Sheldon: Well, I suppose everyone's entitled to their own opinion. I think I'll turn in. I didn't wanna teach those poopy heads anyway.
Howard: FYI, I think that's what Darth Vader said just before he started building the Death Star.

Sheldon: But that doesn't mean that you should be standing on street corners, handing out your math to whatever guy comes along.

Sheldon: Virgin diet cuba libre please.
Penny: OK.
Sheldon: In a tall glass with a lime wedge.
Penny: Oh I'll wedge it right in there.

Sheldon: I spent so much of my childhood at that hospital. When I was 12, I got to ride there in a helicopter.
Stephanie: What? What happened?
Sheldon: Radiation burns. A little mishap while I was building my own CAT scanner.
Stephanie: I'm sorry, you tried to build your own CAT scanner?
Sheldon: No, I didn't try, I succeeded.

Penny: Sweetie, you do realize Thursday is Amy's birthday?
Sheldon: And you do realize I bought my ticket when Amy and I were broken up. I hope you didn't need anything in that case, because it's closed.

Penny: We wouldn't even sit in your spot while you're gone.
Sheldon: You're darn right, you wouldn't. No matter where I am, this will always be my spot. Like an embassy in a foreign country, this seat is the sovereign soil of my bottom.

Sheldon: Well, as you know, I'll be celebrating Amy's birthday with her, and I could use your assistance in helping me select the perfect gift.
Bernadette: Sure.
Sheldon: So far I've come up with three ideas. The first, is a chance for her to play the harp with the L.A. Philharmonic.
Penny: Wow. You can really arrange that?
Sheldon: I said a chance. When you tell them it's your birthday at Bennigan's they make a fuss. I don't see why the Philharmonic would be any different.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.

Sheldon: Very well. I will agree to a family-friendly, G-rated, boy/girl sleepover.
Amy: PG. Some scenes may be too intense for younger viewers.
Sheldon: G-rated with a warning for families with babies and toddlers.
Amy: You got yourself a sleepover.

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Bingo Was His Name-o"* There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K, space, M-A-X-W-E-L-L, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. *claps* A-M-E-S--
Leonard: Okay, okay, we get it.

Sheldon: I like a party as much as the next man, as long as the next man doesn't like a party.

Sheldon: Oh no, they sent the wrong Spock. Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto!

Sheldon: And of those few months, how long have you been a demented sex pervert?

Sheldon: I mean, it's not that I think we're living in sin, but I do like the idea that our next act of intimacy will be a legal requirement.

Penny: Just thinking about the day I met you and Leonard.
Sheldon: It was a Monday afternoon. You joined us for Indian food.
Penny: Can you believe it's been eight years?
Sheldon: And you're still eating our food.