Sheldon Quotes Page 32 of 42

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Quote from the episode The Love Spell Potential

Sheldon: See what happens when you let girls play D & D.

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Quote from the episode The Proton Resurgence

Howard: How'd you get him to come to your house?
Sheldon: As Professor Proton says, "There is no problem you can't solve if you use your noggin."
Leonard: And he wrote him a check.
Sheldon: Yeah, that too. A big check.

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Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Mrs. Davis: Roots?
Sheldon: The tragic history of slavery in America. Fun for the whole family.
Mrs. Davis:: Why would you think this is an appropriate gift?
Sheldon: Umm, well ... you are black, right?

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Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Sheldon: You know, I must say I go back and forth on this boyfriend-girlfriend thing, but those moments when you worship me really keep you in the running.

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Quote from the episode The Tenure Turbulence

Sheldon: If we really want science to advance, people should have chips implanted in their skulls that explode when they say something stupid.

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Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Sheldon: I found three bowling pins. Do you juggle these or are you missing seven?
Howard: Juggle.
Sheldon: You health nuts kill me.

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Quote from the episode The Wheaton Recurrence

Penny: This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. *runs off*
Sheldon: Penny, wait, come back. I'll get you ice cream!

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Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Sheldon: I own nine pairs of pants.
Penny: Okay, that's a good start. But I was thinking something a bit more personal.
Sheldon: Oh, okay ... I own nine pairs of underpants.

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Quote from the episode The Deception Verification

Sheldon: Aquaman? This isn't a gag gift, Stuart.

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Quote from the episode The Deception Verification

Sheldon: That's curious. If there's no one here, why aret here two glasses of wine on the table?
Penny: Oh, well you know. I've got two hands and a bit of a drinking prolbem.
Sheldon: Of course. Ask a silly question.

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Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: I guess that wasn't one of the topics discussed on your Radiohead.

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Quote from the episode The Scavenger Vortex

Sheldon: Really? The only time I'm ever picked first for a team and I'm stuck with the liability?

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Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Sheldon: Did you know that Los Angeles has a little Sri Lanka?
Leonard: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, I do now. They're a lovely people, although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them.

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Quote from the episode The Workplace Proximity

Leonard: I thought Amy was going to drive you home.
Sheldon: I thought so too, but she's acting very strangely. I was discussing it with a Sri Lankan fella on the bus. He hypothosized that a tiger may have recently run across her shadow. Although he may have just been trying to drum up business for his brother-in-law's witchdoctor practice.

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Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: Look, a new topical antihistamine with lidocaine. Wow! I can't wait 'til I get a rash.

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Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Amy: Come on, he's a retired kids show host.
Sheldon: That's even worse. Using the sweet candy of science to trick children into loving him. ... Pervert.

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Quote from the episode The Proton Displacement

Sheldon: I would have been here sooner but for some reason your home isn't on this map of Hollywood stars.

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Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Sheldon: I've been told that a bald refusal of an invitation is rude and one must instead offer up a polite excuse. So, I'd love to you but unfortunately that sounds awful.

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Quote from the episode The Thanksgiving Decoupling

Mike: How do you not make a first down there?
Sheldon: They passed against a nickel defense. They should have run it off tackle.
Mike: How the hell do you know that?
Sheldon: My father loved football. He always made me watch it before I was allowed to do my homework.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Ira Flatow: Some people in the science community are calling it the wonder blunder.
Sheldon: Who? Give my their names! I bet it's Wolowitz.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: Yes, I'd be a physicist with a Nobel Prize in chemistry. Everyone laugh at the circus freak.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: Here comes the Embarrassment Express. It stops at Fraudville, Wonder-Blunder-Berg and Kansas City, because it's a hub.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Amy: *knocks* Sheldon, can I come in?
Sheldon: Do you have cookies?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Good, because I don't deserve cookies. Come in.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Wil Wheaton: Well not everybody felt that way. A lot of people really hated the character and some of them hated me because of it. I would do interviews and people would be mean to me.
Sheldon: That just happened to me. Next time you're stuck for a tweet, feel free to say what a jerk Ira Flatow is.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: *On the phone with President Siebert* For your information, I have nine friends. Ten if we include you. ... Nine it is.
Sheldon: It's ten. I'll count Wolowitz.

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Quote from the episode The Discovery Dissipation

Sheldon: To really understand the story here, we need to start at the very beginning. A small town in East Texas where a young genuis named -
Leonard: - Sheldon!
Sheldon: Yes, that's right, Sheldon Cooper. He was bitten by his neighbor's dog, leading to his first scientific break through: the Doggy Death Ray. Which sadly he couldn't build because Santa wouldn't bring him enriched uranium.

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Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Penny: Aww, that's great. You're going to be an uncle. Uncle Sheldon.
Sheldon: No, I will be Uncle Dr. Cooper.

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Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Sheldon: I never told you about my brother's kidney stones. Do you want hear about everything that comes out of my family's genitals?

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Quote from the episode The Cooper Extraction

Mary Cooper: Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get back in this room right now. And bring a mop!
Sheldon: Did you hear that? A mop! I've got two PHDs yet somehow I'm the janitor of my sister's birth canal.

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Quote from the episode The Hesitation Ramification

Amy: This is nice that we all get to eat together.
The guys: Oh yeah, absolutely.
Amy: Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
Sheldon: We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs we don't have to.

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