Amy: Sheldon, that's enough.
Sheldon: Oh, yeah, no, fine. Let's just agree that both creations are special in their own way and it is foolish to try and compare them. Although, we didn't need to have sex with Howard for ours, so we win.

Leonard: I got it.
Howard: You really figured it out?
Leonard: No, but when we show this nonsense to Sheldon, it will make him crazy, and he'll have to fix it.
Howard: Oh, you're a genius.
Leonard: Yeah, I know. That's not even a math symbol. That's just Charlie Brown's hair.

Sheldon: I am not proud of this. But I have been envious of your recent success.
Bert: Wow, I won the MacArthur Grant, everyone's jealous of me. Once I get LASIK, I'll be out of things to wish for.

Bernadette: Not every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never gonna have kids and one day you wake up and you're pregnant. And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog!

Howard: How about after this we go see the exotic bird show?
Stuart: Not a good idea. My hair is a coveted nesting material.

Penny: Not only did they eat together, Leonard said he made her laugh.
Bernadette: That's nothing, Howie said she touched his hand.
Penny: Did he Purell?
Bernadette: No.
Penny: I cannot believe Leonard mentioned the Toblerone but left that part out.

Penny: Uh, what's new?
Zack: Oh, tons of stuff. Put artificial grass in my backyard, got engaged, had a scary mole that turned out to be Sharpie.
Penny: Well, congratulations.
Zack: That's what my dermatologist said.
Penny: No, on getting engaged, good for you.
Zack: Oh, thanks.

Leonard: Oh, it's just nice to be with people who are happy to have me around. Isn't that right, Halley?
*Halley starts crying*
Howard: Well, at least someone had the courage to say it.

Leonard: It's not that I'd stopped trying, it's just how relationships progress. They start with infatuation, but over time mellow into something more comfortable.
Sheldon: Hmm. Yeah, you're right. It's like when I first encountered the Pythagorean Theorem. You know, I was blown away that the square of the hypotenuse was the sum of the squares of the opposite sides. Yeah, but now I'm just like "eh."

Sheldon: Oh, you know. The Lone Star state. That should be its Yelp rating.

Sheldon: At our age, why don't we call it man's night?
Leonard: Because we just spent our allowance on comic books.

Leonard: Okay, so this is the main Comic-Con floor. It's where all the vendors and exhibits are.
Penny: Wow, that is a lot of people jammed in there.
Leonard: I know. Sometimes Howard wears a striped shirt so we can play "Where's Wolowitz?"

Penny: Does the baby have a name yet?
Howard: We have named her Halley.
Penny: Oh!
Leonard: Oh, like Halley's comet.
Howard: Exactly. Also like the comet, Bernadette said she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years.

Leonard: Now we're going as Hulk and She-Hulk. I don't want to take my shirt off at Comic-Con.
Sheldon: If I may speak for Comic-Con, we don't want that either.

Howard: Stuart, stop driving like an old man. Speed it up a little.
Stuart: I'm not an old man! I just can't see at night.