Sheldon Quotes Page 12 of 38

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Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: An entire dinner to talk about your research? Where you going? The drive thru at Jack In The Box?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon:You know, I do call seeing some female undergarments. Where was that? Oh, yes. Earlier this evening, I appened to gaze out the window and a brassiere aught my eye. (Pointing out the window) Do those look familiar?
Penny: How the hell did you get them up on that telephone wire?
Sheldon: When you understand the laws of physics, Penny, anything is possible. And may I add: Mua-ha-ha!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Raj: (Talking to the snake) Let's go to the biology lab and find you some nice yummy mice. *Raj leaves the room*
Sheldon: I tried to scare an Indian with a snake. Come on, Cooper. You're better than this.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Amy: We need to fabricate a tantalising piece of gossip.
Sheldon: And a second non-tantalising piece to use as a control.
Amy: Then we'll track its progress through our social group and interpret the results through the competing academic prisms of mimetic theory, algebraic gossip and epidemiology.
Sheldon: Look at you, getting me to engage in the Social Sciences. You're a vixen, Amy Farrah Fowler!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Excelsior Acquisition

Sheldon: I would point out that I am at the top of my profession, while you preside over the kiddie table of yours.

4.5

Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

*Sheldon receives a cell phone call*
Sheldon: Hello. Well, this seems like an odd time to test my cell phone quality but go on. Test phrases. Alright. I'm a tote. Olba. Twad. All together? All right. I'm a total butt wad. Why are you laughing? Hello?
Penny: And that girls is how you make a phony phone call.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Sheldon: I'm not sure how to respond, Leonard. I don't own Amy. You can't own a person, at least not since?
*Leonard stares at him*
Sheldon: 1863. When President Lincoln freed the?
*Leonard looks fed up*
Sheldon: Slaves. Come on, Leonard. If you're gonna teach history, these are the kind of facts you'll have to know.
Leonard: You know what, never mind.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: Anyway, the housekeeper in the faculty residence didn't speak any English. When I finally managed to convince her I was sick, she said, "Möchtest du eine Darmspülung?"
Penny: What does that mean?
Sheldon: Based on what happened next, I assume it means, 'Would you like an enema?'

4.5

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: Well, what about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands for itself.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Sheldon: Leonard, make Howard stop being naked in my spot!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Sheldon: Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. I'm sorry to inform you that you've been taken in by unsupportable mathematics designed to prey upon the gullible and the lonely. Additionally, I am being blackmailed with a hidden dirty sock.
Amy: If that was slang, I'm unfamiliar with it. If it was literal, I share your aversion to soiled hosiery.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Sheldon: I am the proud owner of WilWheatonStinks.com, .net and .org!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Sheldon: Bongo solo!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Leonard (looking at the heavy box and the stairs): Do you have any ideas?
Sheldon: Yes, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a Power Ring.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I'm sorry.
There there, everythings gonna be okay........
Sheldon's here!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: (To Penny) According to the inexplicably irritable nurse behind the desk, you'll be seen after the man who claims to be having a heart attack, but appears to be well enough to play Doodle Jump on his iPhone.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Einstein Approximation

Penny: Whatcha doin'?
Sheldon: I'm attempting to view my work as a fleeting peripheral image so as to engage the superior coliculus of my brain.
Penny: Interesting. I usually just have coffee. Have you been up all night?
Sheldon: Is it morning?
Penny: Yes....
Sheldon: Then I've been up all night.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation

Howard: So you're telling the two of you will be sleeping in the same bed together?
Sheldon: Yes.
*Pause*
Sheldon: Bazinga!

4.5

Quote from the episode The Friendship Algorithm

Sheldon: (Looking for a book) "Barney bunny has two daddies now" Probably something about homosexual rabbits.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Sheldon: (to Leonard, who has decided to give up on Penny) Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation

Sheldon: Oh, Penny! Penny!
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Killer Robot Instability

Penny: (To Howard) Normally, I can just ignore you. I mean, I get it. You're a little peculiar. Like Sheldon.
Sheldon: Excuse me, Penny, but in this room, you're the one who's peculiar.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Werewolf Transformation

Penny: Where are you going?
Sheldon: Wherever the music takes me, kitten.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Alien Parasite Hypothesis

Sheldon: Good grief. It's like talking to a dolphin.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
Penny: I don't need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.
Sheldon: My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.
Penny: One was already in an accident.
Sheldon: Doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I'm driving.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Sheldon: You're out, too, by the way.
Leonard: Say what?
Sheldon: It's nothing personal, I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they eat an Eskimo pie.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

Sheldon: With skin as fair as mine, moon burn is a real possibility.
Howard: That's a bazinga, right?
Sheldon: One of my best, don't you think?

4.5

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Sheldon:Excuse me, are you saying that Wil Wheaton, a.k.a. Ensign Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, is going to be participating in your tournament?
Stuart: I'm sorry, did I rob you of the opportunity to stumble onto that for yourself?
Sheldon: No, wait, you don't understand, growing up, I idolized Wil Wheaton, you know, Wesley Crusher had an eidetic memory just like me.
Raj: Oh, what a coincidence. Maybe you can discuss that with him while you're playing in the tournament. Sign here.
Sheldon: Yeah, I was such a fan that in 1995, I traveled 10 hours by bus to a sci-fi convention in Jackson, Mississippi wearing my Starfleet Academy cadet uniform in order to meet Wil Wheaton and get him to autograph my mint-in-package Wesley Crusher action figure.
Raj: Oh, It'll be like a reunion then. Sign here.
Sheldon: (Mood changes) Yeah, my arduous journey, however, was for naught. Although advertised to appear, he did not show up. It was at that moment I vowed eternal hatred for Wil Wheaton.
Raj: Okay, great, you can tell him you hate him, sign here.
Sheldon: It might interest you to know that Wil Wheaton currently ranks 6th on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle.

4.5

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Leonard: What's going on?
Penny: Oh, heh, it's not what it looks like. *Leaving*
Sheldon: What does it look like?

4.5

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