Amy: Well, clearly mental tasks are not enough. Maybe you need to challenge your motor skills.
Sheldon: For the last time, I am not having a tickle fight with you.

Penny: Do you think living with Amy has somehow stirred up Sheldon's sexual appetite?
Bernadette: (grimacing with disgust) Ugh. How can you think that? Why would you even put those words together?

Penny: So, did you tell him about Princeton yet?
Amy: No, I'm waiting till he's in a good mood.
Penny: Oh, sweetie, you might not live that long.

Leonard: Wow! An appearance by George Lucas's ... dermatologist. Oh, I want that autograph.
Penny: Oh, yeah.

Penny: So, what do you want to do?
Leonard: I know exactly what we are gonna do.
Penny: Really? You're a genius, and that's the first thing you come up with?
Leonard: Hey, Sheldon's not here, so we are going to put on music and dance in our underwear.
Penny: Ugh. Can we just have sex?
Leonard: Oh, don't worry. Once you see my sweet moves, sex is inevitable.

Leonard: You'll have nerds fawning all over you. If you don't love that, this marriage is in trouble.

Penny: Okay, listen to me. Your relationship can handle being long distance for a while. It's not like you two are very physical.
Amy: Hey, you don't know what goes on behind closed doors.
Penny: A lot of lectures?
Amy: All right, so you know.

Sheldon: Leonard? Leonard?
Leonard: What?
Sheldon: You realize you and I could become brothers.
Leonard: We're not gonna be brothers. We're not gonna be step brothers. Go to sleep.
Sheldon: I hope you're right. 'Cause a grown man living with his brother and his brother's wife is weird.

Sheldon: Well, I think it's very nice that you're helping out our friend.
Leonard: I think it's nice that you're taking whatever medication Amy's clearly giving you.

Sheldon: Gentlemen, we need to stop immediately.
Howard: What's wrong?
Sheldon: I am looking at the math, and I think we can make the device between eight and ten percent smaller.
Leonard: That's great, but the Air Force approved the specs. We're good to go.
Howard: Yeah, it doesn't need to be smaller.
Sheldon: Shame on you. Where would we be if poodle breeders had that attitude? I'll tell you. We would have the standard and the miniature poodle, but no toy or teacup. Which by the way, is not an officially recognized breed, but that's just poodle politics.
Leonard: Can we please stop talking about poodles?
Sheldon: Fine. Candy bars. Now, do you enjoy a fun size? I know you do.

Bernadette: For Howie's occupation, should I include that he was an astronaut?
Amy: Well, he mentioned it in his mother's eulogy, so why not?

Raj: What just happened?
Howard: A stranger just lured Sheldon away with a candy bar.

Leonard: Okay, look, Sheldon, the Colonel wants us to make the guidance system smaller, and we can't do it without you.
Sheldon: Interesting. So I was right.
Howard: Open a window. It's about to get smug in here.

Sheldon: Oh, that was my sixth trip to the bathroom. As long as that's not a urinary tract infection, that's a personal best.

Stuart: Okay, instead of arguing all night, let's just split up the baby chores.
Raj: Yeah, great. Um, I'll put food in her top half, you deal with whatever comes out the bottom.