Sheldon QuotesPage 12 of 84
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Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex
Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. Pro football, college football, high school football, pee wee football... in fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a commie plot.
Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis
Amy: Ears and genitalia.
Sheldon: Interesting. Not body parts that usually team up. What about environmental factors. Describe the scene for me?
Amy: I was sitting in a restaurant with Penny and Bernadette drinking water. Carbonated as it was a special occasion. Penny's friend Zack stopped by and said 'hello' and I said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: Then why did you ask?
Amy: Ask what?
Sheldon: All right, lets start over. What did you say when Zack walked in?
Amy: Why do you keep saying Zack?
Sheldon: Because you keep saying who?
Amy: I'm not saying 'whoo' now, I said 'whoo' last night.
Sheldon: And the answer is Zack, correct?
Amy: There was no question, I simply said 'whoo'.
Sheldon: All right I think I have enough to go on.
Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation
Penny: Who's Adam West?
Sheldon: Who's Adam West!? Leonard, what do the two of you talk about after the coitus?
Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation
Sheldon: What are the sleeping arrangements? We've only been dating for three years. If we were to share a room people might talk.
Quote from the episode The Desperation Emanation
*Sheldon spots Amy Farrah Fowler outside the apartment*
Sheldon: Oh dear... they really do be crazy.
Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination
Sheldon: I understand why you're upset. You're afraid that costume makes you look fat.
Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination
Sheldon: Doctor Greene, question?
Dr. Greene: Yes?
Sheldon: You've dedicated your life's work to educate the general populous about complex scientific ideas.
Dr. Greene: Yes, in part.
Sheldon: Have you ever considered trying to do something useful? Perhaps reading to the elderly?
Dr. Greene: Excuse me?
Sheldon: Yeah, but not your books. Something they might enjoy. I kid of course, big fan.
Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis
Sheldon: If it's good enough for Kirk, Crunch, and Kangaroo it's good enough for me.
Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency
Sheldon: According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you'll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.
Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization
Sheldon: The word is Polish. See, look.
Polish sausage. And the model of the solar system developed by Nicolaus Copernicus, a Polish astronomer. And then, finally, if that wasn't enough, which it should've been, this is Madame Curie killing herself by discovering radium, who, although she was a naturalized French citizen, was Polish by birth.
Penny: Excuse me, the word is polish. See? Small p.
Sheldon: Ah! So it is. I guess we both share blame on this one.
Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence
Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Penny: Hey Sheldon, whattcha got there a new comic book?
Sheldon: Old comic book. I just got it from the safe deposit box.
Penny: What do you have a safe deposit box for?
Sheldon: Old comic books.
Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary
Leonard: Can I have a napkin.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, no!
Leonard: But you have a whole bunch of napkins.
Sheldon: Yes, I've moved to a four napkin system, lap, hands, face, and personal emergency. If you like, starting tomorrow, I'll add a guest napkin but I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you today.
*Leonard grabs a napkin.*
Sheldon: Good luck, that's the face napkin.
Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation
Sheldon: Bazinga, punk. Now we're even!
Quote from the episode The Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification
Sheldon: What I am doing here is trying to determine when I am going to die.
Leonard: A lot of people are working on that research.
Quote from the episode The Rhinitis Revelation
Sheldon: Frankly, Mom, I'm encouraged to see how advanced your group has become -- willing to sail into the ocean without fear of falling off the edge.
Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation
Sheldon: Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: Well, what about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands for itself.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Penny: So, how've you been?
Sheldon: Well, my existence is a continuum, so I've been what I am at each point in the implied time period.
Quote from the episode The Pants Alternative
Sheldon: Question: Where are my Pants?
Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation
Stuart: Can you please get back to the drunk girl, I'd like something to think about in the shower.
Zack: Oh, yeah, right. Anyway, she takes off all her clothes, climbs in the hot tub, and the first thing I noticed--
Sheldon: The water level rose.