Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 176

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Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: I see no organizational system in here whatsoever. Which panties do you wear on Mondays?
Penny: I don't need panties, I just need shorts and a shirt.
Sheldon: My mother always told me one should wear clean underpants in case one is in an accident.
Penny: One was already in an accident.
Sheldon: Doesn't mean one won't be in another, especially if I'm driving.

Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Sheldon: You're out, too, by the way.
Leonard: Say what?
Sheldon: It's nothing personal, I'd just prefer if my future niece or nephew didn't become flatulent every time they eat an Eskimo pie.

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Sheldon: If you have time to lean you have time to clean.

Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Sheldon: I don't care if anybody gets it. I'm going as the Doppler Effect.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: That does smell good, too bad it's Monday.

Quote from the episode The Creepy Candy Coating Corollary

Sheldon:Excuse me, are you saying that Wil Wheaton, a.k.a. Ensign Wesley Crusher on Star Trek: The Next Generation, is going to be participating in your tournament?
Stuart: I'm sorry, did I rob you of the opportunity to stumble onto that for yourself?
Sheldon: No, wait, you don't understand. Growing up, I idolized Wil Wheaton. You know, Wesley Crusher had an eidetic memory just like me.
Raj: Oh, what a coincidence. Maybe you can discuss that with him while you're playing in the tournament. Sign here.
Sheldon: Yeah, I was such a fan that in 1995, I traveled 10 hours by bus to a sci-fi convention in Jackson, Mississippi wearing my Starfleet Academy cadet uniform in order to meet Wil Wheaton and get him to autograph my mint-in-package Wesley Crusher action figure.
Raj: Oh, It'll be like a reunion then. Sign here.
Sheldon: (Mood changes) Yeah, my arduous journey, however, was for naught. Although advertised to appear, he did not show up. It was at that moment I vowed eternal hatred for Wil Wheaton.
Raj: Okay, great, you can tell him you hate him, sign here.
Sheldon: It might interest you to know that Wil Wheaton currently ranks 6th on my all-time enemies list, right between director Joel Schumacher, who nearly destroyed the Batman movie franchise, and Billy Sparks, who lived down the street from me and put dog poop on the handles of my bicycle.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Sheldon: Penny for your thoughts?

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Koothrappali: Oh, great. No Superman, no Wonder Woman? All we've got is a skinny Flash, an Indian Aquaman, a near-sighted Green Lantern, and a teeny, tiny Dark Knight.
Sheldon: Obviously, we're no longer a Justice League. We have no choice but to switch to our Muppet Baby costumes.
Koothrappali: Ooh, I call Kermit.
Sheldon: I'm Kermit. You're Scooter.
Koothrappali: Oh, man. Scooter sucks. He's the Aquaman of the Muppet Babies.

Quote from the episode The White Asparagus Triangulation

Leonard: I'm bleeding!
Sheldon: Like a gladiator.

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Amy: Sorry I'm late. (Sees Sheldon's new hair style) What did you do?
Penny: I gave him a new look. Cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick?
Sheldon: (Looks in a mirror) She's right, I'm too hot.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?

Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation

Sheldon: Good night. And if there's an apocalypse, good luck.

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community-college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

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