Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 12 of 156

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Quote from the episode The Lunar Excitation

(Sheldon notices Penny taking Leonard to his bedroom)
Sheldon: What's going on?
Penny: Get your noise-cancelling headphones, 'cause it's gonna get loud.
Sheldon: Oh, not this again.

Quote from the episode The Fortification Implementation

Sheldon: I'll get the blankets, you Google how to have child-like fun.

Quote from the episode The Herb Garden Germination

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: There there, everything is going to be fine... Sheldon's here!

Quote from the episode The Boyfriend Complexity

Leonard: You'll never guess what just happened.
Sheldon: You went out into the hallway, stumbled into an inter-dimensional portal which brought you 5,000 years into the future, which you took advantage of the advanced technology to build a time machine, and now you're back to bring us all with you to the year 7010, where we transported to work at the thinkatorium by telepathically controlled dolphins.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: Hi, Mom, how are you?But, Mom, she keeps sitting in my spot. And she touched my food. Okay, yes, I took her clothes, but she started it. (throwing a fit) No, that's not fair. Why should I have to apologize? I really don't think this is the kind of thing Jesus concerns himself with. No, you're right. I don't really know what Jesus thinks about. All right! Goodbye. (hangs up) (to Leonard) Did you tell on me?
Leonard: Are you kidding me? I already have 2 strikes

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

Howard: Are you listening to yourself?
Sheldon: I always listen to myself. It's one of the great joys of my life.

Quote from the episode The Electric Can Opener Fluctuation

Sheldon: Hello Penny. I realize you are currently in the mercy of your primitive biological urges. But, as you have an entire lifetime of poor decisions ahead of you, may I interrupt this one?

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Sheldon: Of the handful of women Leonard's been involved with, she's the only one I have ever found tolerable.
Penny: Well, what about me?
Sheldon: The statement stands for itself.

Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Sheldon: My brain is better than everybody's!

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Leonard: You know what, go to Hell and set their thermostat.
Sheldon: I don't have to go to Hell. At 73 degrees, I'm there already!

Quote from the episode The Zazzy Substitution

Sheldon: I know mother, but you're not fooling me. Every time you want to talk it means you want me listen.
Mrs. Cooper: Then stop talking.
Sheldon: Yes, Ma'am.

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Sheldon: Don't worry. I will remain the same down to earth, humble Joe I've always been.
Leonard: Good to know.
Sheldon: Now give me that cookie, I discovered an element.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: You know, I'm given to understand that there's an entire city in Nevada devoted specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems. They replace them with new problems such as alcoholism, gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

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