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Quote from the episode The Infestation Hypothesis

Sheldon: I've been sitting in garbage!

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Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Penny: Oh, please, it's not a time machine, if anything, it looks like something Elton John would drive through the Everglades.
Sheldon: It only moves in time, it would be worse than useless in a swamp.

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Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Sheldon: Oh, no, not Morlocks, not flesh eating Morlocks! Help!

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Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Sheldon: How would one measure a sense of humor? A humormometer?

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Quote from the episode The Pork Chop Indeterminacy

Sheldon: Tell Mom that I currently weigh 165 pounds and that I'm having regular bowel movements.

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Quote from the episode The Hamburger Postulate

Sheldon: Waitresses don't yell at you at Big Boy.

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Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture

Sheldon: Another carnal fiasco with the shiksi goddess.
Howard: Shiksa. Shiksa.
Sheldon: Forgive me, Yiddish was not spoken in East Texas, and if it was, it wasn't spoken for long.

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Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Penny: So, how was paint ball? Did you have fun?
Sheldon: If you consider being fragged by your own troops fun. (To Howard) You clear a space on your calendar. There will be an inquiry.

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Quote from the episode The Tangerine Factor

Howard:What's this? (hand movement)
Sheldon:That's what you did, I assumed, as in a number of languages, that the gesture was part of the phrase.
Howard: Well, it's not.
Sheldon: Why am I supposed to know that? As the teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter.

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Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Sheldon: When he finished, he shouted "Eureka"!
Zack: No, I always shouted, "Holy, moly!" Don't know why, just do.

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Quote from the episode The Euclid Alternative

Sheldon: Just because your career's been stagnant for a few years, that's no reason to give up.

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Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Penny: That's amazing.
Sheldon: I wouldn't say amazing. At best it's a modest leap forward from the basic technology that gave us Country Bear Jamboree.
Howard: Hey, Sheldon? Ahem.
Sheldon: Yes?
*Howard commands the robot arm to perform a hand gesture*
Sheldon: Peace?
Howard: No, not peace. Hang on.

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Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: Alright, Klingons, pencils down.

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Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Sheldon: I don't think there's anything in this jewelry store that Amy would appreciate more than the humidifier that we were just looking at at Sears.
Penny: Oh, my God, now I know what I sound like to you when I say stupid stuff.

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Quote from the episode The Recombination Hypothesis

Sheldon: Now, back to our game.
Raj: You were in the middle of an erection.
Sheldon: Oh, of course. It's right here in my hand.

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Quote from the episode The Vacation Solution

Sheldon: This place could really use a suggestion box.

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Quote from the episode The Thespian Catalyst

Sheldon: Hey, you taught me something. Who would have thought that.

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Quote from the episode The 21-Second Excitation

Sheldon: Where's a pontoon plane when you need one?

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Quote from the episode The Stag Convergence

Sheldon: Oh, what do you know! You're half swan.

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Quote from the episode The Panty Pinata Polarization

Sheldon: Then I suggest you get them down with a long stick and play panty piata.

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Quote from the episode The Pancake Batter Anomaly

Sheldon: (blows nose into tissue, shows family sitting at nearby table) Would you call that moss green or forest green?

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Quote from the episode The Bakersfield Expedition

*Sheldon, dressed as Data, is having his makeup put on by Raj, dressed as Worf.* Raj: And we're blending, and we're blending, and we're done. Sheldon: I know Mr. Data isn't supposed to smile, but here it comes. Howard: (Dressed as a Borg) Come on, guys. Let's do this. Leonard: (dressed as Captain Picard): Yeah, I'm sweating my bald cap off.

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Quote from the episode The Middle-Earth Paradigm

Sheldon: You know, we were annihilated by our own incompetence and the inability of some people to follow the chain of command.
Leonard: Sheldon, let it go.
Sheldon: No, I want to talk about the fact that Wolowitz shot me in the back.

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Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration

Sheldon: (Yelling at a mockingbird) And you, the notes are C, D, E, G and A! You pick one or I'm chopping down that tree!

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Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Sheldon: Some people are otters, some people are rocks.

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Quote from the episode The Contractual Obligation Implementation

Leonard: So now let's bring out theoretical physicist, Dr, Sheldon Cooper.
Sheldon: Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish-born, French-educated Madame Curie. Co-discover of radioactivity. She was a hero of science until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became filled with blood, and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work, I see no reason why that can't also happen to any of you. Are we done? Can we go?

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Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Penny: The letter was found in Bernadette's closet. Doesn't that count for something?
Sheldon: Are you pointing out that California is a community property state and since Howard and Bernadette are married the intellectual property contained in that letter is jointly owned by the two spouses?
Penny: Yeah, obviously.
Sheldon: Well played. Sometimes I don't give you enough credit, Penny.

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Quote from the episode The Closet Reconfiguration

Sheldon: I was actually trapped by Penny and forced into reveleaing confidential information about Howard's father.
Leonard: What information?
Sheldon: I can't tell you, I'm bound by closet organizer-organizee confidentiality.
Raj: Just tell us.
Sheldon: Badgering me won't work. What would work is saying Penny would tell us anyway.
Leonard: Then that.
Sheldon: Very well. Everyone's on their game today.

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Quote from the episode The Closure Alternative

Sheldon: They can't just cancel a show like Alpha, you know. They have to help the viewers let go. Firefly did a movie to wrap things up. Buffy the Vampire Slayer continued on as a comic book. Heroes gradually lowered the quality season by season 'til we were grateful it ended.

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Quote from the episode The Anxiety Optimization

Sheldon: I'm not going to work today. And would you like to know why?
Leonard: You're upset because you spent the whole night working on dark matter and didn't make a break through, and now you're worried you made a huge mistake switching fields, and you're gonna sit around and sulk all day.
Sheldon: Like a big old baby.

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