Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 153
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Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination
Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.
Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency
Sheldon: There there, everything is going to be fine... Sheldon's here!
Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity
Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled dolphins.
Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization
Sheldon: Hi, Mom, how are you?But, Mom, she keeps sitting in my spot. And she touched my food. Okay, yes, I took her clothes, but she started it. (throwing a fit) No, that's not fair. Why should I have to apologize? I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. All right! Goodbye. (hangs up) (to Leonard) Did you tell on me?
Leonard: Are you kidding me? I already have 2 strikes
Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation
Howard: Are you listening to yourself?
Sheldon: I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life.
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy of your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!
Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation
Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!
Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution
Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.
Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance
Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.
Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization
Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.
Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence
*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.
Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation
Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.
Quote from the episode The Holographic Excitation
Sheldon: It was a compromise. I lost.
Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency
Sheldon: My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
Sheldon: Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.