The Big Bang Theory - Sheldon Quotes

Penny: Amy doesn't want a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.

Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.

Sheldon: Everyone knows that I'm the group cut up.

Sheldon: Oh, and one more thing, it's on b*tch.

Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."

Leonard: Come on, you need a four-person team. We're four people
Sheldon: By that reasoning we should also play bridge, hold up a huppah and enter the Olympic bobsled competition.

Sheldon: I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.

Sheldon: I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.

Sheldon: He's just so zazzy, don't you think?

Sheldon: You're wrong again. If arrogance were my super power, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.

Leonard: Come on, there's four of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him.

Sheldon: It's like from the baseball movie, "If you build it, they will come."
Gablehauser: Who will come?
Sheldon: The Jewish People!
Gablehauser: What if they don't come?
Sheldon: We'll make it nice, put out a spread.

Sheldon: It took me a gallon of urine to get that water!

Howard: (Talking about his new car) its parked in 294.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, 294 is my parking spot.
Raj: You don't even drive.
Leonard: Maybe they reassigned it because you don't use it.
Sheldon: I don't use my nipples either, should they reassign those?

Sheldon: Yes, it's definitely a colonoscopy.
Leonard: My mother's coming for a visit.
Howard: Hey, what do you know. You were right.

Sheldon: YOU'RE THE MILK THIEF! Leonard said I was crazy but I knew that carton felt lighter.

Sheldon: If there is ever a church of Sheldon, it started here.

Sheldon: This is to train for a 3 months expedition to the magnetic North Pole.
Penny: What?!
Sheldon: I don't know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, [pause] but to elaborate, I'm going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali.

Penny:I think we can make it!
Leonard: Make what?
Penny: Make it as friends.
Leonard:Can we be friends that are having sex?
Penny: What!?
Leonard: Don't worry I was just goofin' aroud!
*Leonard and Penny got out of Sheldon's room*
Sheldon: *dreaming* Not Goofy, no!

Sheldon: When I look into your eyes, and you look into mine, I don't feel quite normal. I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and I feel terrified, and honestly I don't know what I'm feeling but I know the kind of man I want to be.