Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 152

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Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.

Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation

Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.

Quote from the episode The Egg Salad Equivalency

Sheldon: My father used to say that a woman is like an egg salad sandwich on a warm Texas day.
Alex: What?
Sheldon: Full of eggs and only appealing for a short time.

Quote from the episode The Misinterpretation Agitation

Sheldon: Hold on, Dr. Leonard, where are your social skills? This man is clearly upset. We should invite him in for a hot beverage.
Leonard: He tried to score with Penny.
Sheldon: So have these two and they're having dinner with us.

Quote from the episode The Separation Oscillation

Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.

Quote from the episode The Platonic Permutation

Sheldon: Amy, I excel at many things, but getting over you wasn't one of them. I think I need to just be your friend.

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: What are you doing here?
Leonard: I live here.
Sheldon: I have paperwork that says differently.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: But evolution is not opinion, it's a fact.
Sheldon's mom: And that is your opinion.
Sheldon (to Leonard, Howard and Raj): I forgive you, let's go home.

Quote from the episode The Love Car Displacement

Sheldon: I need to sleep here tonight.
Raj: Why?
Sheldon: Howard is a total ass, Bernadette is in Penny's bed, Amy bites and Penny may or may not have coitus with Leonard.
Raj: Okay, come in.

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