Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 32 of 112

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Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Amy: How did you get into my apartment?
Sheldon: Wow. Is that the kind of nagging I can expect now that you're my girlfriend?

Quote from the episode The Re-Entry Minimization

Leonard: I don't have a problem with Stuart. Besides, he gives us a 20% discount at his comic book store.
Sheldon: Well, I don't sell my friendship that cheaply.
Stuart: I can go 30.
Sheldon: Welcome aboard, old chum.

Quote from the episode The Relationship Diremption

Sheldon: *Knocks Knock Knock* Empty room (x3). If somebody answers, I'm going to freak out.

Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction

Sheldon: Wine and a girl in the dark. He's going to be bored out of his mind.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Stephanie: Where did you get the stethoscope and the blood pressure cuff?
Sheldon: My aunt Marion gave them to me for my 12th birthday. She thought if I failed at theoretical physics that I should have a trade to fall back on.

Quote from the episode The Precious Fragmentation

Penny: That is so sad.
Sheldon: No, what's sad is that you don't know Adam West is TV's Batman.

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Sheldon: Leonard?
Leonard: Yes?
Sheldon: (Sarcastic) When we played chess earlier, you were terrific, and I can't wait to play you again. Goodnight!

Quote from the episode The Nerdvana Annihilation

Leonard: How are we gonna get it upstairs?
Sheldon: If we take the dish off, it might fit in the elevator.
Leonard: Yes, but the elevator's been broken for two years.
Sheldon: I've been meaning to ask you, do you think we should make a call about that?
Howard: Not necessary, I have a master's in engineering. I remotely repair satellites on a regular basis. I troubleshoot satellite payloads. When the Mars Rover started pulling to the left, I performed a front-end alignment from 62 million miles away. (Pushing button on elevator) Nah, that baby's broken.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem

Sheldon: Looking out at your fresh young faces, I remember when I too was deciding my academic future as a lowly graduate student. Of course, I was 14 and had already achieved more than you could ever hope to, despite my 9:00 bedtime. Now, there may be one or two of you in this room who has what it takes to succeed in theoretical physics. It's more likely that you will spend your careers teaching fifth graders how to make paper-mache volcanoes with baking-soda lava.
Leonard: Oh, good God.
Sheldon: In short, anyone who told you that you would someday be able to make any significant contribution to physics played a cruel trick on you. A cruel trick indeed. Any questions? Of course not. I weep for the future of science. Now, if you'll excuse me, the latest issue of Batman is out. Come, Leonard.
Leonard: Laser demonstration's looking pretty good now, huh?

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Penny: Can I ask you a question?
Sheldon: Given your community-college education, I encourage you to ask me as many as possible.

Quote from the episode The Bozeman Reaction

Sheldon: It's all right, they didn't take my comic books.

Quote from the episode The Roommate Transmogrification

Sheldon: Oh Amy, I've never been touched like this before.

Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion

Sheldon: Rock - Paper - Scissors - Lizard - Spock

Quote from the episode The Toast Derivation

Sheldon: We could also stop using the letter M. But I think that idea is isguided and oronic.

Quote from the episode The Terminator Decoupling

Sheldon: No one calls me Moon Pie but Meemaw.

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