Leslie: Oh, Leonard, you magnificent beast.

Mary Cooper: You know how your daddy used to say that you could only fish for so long before you gotta throw a stick of dynamite in the water?

Penny: This is the best cobbler I've ever had.
Mary Cooper: It was always Sheldon's favorite. You know what the secret ingredient is?
Penny: Love?
Mary Cooper: Lard.

Howard: What's this? (hand movement)
Sheldon:That's what you did. I assumed, as in a number of languages, that the gesture was part of the phrase.
Howard: Well, it's not.
Sheldon: Why am I supposed to know that? As the teacher, it's your obligation to separate your personal idiosyncrasies from the subject matter.

Leonard: Okay, I'm going ask you one more time. We did the work together, let's present the paper together.
Sheldon: And I'm telling you for the last time, it's pandering, it's undignified, and bite me.

Sheldon: Whoo! I'm all sweaty. Anybody wanna log on to Second Life and go swimming? I just built a virtual pool.
Leonard: No, I can't look at you or your avatar right now.

Sheldon: The entire institution of gift giving makes no sense. Let's say that I go out and I spend 50 dollars on you. It's a laborious activity because I have to imagine what you need whereas you know what you need. Now I could simplify things, just give you the 50 dollars directly and then you could give me 50 dollars on my birthday and so on, until one of us dies leaving the other one old and 50 dollars richer. And I ask you is, it worth it?

Wolowitz: Gentlemen, to the sewing machines!

Leonard: A joke. Okay. How about this, um, okay, uh there's this farmer, and he has these chickens, but they won't lay any eggs. So, he calls a physicist to help. The physicist then does some calculations, and he says, um, I have a solution, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum.

Howard: Hey, I'm damaged, too. How about a hug for Howie?

Leslie: I didn't know you eat here.
Sheldon: We don't, this is a disturbing aberration.

Raj: I don't believe it!
Howard: Neither do I. Doogie Howser's been off the air for like 20 years.

Howard: So who wants to rent Fiddler?
Sheldon: No need. We have the special edition.
Leonard: Well, maybe we are like Haroun and Tanweer.

Howard: Unbelievable! Components I built are on the International Space Station and I get a ticket for launching a rocket in the park.
Leonard: I don't know if the ticket was so much for the launch as for telling the policewoman "You have to frisk me, I have another rocket in my pants"!

Howard: (Talking to his private parts) I'm doing this for you, Little Buddy. (Eats the Granola bar)