Sheldon QuotesPage 32 of 78

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Quote from the episode The Weekend Vortex

Sheldon: I always thought if I were enslaved, it would be by an advanced species from another planet. Not some hotsie-totsie from Glendale.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Decoupling Fluctuation

Sheldon: Penny, please don't hurt my friend.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: Doesn't anyone wanna know where he's going?
Penny: Okay, where is he going?
Sheldon: Leonard is going to the office.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Ornithophobia Diffusion

Sheldon: Trust me, if I had a death ray I wouldn't be living here. I'd be in my lair enjoying the money the people of Earth gave me for not using my death ray.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: Excuse me. You're misusing the word 'ho'. It's an interjection used to call attention to a destination, not an object, as in 'land ho' or 'westward ho'.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Good Guy Fluctuation

Sheldon: It's me, Mrs. Wolowitz.
Howard: That's not my mom, it's Bernadette.
Sheldon: Really? That's very unsettling.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Sheldon: I'm taking a sabbatical because I won't kowtow to mediocre minds.
Penny: So you got canned, huh?
Sheldon: Theoretical physicists do not get 'canned'. But yeah.

4.4

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: Damn you, walletnook.com!
Leonard: Problem?
Sheldon: The online description was completely misleading. They said 8 slots plus removable ID. To any rational person, that would mean room for nine cards. But they don't tell you the removable ID takes up one slot. It's a nightmare!

4.4

Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst

Sheldon: Well then, as my meemaw would say, looks like we butchered a pig but nobody wanted bacon.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Big Bran Hypothesis

Penny: Son of a bitch!
Leonard: Penny's up
Penny: You sick, geeky bastards!
Leonard: How did she know it was us?
Sheldon: I may have left a suggested organizational schematic for her bedroom closet.
Penny: Leonard!
Leonard: God this is going to be bad.
Sheldon: Good bye honey puffs. Hello big bran.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Cornhusker Vortex

Sheldon: Oh yes, canine football fans are a common sight in Texas. Cats, however, refuse to wear sporting apparel.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

*Penny enters the apartment without knocking*
Penny: Hello there.
Sheldon: Who is it? Hello, Penny. It's open, come in. Sarcasm.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance

Leonard: That was fast.
Beverly: Oh, the middle stall was occupied. I'll have to try again later.
Sheldon: That's totally understandable. In bladder voiding, as in real estate, it's location, location, location.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Sheldon: Just keep in mind, should you ever need a slightly apathetic, tertiary friend, I stand at the ready.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Dumpling Paradox

Sheldon: Whoever's her partner will be hamstrung by her lack of experience, not to mention-
Penny: Ha-ha! There goes your head again.
Sheldon: Okay, it's not good sportsmanship to shoot somebody who's just re-spawned. You need to give them a chance to-
Now, come on!

4.3

Quote from the episode The Grasshopper Experiment

Sheldon: A cuba libre traditionally comes in a tall glass with a lime wedge in it.
Penny: Then swim to cuba.
Sheldon: Bartenders are supposed to have people skills.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Barbarian Sublimation

Leonard: Wanna catch me up?
Sheldon: Well, let's see. She attempted to open her apartment with her car key because her face is overly Midwestern. She hasn't had sex in 6 months, and she ate a fly.
Leonard: Uh-huh. Seriously, 6 months?

4.3

Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: My equations, someone's tampered with my equations.
Leonard: Are you sure?
Sheldon: Of course I'm sure. Look at the beta function of quantum chromodynamics. The sign's been changed.
Leonard: Oh, yeah. But doesn't that fix the problem you've been having?
Sheldon: Are you insane? Are you out of your mind? (looking at board) Are you--? Hey, look, that fixes the problem I've been having.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Justice League Recombination

Leonard: You think Penny's right? Were we bullying Zack?
Howard: No, I know bullying. He left here unswirlied and his ass crack was underpants-free.
Raj: And nobody drew a penis on his forehead.
Leonard: That happened to you?
Raj: First day of cricket camp. They drew it so the testicles were my eyes.
Leonard: I don't know, I think we might owe the guy an apology.
Howard: So go apologize.
Leonard: Why me?
Howard: You started it, we just piled on.
Leonard: What would I even say?
Sheldon: Zack, I'm sorry you're stupid. Have a Milk Dud.
Raj: A Milk Dud?
Sheldon: Yeah, Milk Duds, with their self-deprecating name and remarkably mild flavour, are the most apologetic of the boxed candies.
Leonard: I got a better idea. Were all responsible. I say we all go. Come on, who's with me? Free comic books to anyone who comes with me. I might get punched. You really want to miss that?
Raj: Junior Mints are pretty apologetic.
Sheldon: You're embarrassing yourself.

4.3

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Excuse me, but I have some concerns about these questions.
DMV Worker: Look at that sign up there.
Sheldon: Yes?
DMV Worker: Does it say "I give a damn?"
Sheldon: No.
DMV Worker: That's because I don't.

4.3

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