Sheldon Quotes Page 12 of 42

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Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Leonard: That is not a compromise. A compromise is me driving you everywhere because you refuse to learn how.
Sheldon: Oh, I learned how. Amy taught me.
Leonard: What?! They why don't you do it?
Sheldon: Well, it's scary, and sometimes I get the pedals mixed up. But more importantly, driving me to work is one of the things that gives your life purpose. I can't take that away from you, so what do I do? Come on, I'm practically feeding you the answer. I compromise.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: You're mean to me a lot. You think I don't notice all those sarcastic comments and those eye rolls, but I do. I have excellent peripheral vision. On a good day, I can see my ears.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Penny: Why are there tears?
Leonard: Everything's fine. We just started talking about living arrangements.
Amy: Are you crazy? You know he's a flight risk!
Sheldon: That's exactly what I told him.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Space Probe Disintegration

Sheldon: He were go, compromising again. We really are the best.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: I'm sorry but I'm not going to watch the Clone Wars TV Series until I've seen the Clone Wars movie. I prefer to let George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

*In the jail*
Sheldon: That's the toilet?
Policeman: Well, it sure ain't a wishin' well!
Sheldon: Please tell your judge I'm ready to apologize.

4.5

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: If I'm permitted to speak again, Dr. Sheldon Cooper for the win!

4.5

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: I don't know what your odds are in the world as a whole but as far as the population of this car goes you're a veritable mack daddy.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Amy: We need to fabricate a tantalising piece of gossip.
Sheldon: And a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control.
Amy: Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Sheldon: Look at you, getting me to engage in the Social Sciences. You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Sorry, I'm late!
Leonard: What happened?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just didn't want to come.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: There's an economic concept known as a positional good in which an object is only valued by the possessor because it's not possessed by others. The term was coined in 1976 by economist Fred Hirsch to replace the more colloquial, but less precise "neener-neener".

4.5

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: No mother, I could not feel your church group praying for my safety. The fact that I am home safe does not prove it worked. That logic is post hoc ergo propter hoc. No, I'm not sassing you in Eskimo talk.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Sheldon: "See you in hell Sheldon"? The most frightening thing about that is the missing comma.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Bad Fish Paradigm

Sheldon: I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

4.5

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. All right. Imatote. Ulba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

4.5

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: This is where we could've been if we hadn't stopped for dinner. This is where we could've been if Koothrapali hadn't ordered dessert.
Raj: I earned it, I ate all my brocolli.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Given that Saint Valentine was a 3rd century Roman priest, who was stoned and beheaded, wouldn't a more appropriate celebration of the evening be taking one's steady gal to witness a brutal murder?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard: Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon: I've never said these words before, but good job Howard.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: "Barney Bunny has two daddies now." Probably something about homosexual rabbits.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Leonard: Hope you're hungry.
Sheldon: Interesting, a friendly sentiment in this country - a cruel taunt in the Sudan.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Leonard: Sheldon, you are not sick. This is, but you are not.
Sheldon: We have no idea what pathogens Typhoid Penny has introduced into our environment. And having never been to Nebraska, I'm certain I have no corn-husking antibodies.
Leonard: Sheldon, don't you think you're overreacting?
Sheldon: When I'm lying comatose in a hospital relying on inferior minds to cure me, these gelatin cultures and my accompanying notes will give them a fighting chance.
*Sheldon holds a Q-tip toward his mouth for Leonard to swab*

4.5

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny.
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do? Eat French Toast on a Monday? Now that would be impossible.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you going? The drive thru at Jack In The Box?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Mchtest du eine Darmsplung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, 'Would you like an enema?'

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Isolation Permutation

Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Zarnecki Incursion

Sheldon:Excuse me, Penny, but "Doodle Jump" is a game. "Angry Birds" is a game. "World of Warcraft" is a massively multiplaying online role-playing... All right, technically it's a game.

4.5

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