Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 188

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Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy of your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: Well, what about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands for itself.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Sheldon: My brain is better than everybody's!

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.

Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation

Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Sheldon: Who's Nowitzki?
Ramona: I'm Nowitzki.
Sheldon: Oh, so you want me to share credit with you?
Ramona: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Get out!

Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation

Sheldon: It was a compromise. I lost.

Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency

Sheldon: My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
Alex: What?
Sheldon: Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.

Quote from the episode The Monster Isolation

Sheldon: She's remarkable.
Leonard: She really is.
Sheldon: How is it that she can remember all those lines, yet as a waitress she can't remember no tomato on my hamburger?

Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

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