Sheldon Quotes Page 32 of 41

Searching Search quotes

Showing quotes 931 to 960 of 1219Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Sheldon: Did you know that Los Angeles has a little Sri Lanka?
Leonard: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, I do now. They're a lovely people, although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them.

4

Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Leonard: I thought Amy was going to drive you home.
Sheldon: I thought so too, but she's acting very strangely. I was discussing it with a Sri Lankan fella on the bus. He hypothosized that a tiger may have recently run across her shadow. Although he may have just been trying to drum up business for his brother-in-law's witchdoctor practice.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Amy: Come on, he's a retired kids show host.
Sheldon: That's even worse. Using the sweet candy of science to trick children into loving him. ... Pervert.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Professor Proton: Sheldon, what are you doing here?
Sheldon: I'm sorry, did I wake you?
Professor Proton: Of course you woke me, it's seven thirty.

4

Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but for some reason your home isn't on this map of Hollywood stars.

4

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Sheldon: I've been told that a bald refusal of an invitation is rude and one must instead offer up a polite excuse. So, I'd love to you but unfortunately that sounds awful.

4

Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Mike: How do you not make a first down there?
Sheldon: They passed against a nickel defense. They should have run it off tackle.
Mike: How the hell do you know that?
Sheldon: My father loved football. He always made me watch it before I was allowed to do my homework.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Ira Flatow: Some people in the science community are calling it the wonder blunder.
Sheldon: Who? Give my their names! I bet it's Wolowitz.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: Yes, I'd be a physicist with a Nobel Prize in chemistry. Everyone laugh at the circus freak.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: Here comes the Embarrassment Express. It stops at Fraudville, Wonder-Blunder-Berg and Kansas City, because it's a hub.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Amy: *knocks* Sheldon, can I come in?
Sheldon: Do you have cookies?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Good, because I don't deserve cookies. Come in.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Wil Wheaton: Well not everybody felt that way. A lot of people really hated the character and some of them hated me because of it. I would do interviews and people would be mean to me.
Sheldon: That just happened to me. Next time you're stuck for a tweet, feel free to say what a jerk Ira Flatow is.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: *On the phone with President Siebert* For your information, I have nine friends. Ten if we include you. ... Nine it is.
Sheldon: It's ten. I'll count Wolowitz.

4

Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: To really understand the story here, we need to start at the very beginning. A small town in East Texas where a young genuis named -
Leonard: - Sheldon!
Sheldon: Yes, that's right, Sheldon Cooper. He was bitten by his neighbor's dog, leading to his first scientific break through: the Doggy Death Ray. Which sadly he couldn't build because Santa wouldn't bring him enriched uranium.

4

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Penny: Aww, that's great. You're going to be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

4

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?

4

Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get back in this room right now. And bring a mop!
Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop! I've got two PHDs yet somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

4

Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Amy: This is nice that we all get to eat together.
The guys: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs we don't have to.

4

Quote from the episode The Occupation Recalibration

Sheldon: When I decided I was going to be a physicist, I didn't take some other job in case it didn't work. Which wasn't easy, because there was a lot of pressure from Ms. Pearson to be chalk monitor that year.

4

Quote from the episode The Maternal Congruence

Sheldon: On the contrary I find the Grinch to be a relate-able and engaging character. And I was really with him, right up to the point that he succumbed to social convention, returned the presents and saved Christmas.

4

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: I told you, buying scalped tickets is against the rules. If you get caught you get banned for life. Life, Leonard. You're going to feel pretty silly when we're eighty years old and you have to drive me down there and sit in the car for three days.

4

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Leonard: Look, even your friend Wil Wheaton thinks this is a waste of time.
Sheldon: Not true. Wil thinks this is a great idea. He was just concerned he wasn't a big enough celebrity to headline such an event. Also it's the same day he shampoos his beard.

4

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: Wait, I need you to call Stan Lee, Leonard Nimoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Because legally I'm not allowed to. And also Carrie Fisher, because I hear she's a little nuts.

4

Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.

4

Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: What has that vixen done to me Leonard? And how do I make it stop?

4

Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Sheldon: Howard, what pocket watch will you be wearing for dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Well, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocketwatch.
Sheldon: Oh, my. Well my apologies for bringing up this sore spot.

4

Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.

4

Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay in to an acceptable conduit for my will. Then you came along and reshaped him with your new fangled ideas and fancy genitals.

4

Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: No, you've opened my eyes to the truth. Amy has made me a more affectionate, open-minded person. And that stops now.

4

Showing quotes 931 to 960 of 1219Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes