Sheldon Quotes Page 32 of 39

Searching Search quotes

Showing quotes 931 to 960 of 1159Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Howard: Anyway, she broke up with him and she's basically been alone ever since. She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.

4

Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: My point is you're going to need to be careful. You used to be protected by your pre-enlightenment mythology. But now you're going to need a stronger friend, named latex.
Mary: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
Sheldon: No, don't look to him. He's mad at you right now.

4

Quote from the episode The Indecision Amalgamation

Sheldon: I also was certain HD-DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
Amy: How old were you then?
Sheldon: Old enough to know better!

4

Quote from the episode The Indecision Amalgamation

Sheldon: And now that I think about it. I stood in front of a case of iPods and I bought a Zune.
Amy: What's a Zune?
Sheldon: Exactly! It's an MP3 people brought to us by the makers of Xbox.

4

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: It suggests I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas.

4

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

4

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

4

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: Amy's sick.
Leonard: Aww, what's wrong with her?
Sheldon: Well, she talks a lot. Always wants to hold hands.
Leonard: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: Well, if you were referring to her illness, your question should have been "What ails her?"
Leonard: What ails her?
Sheldon: Oh, who knows.

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Why would they lie to us?
Sheldon: That's a good question.
*Sheldon knocks three times on the restaurant window* Amy and Bernadette! [x3]
Sheldon: Why did you lie to us?

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Fine, I'll go. *Reads fortune cookie* "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." Hey, that's a good one.
Sheldon: No, it's not.
Penny: How's it not good?
Sheldon: Turn to you for wisdom? Clearly that cookie is mocking you. ... You'd never hear that sass from a nutterbutter.

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.

4

Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Amy: Watching your old friend?
Sheldon: Yes. Look at him, Amy. It's such a shame. Struck down in the prime of my life.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Transmogrification

Sheldon: Amy, mourning the inevitable is a complete waste of time.
Amy: And watching a bunch of goofy space movies you've seen a hundred times isn't?
Sheldon: If we were in a physical relationship, you've just lost sex tonight.

4

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Dissolution

Sheldon: Oh, I'll make English Breakfast tea. They destroyed your culture, that's close enough.

4

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: I see. You're putting your future bride's happiness above mine.
Leonard: Well, yeah!
Sheldon: Wow.

4

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Amy: Here, I made you some Strawberry Quik.
Sheldon: I have real problems here, Amy. I can't be mollified with a beverage designed for children. *Takes a sip* Mmm, yummy.

4

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Amy: You know, this might work out for the best. You're always complaining about what a terrible roommate Leonard is. Like how he turns up the thermostat when you're not there.
Sheldon: Euck, it's like walking into the Amazon. And not the good Amazon with one-day shipping, the awful one with birds and snakes.

4

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Amy: Maybe you'll like living alone.
Sheldon: Perhaps.
Amy: And if you don't, maybe you and I could live together.
Sheldon: Oh, sure! While we're at it, why don't we get engaged, too? Why don't we get a little house, start a family, enjoy our sunset years together? Do you hear yourself woman?!

4

Quote from the episode The Status Quo Combustion

Sheldon: I'm helping you get back on your feet. I would like to purchase this comic book, please.
Stuart: It'll be $2.99.
Sheldon: Really? It's soaking wet.
Stuart: Fine, $1.

4

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Sheldon: Excuse me. Is it at all possible that you're knitting a pair of pants?

4

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Sheldon: Amy, may I please have a moment of privacy to speak with my roommate?
Amy: We're in a moving car! What do you expect me to do, stick my fingers in my ears?
Sheldon: I was thinking put your head out the window like a dog, but that'll work.

4

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

4

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: The answer is cuddly soldiers with big flat noses. Moving on.

4

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Howard: Guess what, engineers are just as smart as physicists.
Sheldon: Oh! You take that back!

4

Quote from the episode The Junior Professor Solution

Sheldon: Amy, please. I am trying to find a way to intellectually emasculate a dear friend of mine.

4

Quote from the episode The First Pitch Insufficiency

Sheldon: If you've got a problem basing a relationship on a contract, I'd like to tell you about thirteen plucky colonies that entered a relationship agreement called the U.S. constitution. And it may not be cool to say so, but I think that love affair's still pretty hot today.

4

Quote from the episode The First Pitch Insufficiency

Amy: It would make me so happy if you said things like that.
Sheldon: We got an 8.2. Trust me, you're happy.

4

Showing quotes 931 to 960 of 1159Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes