Sheldon QuotesPage 32 of 84

Searching Search quotes

Showing quotes 621 to 640 of 1,674Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: You keep in mind that my sharply-worded comments on Yelp.com recently took down a muffin store.

Quote from the episode The Adhesive Duck Deficiency

Sheldon: And good evening to you, Siam Palace, this is Sheldon Cooper. Yeah, I'm going to be dining alone this evening, so I'll be reducing my usual order. I'd like to start with one quarter of the assorted appetizers plate and one half of the Golden Treasure for two - oh, for heaven's sake! In the mid-18th century, King Rama the Fourth of Siam divided a huge empire amongst the colonial powers of Europe in order to preserve his throne. Surely you, his cultural descendant, can handle pad thai and dumplings.

Quote from the episode The Guitarist Amplification

Sheldon: Where exactly does the half-sandwich come from? Are you giving me half of someone else's sandwich, or do I have to wait for someone in the restaurant to order the other half?

Quote from the episode The Loobenfeld Decay

Toby: Damn you, Chaplain Horrigan.
Penny: I'm sorry?
Toby: The Phillipines: 1992: The Subic Bay Naval Station: A young boy on the cusp of manhood. His only companions, mongrel dogs and malarial mosquitoes. Desperate and alone, he reached out to a man who promised to introduce him to a merciful, loving God. But instead introduced him to a gin-pickled tongue shoved down his adolescent throat. What choice did he have but to drink, shoot, and snort his pain away?
Sheldon: Don't forget genetic predisposition towards addiction.
Toby: That's never been proven.
Sheldon: There have been studies.
Toby: Not double-blind studies!
Sheldon: How could there be double-blind study? Who would be the control group?

Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment

Sheldon: (Dictating) Research Journal, Entry One. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career: teaching Penny physics.! I'm calling it "Project Gorilla".

Quote from the episode The Agreement Dissection

Sheldon: (To the smoking monkey) You really are an ass.

Quote from the episode The Robotic Manipulation

Sheldon: Impressive, but we must be cautious.
Howard: Why?
Sheldon: Today, it's a Chinese-food-retrieval robot. Tomorrow, it travels back in time and kills Sarah Connor.

Quote from the episode The Vartabedian Conundrum

Sheldon: What could I possibly have done to offend Mrs. Vartabedian?

Quote from the episode The Speckerman Recurrence

Sheldon: I don't watch you twenty-four hours a day. I don't know what you do.

Quote from the episode The Large Hadron Collision

Sheldon: Hello.
Penny: Hello.
Sheldon: Ok, enough with the friendly banter. I believe you know why I am here.
Penny: Oh, I always figured it was to study us, discover our weaknesses, and report back to your alien overlords.
Sheldon: Yes amusing. Extraordinary intelligence might well appear extraterrestrial to you, but let me be more specific. I believe you know why I am here in the laundry room.

Quote from the episode The Shiny Trinket Maneuver

Sheldon: Remarkable. Diamonds. Crystalized carbon. Every day, people go to the grocery store and come home with sacks full of carbon, in the form of charcoal brickets, which they toss in their barbecues and set on fire. But just because you have some carbon with the atoms stacked neatly, you expect me to plunk down thousands of dollars.

Quote from the episode The Hofstadter Insufficiency

Sheldon: As rock and roll bad boy Paul Simon once said, "I am a rock. I am an i.....sland".

Quote from the episode The Locomotion Interruption

Sheldon: I feel renewed. I'm ready to deal with any changes that come my way. *Sees Penny* Your hair is different. You changed your hair. I can't take this. I'm out.

Quote from the episode The Vegas Renormalization

Sheldon: You know I'm in such a good mood I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp of the English language folksy and charming today.

Quote from the episode The Peanut Reaction

Sheldon: 1234 is not a secure password.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Sheldon: What if she ends up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve for the area under a curve?
Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him.
Sheldon: I wouldn't.

Quote from the episode The Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization

Leonard: Sheldon, why is this letter in the trash?
Sheldon: Well, there's always the possibility that a trash can spontaneously formed around the letter, but Occam's Razor would suggest that someone threw it out.

Quote from the episode Pilot

Leonard: New neighbor?
Sheldon: It seems so.
Leonard: Significant improvement over the old neighbor.
Sheldon: A 200 pound transvestite with a skin condition, yes, she is.

Quote from the episode The Flaming Spittoon Acquisition

Leonard: Stuart's kind of interested in Amy.
Sheldon: Well of course he is. She's very interesting. Did you know, when she was 14 she severed the webbing between her own toes?

Quote from the episode The Pulled Groin Extrapolation

Leonard: It turns out she really knows how to help a guy loosen up and have a good time. Although, truth be told, my groin is a little worse for wear.
*Sheldon karate chops Leonard*
Leonard: Why did you do that?
Sheldon: To send a message: She is not for you!
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: Not for you!

Showing quotes 621 to 640 of 1,674Sort by  popularity | date added | episode

Submit Quotes