Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver
Penny: Amy doesn't want a pocket watch.
Sheldon: Maybe she wants a man with a pocket watch.
Quote from the episode The Rothman Disintegration
Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.
Quote from the episode The Transporter Malfunction
Sheldon: Everyone knows that I'm the group cut up.
Quote from the episode The Luminous Fish Effect
Sheldon: I can't believe he fired me.
Leonard: Well, you did call him a "glorified high school science teacher whose last successful experiment was lighting his own farts."
Sheldon: In my defense, I prefaced that with, "with all due respect."
Quote from the episode The Bat Jar Conjecture
Leonard: Come on, you need a four-person team. We're four people
Sheldon: By that reasoning we should also play bridge, hold up a huppah and enter the Olympic bobsled competition.
Quote from the episode The Apology Insufficiency
Sheldon: I believe you were about to ask me to choose a cocktail. Fortunately, thanks to computer-savvy alcoholics, there's an app for that.
Quote from the episode The Benefactor Factor
Sheldon: I think you have a real knack for gigolo work, Leonard.
Quote from the episode The Hot Troll Deviation
Sheldon: You're wrong again. If arrogance were my super power, my name would be Dr. Arroganto.
Quote from the episode The Financial Permeability
Leonard: Come on, there's four of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him.
Quote from the episode The Jerusalem Duality
Sheldon: It's like from the baseball movie, "If you build it, they will come."
Gablehauser: Who will come?
Sheldon: The Jewish People!
Gablehauser: What if they don't come?
Sheldon: We'll make it nice, put out a spread.
Quote from the episode The Friendship Contraction
Sheldon: It took me a gallon of urine to get that water!
Quote from the episode The Parking Spot Escalation
Howard: (Talking about his new car) its parked in 294.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, 294 is my parking spot.
Raj: You don't even drive.
Leonard: Maybe they reassigned it because you don't use it.
Sheldon: I don't use my nipples either, should they reassign those?
Quote from the episode The Maternal Capacitance
Sheldon: Yes, it's definitely a colonoscopy.
Leonard: My mother's coming for a visit.
Howard: Hey, what do you know. You were right.
Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization
Sheldon: YOU'RE THE MILK THIEF! Leonard said I was crazy but I knew that carton felt lighter.
Quote from the episode The Skank Reflex Analysis
Sheldon: If there is ever a church of Sheldon, it started here.
Quote from the episode The Monopolar Expedition
Sheldon: This is to train for a 3 months expedition to the magnetic North Pole.
Sheldon: I don't know how that sentence could possibly confuse you, [pause] but to elaborate, I'm going to the Arctic Circle with Leonard, Wolowitz and Koothrappali.
Quote from the episode The Spaghetti Catalyst
Penny:I think we can make it!
Leonard: Make what?
Penny: Make it as friends.
Leonard:Can we be friends that are having sex?
Leonard: Don't worry I was just goofin' aroud!
*Leonard and Penny got out of Sheldon's room*
Sheldon: *dreaming* Not Goofy, no!
Quote from the episode The Date Night Variable
Sheldon: When I look into your eyes, and you look into mine, I don't feel quite normal. I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and I feel terrified, and honestly I don't know what I'm feeling but I know the kind of man I want to be.
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