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Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 138
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Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence
*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.
Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution
Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.
Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation
Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.
Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation
Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.
Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation
Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.
Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation
Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.
Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion
Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.
Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation
Sheldon: But evolution is not opinion, it's a fact.
Sheldon's mom: And that is your opinion.
Sheldon (to Leonard, Howard and Raj): I forgive you, let's go home.
Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement
Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: OK, come in.
Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation
Sheldon: Are they making fun of us?
Sheldon: I miss the old days when I couldn't tell.
Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment
Penny: I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bar-tending shift, so I need to practice mixing drinks.
Leonard: That's Great! The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.
Sheldon: With certain obvious exceptions. ... Suicide, for example.
Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex
Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!
Quote from the episode Pilot
Penny: Would it be weird if I used your shower?
Leonard: (to Sheldon) No!
Sheldon: (to Penny) No.
Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation
Sheldon: I made a new friend who likes trains as much as I do, I kissed Amy on the lips, and the conductor played his banjo for me.
Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance
Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.