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Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Leonard: Look, even your friend Wil Wheaton thinks this is a waste of time.
Sheldon: Not true. Wil thinks this is a great idea. He was just concerned he wasn't a big enough celebrity to headline such an event. Also it's the same day he shampoos his beard.

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Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: Wait, I need you to call Stan Lee, Leonard Nimoy and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Because legally I'm not allowed to. And also Carrie Fisher, because I hear she's a little nuts.

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Quote from the episode The Convention Conundrum

Sheldon: I don't think that will be necessary for Mr. James Earl Jones. You heard me. The voice of Darth Vader, The Lion King's dad and, FYI, the guy who says "This is CNN" - who also sounds like Darth Vader.

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Quote from the episode The Launch Acceleration

Sheldon: What has that vixen done to me Leonard? And how do I make it stop?

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Quote from the episode The Locomotive Manipulation

Sheldon: Howard, what pocket watch will you be wearing for dinner on the train?
Howard: I'm sorry, what?
Sheldon: Well, I'm afraid if we wear the same pocket watch it will be embarrassing.
Howard: I don't own a pocketwatch.
Sheldon: Oh, my. Well my apologies for bringing up this sore spot.

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Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: Wait, is this really worth it? We've lived together for years without ne'ery an argument, but we start talking about a table and suddenly we're at each other's throats.
Leonard: Ne'ery an argument?! Ne'ery!?!
Sheldon: That means not one or not any. Maybe instead of a table you should buy a dictionary.
Sheldon: (To himself) Well, I don't know whether I won that but at least he's upset.

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Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: I have spent years turning this lump of clay in to an acceptable conduit for my will. Then you came along and reshaped him with your new fangled ideas and fancy genitals.

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Quote from the episode The Table Polarization

Sheldon: No, you've opened my eyes to the truth. Amy has made me a more affectionate, open-minded person. And that stops now.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: I have an eidetic memory. I don't what his (Raj's) problem is.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: Ten years ago upon first seeing me, your husband claimed that I looked like C3P0 and Peewee Herman. And he called me C3Peewee Herman.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: To this day I still get a monthly copy of "Granny on Granny". Which other than its surprisingly fun puzzle page is complete filth.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: Remember the old days when I would point out that your check engine light is out?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Well, get ready to stroll down memory lane. Penny, your check engine light is on.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Sheldon: Leonard, could you wrap it up? We're waiting on you.
Penny: I'm sorry, is the fact my life's falling apart interfering with your board game?
Sheldon: It is.
*Sheldon goes back into the apartment*
Sheldon: You were wrong, Friend Howard. She completely understood.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Howard: What now?
Sheldon: I have to go to the bathroom.
Howard: You just went to the bathroom.
Sheldon: But I didn't use it because it didn't seem safe. Despite all my emails, the toilet didn't have a seatbelt.
Howard: Well, it still doesn't.
Sheldon: I realize that but safety concerns went out the window two apple juices ago.

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Quote from the episode The Friendship Turbulence

Howard: I'm an astronaut and you know it. You just don't like admitting it because you're jealous.
Sheldon: Well, truth be told, as a child I did dream of going to space. Those astronauts were my heroes. And when you got to go, it was hard for me.
Howard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Because it showed made me realize they'll just send anyone up there.

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Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: How can we ever hope to have a healthy relationship if I don't tell her how disappointed I am and how I'll never forgive her.

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Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Howard: Anyway, she broke up with him and she's basically been alone ever since. She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.

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Quote from the episode The Mommy Observation

Sheldon: My point is you're going to need to be careful. You used to be protected by your pre-enlightenment mythology. But now you're going to need a stronger friend, named latex.
Mary: Are you having the sex talk with me?
Sheldon: Well someone has to.
Mary: Oh, dear Lord.
Sheldon: No, don't look to him. He's mad at you right now.

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Quote from the episode The Indecision Amalgamation

Sheldon: I also was certain HD-DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
Amy: How old were you then?
Sheldon: Old enough to know better!

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Quote from the episode The Indecision Amalgamation

Sheldon: And now that I think about it. I stood in front of a case of iPods and I bought a Zune.
Amy: What's a Zune?
Sheldon: Exactly! It's an MP3 people brought to us by the makers of Xbox.

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Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: It suggests I set these on fire, but the smell of burning books reminds me of church picnics in East Texas.

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Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

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Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

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Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: Amy's sick.
Leonard: Aww, what's wrong with her?
Sheldon: Well, she talks a lot. Always wants to hold hands.
Leonard: That's not what I meant.
Sheldon: Well, if you were referring to her illness, your question should have been "What ails her?"
Leonard: What ails her?
Sheldon: Oh, who knows.

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Why would they lie to us?
Sheldon: That's a good question.
*Sheldon knocks three times on the restaurant window* Amy and Bernadette! [x3]
Sheldon: Why did you lie to us?

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Penny: Fine, I'll go. *Reads fortune cookie* "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." Hey, that's a good one.
Sheldon: No, it's not.
Penny: How's it not good?
Sheldon: Turn to you for wisdom? Clearly that cookie is mocking you. ... You'd never hear that sass from a nutterbutter.

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.

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Quote from the episode The Anything Can Happen Recurrence

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

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