Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 151

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Quote from the episode The Cohabitation Formulation

Sheldon: Priya, if you're experiencing any tension or awkwardness, it may stem from the fact that Leonard and Penny used to, if I might quote Howard, "Do the dance with no pants".

Quote from the episode The Codpiece Topology

Sheldon: You know, it's amazing how many super villains have advanced degrees. Graduate schools should do a better job of screening those people out.

Quote from the episode The Staircase Implementation

Sheldon: When do you evacuate your bowels?
Leonard: When I have to.
Sheldon: When you have to? I'm sorry I don't rent to hippies.

Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor

Sheldon: There are a lot more rich old ladies out there and Daddy needs a new linear accelerator.

Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor

Sheldon: (Practising speaking Mandarin) Show me your citrus peels.
Penny: Sheldon?
*Sheldon freaks out in Chinese.*
Penny: I'm sorry. Look, do you have a second?
Sheldon: A second what? Pair of underwear?

Quote from the episode The Beta Test Initiation

Sheldon: Now, today's episode of 'Fun with Flags' is not fun, but it is important. Flags: You gotta know how to hold 'em, you gotta know how to fold 'em.

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Sheldon: You know, I am very disappointed that I won't be able to celebrate Howard's accomplishment tonight.
Amy: Me, too. But we'll see him tomorrow.
Sheldon: Yes, it's just that in all the years I've known him, he's never had the opportunity to receive my admiration. I was excited to see the look on his face when it finally happened.

Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation

(Howard's car horn blares)
(Sheldon puts his headphones on)
Howard: Those aren't going to help you, Sheldon!
Sheldon: Oh yes, they are. I mean, what?

Quote from the episode The Romance Resonance

Leonard: I get that you feel bad about all the attention, but still what you did is amazing. We're really proud of you.
Amy: I'm not.
Sheldon: You're not?
Amy: Sheldon, I've been thinking about it and you're right. You don't deserve any credit. All you did was misread some numbers on a table. A very easy table, too. Honestly, I'm embarrassed for you.
Sheldon: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
Penny: Damn it, everyone's better at this than me.
Sheldon: Congratulations, Dr. Fowler. You just made the fort.

Quote from the episode The Expedition Approximation

Bernadette: Speaking of new careers, how are things going with dark matter, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Oh, I have to say it's the most exciting time in the history of the field.
Bernadette: Oh, what's going on?
Sheldon: I started doing it.

Quote from the episode The Septum Deviation

Sheldon: Wow, I don't know which hurts more. My nose or my heart.

Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect

Leonard: Howard brought a date?
Sheldon: A more plausible explanation is that his work in robotics has made an amazing leap forward.

Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: I'm clearly too evolved for driving.

Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: *On computer screen* Greetings, hamburger toucher. You are probably wondering why you cannot IM with your little friends about how much you heart various things. Well, this recorded message is alerting you that I am putting an end to your parasitic piggybacking upon our WiFi. If you want to remedy the situation you can contact the phone company, set up your own WiFi and pay for it, or you may apologize to me.

Quote from the episode The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

Sheldon: (to Leonard, who has decided to give up on Penny) Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.

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