I'm happy. Maybe a holiday that's all about giving isn't so - Get your hand out of that box!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Leonard: This isn't so bad.
Sheldon: That's easy for you to say. Your chair isn't facing the lingerie section. Boy that's a lot of panties.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: I don't understand why women insist on making a big production about buying clothes.
Penny: You're right. We should do what you do, have our mom send us pants from the Wal-Mart in Houston.
Sheldon: They have a man there who understands my personal style.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Leonard: That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.
Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.
Leonard: What?! They why don't you do it?
Sheldon: Well, it's scary, and sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can't take that away from you, so what do I do? Come on, I'm practically feeding you the answer. I compromise.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: You're mean to me a lot. You think I don't notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: He were go, compromising again. We really are the best.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. No wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated.
Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Oh look, they're going back up again. Terrific. Oh no, they're going back down.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Leonard: At least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep, good night.
Sheldon: Boy. Taylor was right. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Troll Manifestation

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy Bake oven of my mind.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Amy: That's fascinating. I can't wait to read it.
Sheldon: Oh, me as well. Please email it to sheldon@bazinga.biz Why .biz? Because I just gave you the business. And also bazinga.com was taken.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it sure ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell your judge I'm ready to apologize.

4.5

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!

4.5

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but as far as the population of this car goes you're a veritable mack daddy.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Amy: We need to fabricate a tantalising piece of gossip.
Sheldon: And a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control.
Amy: Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Sheldon: Look at you, getting me to engage in the Social Sciences. You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Sorry, I'm late!
Leonard: What happened?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just didn't want to come.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener-neener".

4.5

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: No mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I am home safe does not prove it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc. No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Sheldon: "See you in hell Sheldon"? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.

4.5

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