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Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Prom Equivalency

Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges. If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well then I will happily catch them with the reproductive sack on my upper flermin.
I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Amy: It's sweet that you care about him so much.
Sheldon: I do. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something happened to him, and I wasn't at his bedside to say "I told you so".

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Sheldon: Amy, you're a microbiologist. Get in there and spray some raid.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Sheldon: I ordered it before you had surgery. It's the urn I was going to put you in.
Penny: Okay, that's morbid. Send it back.
Sheldon: I can't send it back. I had it engraved. "Here lie the ashes of Leonard Hofstadter. He thought he was right, but his roommate knew better."

4.5

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Amy: After only 232 episodes.
Sheldon: 233 if we include the one somebody forgot to press record on.
Amy: You said you weren't going to bring that up.
Sheldon: And you said you pressed record.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Champagne Reflection

Sheldon: If I could, I would run each and every one of you viewers up a flag pole and salute you. And if you touch the ground, burn you.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Clean Room Infiltration

Bernadette: Why'd you turn it off?
Sheldon: Because in the last ten minutes, Santa came to town, kissed mommy, and ran grandma over with a reindeer. I had a drunk uncle who did all those things. Nobody sings songs about him.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Leonard: This isn't so bad.
Sheldon: That's easy for you to say. Your chair isn't facing the lingerie section. Boy that's a lot of panties.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: I don't understand why women insist on making a big production about buying clothes.
Penny: You're right. We should do what you do, have our mom send us pants from the Wal-Mart in Houston.
Sheldon: They have a man there who understands my personal style.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Leonard: That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.
Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.
Leonard: What?! They why don't you do it?
Sheldon: Well, it's scary, and sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can't take that away from you, so what do I do? Come on, I'm practically feeding you the answer. I compromise.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: You're mean to me a lot. You think I don't notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: He were go, compromising again. We really are the best.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Amy: Look, your anxiety levels are right in the zone.
Sheldon: Really? Oh, that's fantastic. No wait, they're dropping. Why are they dropping?
Amy: Because you're happy they're elevated.
Sheldon: Oh, that is infuriating. Oh look, they're going back up again. Terrific. Oh no, they're going back down.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Leonard: At least listen to it through headphones. I'm trying to sleep, good night.
Sheldon: Boy. Taylor was right. Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Troll Manifestation

Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy Bake oven of my mind.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Comic Book Store Regeneration

Amy: That's fascinating. I can't wait to read it.
Sheldon: Oh, me as well. Please email it to sheldon@bazinga.biz Why .biz? Because I just gave you the business. And also bazinga.com was taken.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Intimacy Acceleration

Penny: Do you want to stop? I know you have trouble with eye contact.
Sheldon: Well, you have a brown fleck in your right iris that looks like a Formula 1 race car, so I'm just concentrating on that. Plus it's easier around people I'm comfortable with.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, I'm comfortable around you, too.
Sheldon: Of course you are. I'm warm and soothing. I'm like a human bowl of tomato soup.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Sheldon: Do you want to say it?
Amy: Let's say it together.
Sheldon and Amy: We're getting a turtle!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Penny: This is why I've been saying we should keep champagne on ice.
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: That was tricky because when it comes to alcohol, she generally means business.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Leonard: Why a turtle?
Sheldon: After much deliberation, we've determined that a turtle is the ideal pet. They don't shed fur. They don't make noise.
Amy: For Halloween, we can dress him as a cobble stone.
Sheldon: And, if he ever goes beserk, I know I can out run him. Coincidentally that's also why I chose you as a roommate.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Amy: Let's pick ourselves out a nice turtle. Ooh, how about this one up on the log?
Sheldon: Hmm, I don't know. He kinda looks like a jerk.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Sheldon: How about this one?
Amy: He's barely moving. He looks half dead.
Sheldon: I know. I like him too.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Sheldon: What should we name him? I came in thinking Seth, but he kinda looks Italian.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Sheldon: So you're saying you wouldn't leave me for the chance to be one of the first humans to colonize another planet?
Amy: I would at least mention it before filling out the application.
Sheldon: Hmm. That's exactly what Leonard, Wolowitz, Koothrappali, Bernadette and Penny said.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Amy: And who says you could even survive an inter-planetary mission anyway? You could barely survive a tiny turtle bite.
Sheldon: First of all, this has only made me stronger.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Amy: I suppose being the first people on a new planet would be incredibly exciting.
Sheldon: I know. We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars.
We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks on Mars.
We could be the first to say "Good lord, what on Mars are you talking about?"

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Amy: We could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
Sheldon: You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Colonization Application

Amy: Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be martians.
Sheldon: They would, wouldn't they? We could give them cool martian names. We could teach them about martian history, like who planted those flags or where'd that copy of Mars Attacks come from.

4.5

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