Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 129

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Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: OK, come in.

Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation

Sheldon: Are they making fun of us?
Raj: Yep.
Sheldon: I miss the old days when I couldn't tell.

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Penny: I finally convinced the restaurant to give me a bar-tending shift, so I need to practice mixing drinks.
Leonard: That's Great! The key to acquiring proficiency in any task is repetition.
Sheldon: With certain obvious exceptions. ... Suicide, for example.

Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!

Quote from the episode The 43 Peculiarity

Sheldon: You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It's exhausting!

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: But evolution is not opinion, it's a fact.
Sheldon's mom: And that is your opinion.
Sheldon (to Leonard, Howard and Raj): I forgive you, let's go home.

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Sheldon: You may have gone to Cambridge but I'm an honorary graduate of Starfleet Academy.

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Zack: Anyway, after we get done snowboarding, I go to the lodge and get in the Jacuzzi. There's no one around, so naturally I'm free-balling it. Next thing I know, this beautiful chick shows up. Drunk out of her skull, wants to get in with me.
Sheldon: Question: was it a Jacuzzi or a hot tub?
Kripke: Really, that's your question?
Zack:What's the difference?

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Sheldon: Mmm, this is good. Whatever this is.

Quote from the episode The Engagement Reaction

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?
Biosuit Nurse: Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed.
Sheldon: (Covering his face with his shirt) No, I haven't. It's all good.

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Sheldon: Fellow warriors, this is Sheldor the Conqueror. We are about to enter Atzel's fortress. Now, this is a long run, so let's do another bladder check. All right, Barry, we'll wait for you again, but you really should see a doctor.

Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Sheldon: And now that I have some wood, I'm going to begin the erection of my settlement.

Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Sheldon: This is now the only lab with glassware washed by a man with two doctorates and a restraining order signed by Carl Sagan.
Amy: Soap spots. Wash them again.

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: They called it the greatest thing since the Communist party. Although I'm pretty sure the Communist party made them say that. I like China. See, they know how to keep people in line.

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