Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 153
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Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption
Amy: Sorry I'm late. (Sees Sheldon's new hair style) What did you do?
Penny: I gave him a new look. Cute, huh?
Amy: Yeah, it's cute. That's the problem. I don't need other girls to see him walking around like sex on a stick?
Sheldon: (Looks in a mirror) She's right, I'm too hot.
Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative
Sheldon: Your check-engine light is on.
Penny: Uh huh.
Sheldon: Typically, that's an indicator to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: It's fine. It's been on for like a month.
Sheldon: Well, actually that would be all the more reason to, you know, check your engine.
Penny: Sheldon, it's fine.
Sheldon: If it were fine, the light wouldn't be on. That's why the manufacturer installed that light, to let you know it's not fine.
Penny: Maybe the light's broken.
Sheldon: Is there a check-the-check-engine-light light?
Quote from the episode The Plimpton Stimulation
Sheldon: Good night. And if there's an apocalypse, good luck.
Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation
Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".
Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation
Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community-college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.
Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology
Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.
Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation
Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.
Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor
Sheldon: There are a lot more rich old ladies out there and Daddy needs a new linear accelerator.
Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor
Sheldon: (Practising speaking Mandarin) Show me your citrus peels.
*Sheldon freaks out in Chinese.*
Penny: I'm sorry. Look, do you have a second?
Sheldon: A second what? Pair of underwear?
Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation
Sheldon: Now, today's episode of 'Fun with Flags' is not fun, but it is important. Flags: You gotta know how to hold 'em, you gotta know how to fold 'em.
Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization
Sheldon: You know, I am very disappointed that I won't be able to celebrate Howard's accomplishment tonight.
Amy: Me, too. But we'll see him tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yes, it's just that in all the years I've known him, he's never had the opportunity to receive my admiration. I was excited to see the look on his face when it finally happened.
Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation
(Howard's car horn blares)
(Sheldon puts his headphones on)
Howard: Those aren't going to help you, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Oh yes, they are. I mean, what?
Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation
Bernadette: Speaking of new careers, how are things going with dark matter, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I have to say it's the most exciting time in the history of the field.
Bernadette: Oh, what's going on?
Sheldon: I started doing it.
Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation
Sheldon: Wow, I don't know which hurts more. My nose or my heart.
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Leonard: Howard brought a date?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.